I am not doing an in depth analysis of our local rugby club with this post. Nor am I reminiscing about an Irish backpacker with whom I may have been briefly acquainted around the time of the Sydney Olympics. Rather I’m talking about a recent movie date with Dadabulous. Ever since the trailer came out Dadabs has been “like totally pumped” to see Pacific Rim. I was ever so slightly less enthused but was a willing participant nevertheless. It looked so over the top as to be a self parody, the funniest thing since Starship Troopers.
In case you are not aware of this piece of cinematic genius let me brief you – Pacific Rim is 131 minutes of gigantic robots slugging it out against gigantic Godzillalike alien lizards. As the force is strong with Mumabs I can sense the tide of excitement rising in some of you. I’m guessing however that for the majority of you the will to read on has just vapourized. Bear with me as this film features gratuitous beefcake.
Still here? Good. Before we entering the cinema I got an unexpected but pleasurable shot of patriotism through the movie posters. Look Australia has its very own alien fighting robot! It has dinky di name of Striker Eureka and gets to belt the bejeepers out of an alien invader in Sydney harbour. Finally Australia is portrayed as a force to be reckoned with on the world stage. Its as if Kevin Rudd’s wildest fantasies suddenly came to pass, only with much less dialogue.
Striker Eureka’s design has been the subject of much heated discussion among the fanboys and girls on the interwebs. Some have suggested that this may have been a more authentically Australian look.
I however would have liked to have seen Eureka Striker wearing a Ned Kelly helmet and armed with a gigantic alien crushing cricket bat. In keeping with the cricket theme, Dadabulous thinks a gigantic box may have come in handy.
Given that I was riled up with jingoism you can well imagine my disappointment when we were introduced to Striker Eureka’s pilots – the father and son team Herc and Chuck Hansen. Huh – excuse me? Don’t you mean Bruce and Trevor or Wayne and Shane? In this country the name Chuck is reserved for folk with the surname “Wood” or people who have embarrassed themselves by vomiting publicly. These ridiculous names paled into insignificance when the actors open their mouths and bad cockney accents come out. Its such a let down. Our nation finally gets its big cinematic moment and the powers that be cant even be bothered casting actual Aussies to pilot our fair dinkum robot. Stone the flamin’ crows. The crumpetiness of the Herc Hansen character goes some way towards redeeming the situation but it is not enough.
This actor has a lean and hunger Richard Roxburgh type look about him so why not simply hire Richard Roxburgh? Richard Roxburgh is hawt.
Just when you thought our national pride couldn’t be affronted any further, Striker Eureka was required to make the ultimate sacrifice so that the American robot could play the hero. It was like Gallipoli all over again.
My patriotic concerns aside, the film offered plenty more to ridicule. It employed pretty much every cliche in the book. For instance a hostile alien race emerges from a time/space portal. Didn’t that happen in The Avengers? Humanity averts catastrophe by nuking said time/space portal. Again – it happened in The Avengers. The enemy is a monstrous race of scavengers bent on destruction and lacking in any morality or nuance. Hmm sounds like Independence Day. The characters were cardboard cut outs – featuring the usual line up of noble commander, blonde maverick hero, mad scientists and over the top gangsters. The plot holes were as blatant as the use of cliches – some were so big they resembled the offending time/space portal.
Still I can not bring myself to dislike Pacific Rim. Its not Wim Wenders. Its giant robots belting the crapola out of giant lizards. If you approach it with a spirit of fun and a choc top you’ll be rewarded. I laughed louder than the teenage boys seated opposite us and afterward bonded with Dabads by dissecting the plot faults. (because that’s the kinky kind of people we are at Team Abulous). In the meantime we are both eagerly awaiting the release of Elysium. We both think it looks awesome.
Have you seen any good films lately.