I see my ‘Abulous life as a fairy tale. Except that I’m more like one of the Ugly Sisters who having been thoroughly rejected by Prince Charming takes up with the Palace IT guy instead. It turns out to be a remarkable twist of fate – almost as if the fairy Godmother was looking out for the ugly sister on the sly. The Palace IT guy has a mind like a diamond, abs of steel and a heart of gold. Through his esoteric knowledge, techno wizardry not to mention entrepreneurial flair he is highly sort after in the Kingdom. He does very nicely thank you very much. Another analogy is a jaded thirty something Guinevere becoming bored with the macho posturing of Lancelot and Arthur and running off with Merlin. ( Only in this case Merlin’s magic is his mastery of C+ and other mystic tongues).
So by whichever sorcery brought it about, Mumabulous finds herself in the position of being the boss’ wife. I suppose it confers a certain amount of status in a quaint pre-feminist sort of way. It is something I did not expect and was certainly not groomed for (as my last post about language will attest). Luckily for me Dadabs is not Sir Schmooze-alot so I haven’t had to do much of the typical “executive” partner thing. I’ve avoided he conference and dinner party circuit. Dear Lord – could you imagine it? Mumabs making risque puns and honking was Dadabs tried to butter up clients at swish events?
Now that I’m actually going into the office I am expected to conduct myself with some decorum in front of the staff. It has been a challenge – as if getting dressed and getting to work wasn’t challenging enough. The first major problem is the way I address my husband. I try to call him by his given name but occasionally I lapse into “home speak” and refer to him as “Daddy”. (Clearly as parents we haven’t lost our identity). Its all to easy to address him as “darling” and even easier still to call him “&^%&#@”.
I try to keep the conversation about the kids to a minimum. However sometimes I find myself regaling Dadabs with tales of my epic struggles to get the kids ready for school & daycare – complete with my own interpretation of their interpretation of the latest Katy Perry song. I don’t think the Gen Y staff really need to hear or indeed see any of this. It might put them off parenthood and the country needs more smart people to breed.
Most of all I’ve got to watch the seriously bad puns. I embarrassed Dadabs a few weeks ago. He hung up the phone with an exasperated sigh and muttered ” Some clients want me to wave a magic wand”. To which I said “Oh Daddy there’s magic in your wand”. “Daggers” is the best description of the death stare I got after that clanger. He mouthed “Shut up, shut up”. Another time I had to send an invoice to a gentleman whose compound surname had “bush” in it. I said “that sounds like a porn name”. The staff member who was sitting nearest at the time chuckled. I dont know if he actually found it funny or he was just being polite to the boss’ wife.
Could you imagine Cinderella acting that way in front of her Prince? Nah me neither. Would I want to swap places with her? Not on your life. Ugly sisters rock!
How do you handle work events with your spouse?