Crumpet With Vegemite


Crumpet With Vegemite – Top Aussie Blokes                          

If you come here often as the cheesy line goes, you’ve probably noticed that I have a penchant for floppy haired Brits (but NOT Hugh Grant).  It is most unpatriotic and runs contrary to my real life experience. To borrow from the (British and crumpety) folk singer Billy Bragg – I’ve had relations with boys of many nations but I’ve found the homegrown product to be vastly superior.  Its time Mumabulous raised a glass of the finest Barossa red to our fair dinkum Aussie blokes.

When thinking about this country’s hawtest exports, the following come straight to mind.

Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman

Sam Worthington

Sam Worthington

Prime beef

Prime beef

Eric Bana

Eric Bana

The Hemsworths

The Hemsworths



I have absolutely no problem with any of the above and believe they should be flogged mercilessly to developing nations. However there is a veritable smorgasbord of others who deserve our attention. Here are some of my choices from the well stocked buffet table.

Guy Pearce

Back in the 1980s who would ever have imagined that the truly awful low budget soap Neghbours would bring us two of our most successful pop stars (I’m talking about the Blakeney twins) and arguably our best actor?*  Not only does Guy Pearce tick all my usual boxes – razor sharp cheek bones, disheveled wavy hair, lean and hungry frame etc, etc, he is an actor of considerable talent. What’s more he often makes more cerebral choices in the roles he tackles whilst at the same time not eschewing the big budget block busters – proving he is not an intellectual snob.

Hipster credentials and acting talent. What a Guy.

Hipster credentials and acting talent. What a Guy.

Hamish and Andy

You may think this is a strange choice given my disdain for commercial TV and radio but c’mon – Hamish and Andy are gorgeous! When Andy was dating Megan Gale it was oft commented that he was “punching above his weight”. In my opinion however, courting dudes as adorable as Andy Lee is one of the great perks of being a supermodel. Megan may have infact been punching above her weight (which is not difficult given her super slimness).

Caravan of cuteness.

Caravan of cuteness.

David Wenham
You knew I was going to mention this one – didn’t you? David Wenham is the archetypal Mumabulous crumpet. Red hair – check, edgy indie, art house credentials – check, charmed Sigrid Thorton in Seachange – check and displayed some impressive abdominal action in the film “300” – (Oh My!) CHECK!

It was an awful movie - but Oh my..

It was an awful movie – but Oh my..

I have special affection for David as he is the actor who most closely resembles my husband. In fact he has already been cast to take the lead role in Dadabulous – The Movie. What an edge of your seat thrill ride that promises to be.

Dadabulous doppleganger?

Dadabulous doppleganger?

Richard Roxburgh

Richard Roxburgh as Cleaver Greene came straight from heaven’s casting couch. Can you imagine being seduced by this silver tongued, sleazeball lawyer? I could and frequently do. I’d regret in the morning but isn’t that half the fun?

God summoned Richard Roxburgh to her casting couch.

The bad boy of the bar.

William McInnes

The camera loves some people but is quite unjust to others. William McInnes falls into the latter category. I had the joy of seeing him in Don Juan at the Sydney Opera House eons ago during the Singleabulous era. I can therefore happily report to you that whilst attractive on screen, William McInnes is absurdly smokin’ hawt in person. He’s got an indefinable charisma that hits you from way across the room. It doesn’t hurt that he is built like a splendid oak tree. I spent the entire performance wanting to climb it and swing from the branches. The fact that he is also a successful writer with a number of newspaper columns and several books to his name does nothing to lessen my ardor.

I enjoyed Seachange as much as my parents did

I enjoyed Seachange as much as my parents did

Well cobbers there’s more crumpet than you can poke a stick at in our wide brown land. I’ve been flat out like a lizard drinking trying to narrow this list down to just a handful. But strewth – I just cant. Here’s some honorable mentions.

Adam Hills

Shaun Micallef

Tim Minchin

Will Anderson

James Valentine

The entire AFL code

Eddie Perfect

The Chaser Team


Who are your favourite Aussie crumpets?

C’mon Aussie, C’mon


Awww Yes - we really loved Seachange - but get your hands of my husband's celebrity look alike you bitch Sigrid Thorton!

Awww Yes – we really loved Seachange – but get your hands of my husband’s celebrity look alike you bitch Sigrid Thorton!

* On par with the excellent Geoffrey Rush in my opinion.

46 thoughts on “Crumpet With Vegemite

  1. Totally with you on Guy Pearce.

  2. Oh MAN. Mumabs. Thanks for such a nourishing breakfast this morning. I am well sated. However… Now you’ve whacked them side by side, I may need to trade in my Chris for a Liam. I am a dark girl at heart. His choice of partner leaves me questioning his cerebrum, but this is breakfast, right? Not fine dining. I absolutely second all your other choices, bar Tim Minchin. He grates a little. Yum. Thanks.

