The blogging muse can strike at odd places. Yesterday in the supermarket I foolishly stood behind a group of three elderly ladies at the checkout. (I refuse to do the self service check out on moral grounds – cheap retail behemoths that dont want to pay for staff). After some time flicking through trashy magazines I felt irritation well up within me. That’s not suppose to happen on a daycare day! While Usain Bolt’s recent achievements makes one ponder just how fast humans can move these ladies were pushing the envelope in the opposite direction. They seemed to be testing the limits of slowness. My annoyance was tinged with guilt. After all I’m not getting any younger and will be in their position one day. Then it I realized that this thought was rubbish. I’ll grow frail and even more feeble of mind but surely I wont be blockading supermarket queues!
Unlike The Who I dont ” hope I die before I get old” but I do intend to be one groovy old duck – a senior hippizen!! I’m only in my early 40s but its never to early to begin collecting the accruements of disgraceful aging.
I’m starting with the bedazzled kaftan and funky earring collection. I’ll start as I mean to go on by savoring plenty of red wine. Infact this evening I’m enjoying Mamre Brook 2005 Barossa Shiraz. I’ll also increase my daily intake of chocolate for its medicinal properties of course. Other means of achieving the mantle of senior hippizen include;
– Volunteering for everything. The most interesting jobs in this world are unpaid.
– Staying technically relevant, having an IT husband will surely help.
– Reading voraciously. Hell I might even get around to Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey but they’ll be on the bottom of the pile.
– I will be a grey nomad getting to the places I regret not seeing in my 20s.
– Scrounging around markets and op shops for funky, original pieces. What’s stopping me now – kids!
– Eschewing sleek post modernism in favor of color, patterns and mismatching prints.
– Saying pretentious things like “post modernism” even though it surely is an outmoded term already.
– Chuckling at all the young whippersnappers with their 30 Things To Do Before 30 lists. I’ll have an 80 Things Before 80 list and we all know that bigger and longer is better!
– I’ll be a stalwart at community college doing all the things I currently dont have time for.
– Taking in live shows which don’t feature Dorothy The Dinosaur.
– Attending art exhibitions.
– Appreciating young hunks from behind my over-sized embellished sunglasses.
– Continuing to write. Minor issues like declining health and mental prowess will not shut me up.
And here are a few things I don’t plan on doing;
– Living vicariously through the Princesses.
– Dismissing the music of today as rubbish even though it is clearly inferior to that of the musical golden age that was the 1980s.
– Cruising the local bingo halls for talent. I cant make the same promise about golf courses, lawn bowling clubs or Rotary.
– Playing the pokies. I can not imagine a more boring pursuit although standing around parks pushing swings comes close.
– Taking live shows and art exhibitions too seriously.
– Wearing gabardine anything.
– Blockading supermarket queues!
I’m making aging sound like fun, almost something to look forward to despite the physical and mental decline that goes with it.
How do you plan to morph from being a yummy mummy through middle aged MILFdom into a sassy senior hippizen? I’d love to hear your tips for aging disgracefully.