Are you thinking about using the services of a Life Coach? Let me save you hundreds of non-medicare rebated dollars by giving you the low down. They will tell you is to formulate some goals. Once these goals are tabulated, they will check your weekly progress and put a proverbial rocket up you if you fail to achieve them. That’s $150 thank you very much.
Here at Chez Abulous we dont need to pay for life hacking because our lives are well and truly hacked.
Dadabulous exemplifies a successful life on all levels. Early in our marriage he informed be of his personal mission because forewarned is forearmed. He was not going to slide passively into decrepitude with age. On the contrary he plans to go out with an extended roar. The hills of the eastern suburbs will truly come to life with the sound of his whinging. If anything (no matter how trivial) even vaguely pisses him off he will fire out missives of complaint to the perpetrator, the newspaper and the local MP. His role model would be Victor Meldrew of One Foot In The Grave but he can’t stand that kind of gentle British comedy. Its yet another thing for him to complain about.
Many people dream the dream but Dadabs lives it. We recently sampled a local French bistro sans kids. Although the food was good it did not represent value for money. Dadabs is a keen seeker of value for money. ( Funnily Bunnings always represents money well spent whilst shoe shopping doesn’t). The complaints came thick and fast. The bistro was asking top dollar but forced the customer to pay for vegetable sides, corkage was exorbitant and the communal seating was inconsistent with the outrageous pricing. The diatribe continued on an off throughout the evening and into the following day. I reminded him of his goal of becoming a grumpy old man and commended him on how close he was to achieving it.
Dadabs was compelled to justify this dubious honour. He explained that as a man ages he only gets better at three things;
1) Sprouting hair from the ears and nostrils.
The conversation then morphed into the most intellectually rigorous debate of our relationship. I argued that much like sexual prowess, farting peaks in adolescence. No creature farts with more gleeful abandon than a teenage boy. Dadabs and I will have to agree to disagree on that score. Meanwhile he remains resolute in his mission to become a cranky old grouch. I have no doubt he will fulfill this goal by the preciously young age of 47. (He’s 46) Aren’t you feeling inspired?
Whilst my husband is on top of his game, I am barely treading water. I have made it my mission to become the dirtiest middle aged woman since Patsy Stone but I seemed to have stalled in my quest. For one thing I’m not going to the gym because I’m distracted by self indulgent pursuits like housework. This has removed a couple of good perving hours from my week. However I take consolation in the fact that I am still paying gym membership and making a real contribution towards building the hunks of the future. It should be tax deductible.
Moreover I’m seriously falling down in the cougar fashion stakes. I’m missing the ab to my fab. Just look at my leopard print shoes? Scuffed and disgraceful. I’d upgrade but I dont have time to waft around Bondi Junction Westfield like a
yummy mummy, middle aged dowager. There’s so much wrong with that sentence. It shows just how far I’ve strayed from my true calling.
Meanwhile my sassy seven year old says I should team these boxer shorts with cat ears and be a cougar for Halloween. I dont know where she’d get an idea like that. It is however entirely appropriate for the occasion. It’d be the scariest costume on our block, if notthe whole of Sydney.
The other area where I am letting team Cougar down is on the drinking front. I confess I’m all Friday night Facebook talk but very little action. I managed two glasses (and relished very sip) of this cab sav last night and I’ll match it with two tonight. I’m sure you’ll agree its a feeble effort.
There’s now way in Hades I’d pay for the services of a life coach so I am turning it over to you. Blog fans could you hack my ‘abulous life ? How can I get back on track on my journey towards becoming a dirty old lady?
Is your husband a Victor Meldrew?
Farting? – At what stage in life does it peak?
Life hacks like or loathe?
* Yes the rocket is Dadabs handiwork. He is polymath.