    • Yeh but Liam has been making late night booty calls to January Jones’ house. I read it on the interwebs so it must be true. Now people as for Tim Minchin – he is a musical genius as demonstrated by such masterworks as ” Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger” and “If I didn’t have you someone else would surely do”. Its poetic gold man and I’m not having arguments against it.

      • Sorry Kimbo but I am also a massive Minchin fan. So smart and so funny and so darn cute :) As for Hugh, he’s just a honey. Guy Pierce was my beloved back when he was Mike in Neighbours, not least because I was very much into bikers at that time – but my favourite has to be a bit of Bana. I fancied him more than Pitt in Troy, to squeals of general outrage. I even fancied him a bit as Uncle Chop Chop :D Eric for the win!

      • You are showing your excellent taste once again Ace. Eric Bana is light years hawter than Brad Pitt.

  3. WOW Mumabs – we have almost identical vegemite taste. Thanks for the pics. Guy Pearce and Richard Roxburgh are high up on my list. Yes to everything but like Kim above, I cannot see crumpetness in Tim Minchin. Also, my all-time Aussie crumpet is not on your list – and that may be because he is no longer with us. Stay Young Michael Hutchence.

    • Michael Hutchence was very charismatic but sadly very mixed up. I can remember the night he died – mainly because I spent most of it wearing a plastic Viking Hat and dancing to the Village People with a fireman. It was a weird night for everyone.

  4. Simon Black. Lucas Neill. Matt Le Nevez. Chris Cheney.

  5. I was in heaven with the first photo you posted and now as Sinead would say “Nothing compares to you” but I am also a HUGE Helmsworth brother fan – and yes Eric Bana, a tasty morsel also. There’s a few rugby union and league boys that float my boat but the NZ Richie McCaw really is a cut above them all – Google him – WORTH IT B xx

  6. I love how you casually added Dadabs there, right at the last minute. Also a Minchin fan. I guess I should have married another ranga if I wanted ginger kidlets. Didn’t even get one. Hmph. Love Adam Hills, also. Can’t believe you forgot Patrick from Offspring. OMG it was so sad when he died. What? He’s not a real person? Thank goodness, he’s still alive then. Phew.

    • I’m probably the only person in Australia who doesnt watch Offspring so the entire Patrick thing passed me by. I watched a few episodes when it first started and Don Hany was in it – that made for quality viewing.

      • I watched about 10 minutes off Offspring once, no thanks :) I don’t watch any TV at all, just stream the best of the best shows online. No ads, no news, no political rubbish, no presenters with huge egos who think they’re witty or famous – saves breakage on remotes and general rising of BP :)

  7. Bravo on some great choices!!! I will have to make a rebuttal on your choice of the Hemsworths – if only Liam didn’t make such bad fiance choices. Seriously.
    I remember watching “300” and thinking – all these 6 packs just can’t be real! They just can’t! It was hurting my eyes!

    • You dont have to be Athena Starwoman to predict that Miley and Liam wont last. I doubt they will get through the next 12 months. Anyhow – 300 was ridiculous – some of those six packs look like they have been painted on.

  8. hmmm, this needs a little pondering from me, but Shaun Micallif was there when he first came to fame, not so much now…

  9. Another great morning read, M.
    What about Peter O’Brien from his short-lived White Collar Blue days? Hawt!

  10. I loved seachange and will look forward to Dadabulous the movie :D
    I agree too, the Chaser boys are cute! Something about being funny and intelligent and offbeat cute :)
    What a great set you have here, esp the hemsworths and Sam – sigh- hehehe
    Aussie, aussie, aussie!

  11. I love using the term crumpets in this way. Hugh Jackman does it for me – I’d love a guy who can dance after my hubby who wont even get on the dancefloor.

  12. I thought Megan was dating up too!
    Smiled to see Shaun Micallef on the list. Gee he cracks me up :)

  13. Ohh definitely a delectable selection. Neighbours at the moment is providing a nice selection of aussie crumpet, Kip Gamblin, Chris Milligan and Taylor Glockner mmmmm

  14. Oh dear, oh dear. I’ll judge not. I did once see Guy Pearce at a nightclub in Cambodia. Just one of those random things.

  15. Isn’t is lovely to see an Aussie crumpet go on to international success! Aussie men have that gorgeous look about them…playful…Grrr!

  16. Love the “crumpet with vegemite” heading. Too clever.

    When Guy Pearce was totty on Neighbours, who knew he’s turn out to be so smart? Definitely on my Aussie list. x

  17. LoL my husband looks most like the weasley twins from Harry Potter.

  18. Love it! And I agree with – most – of your choices! I think Hamish and Andy are lovely too – and boy do I love watching seachange – every season! Thanks for the lovely lucious post!

  19. I used to be infatuated with Guy Pearce too back in the day …. these days, Hamish actually does it for me. I love funny guys ;) xx

  20. So nice to see the AFL hotties get a mention. Have you googled the new bachelor? Phroooar ;)

  21. Hamish and Andy are my celebrity pass!!! Much to like here. Shaun Micallef is also a nice piece of honey crumpet. Magnificent post!

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