I’ve been blogging consistently (well almost) for 18 months. Surely that effort entitles me to a completely random post. And surely school holidays is the time to utilize this well earned privilege. With two kids to keep entertained, my creativity reserves are running low. Therefore instead of constructing a purposeful post designed to both illuminate and educate I’m going to spray you with disconnected thoughts. I’m going to make like Jackson Pollack except with words rather than enamel and aluminium paint.
Here we go. Splat!
Random thought no 1 – Dadabulous is a futurist.
My husband is a self proclaimed expert on the direction of future technology. Over the 10 year course of our beautiful relationship he has regaled me with enough predictions to fill a book. It would be a cult favorite like Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock or Damien Broderick’s -The Spike. Every time we commence one of these discussions I always say “I am going to write all of this time and call you on it in 50 years time. I’m really going to enjoy telling you that you were wrong”. (Isn’t it lovely that I can say that to him with there being a realistic chance of it actually happening). Anyhow I for the purposes of collecting blog fodder I asked him whether he thought Google Glass would take off in 2014. (For the haplessly non-tech like myself – Google Glass is a headset which looks like a normal pair of glasses. It performs the role of personal computer but is entirely voice activated. Screen images are projected onto the glasses lenses)
The answer was “no” qualified with a “not until the AI improves to the point where the Google Glass can act like a virtual personal assistant”. This was followed with a diatribe about how badly artificial intelligence has been done so far complete with a practical demonstration of the degree to which Suri sux. She really is a dumb arse! So basically we have a five to ten year window before Google Glass really goes mainstream. The oracle has spoken.
My concerns about Google Glass are more simplistic. I am worried that people are going to be walking (and God help us driving) around distracted by the images on the Google glass. The number of people seriously injuring themselves by slamming into poles is set to sky rocket. I’ve seen the future and it has a flat nose.
Random thought no 2 – A prediction of my own
Fassbender is in line for the Best Supporting Actor award at the Oscars for his harrowing performance in 12 Years a Slave. On behalf of the Fass-cinators the world over – “WOOT!”. However he wont be getting a 13 inch statuette this year (Not that he needs it. Nudge nudge. Wink Wink). There are two reasons why.
1) As evidenced by the George Bush presidencies Americans are an intellectually inferior race. They simply don’t get the Fass-appeal.
2) More significantly Jared Leto lost 18 kgs to play a transgender AIDS victim in The Dallas Buyers club. The rule of thumb goes that the more physically and emotionally challenged the character the greater the chance of getting the gong. Jared is a shoe in – most likely a sequinned wedge.
Meanwhile if there is any justice in this world the award for the Most Gratuitous Beefcake in the Feature Film should go to Chris Hemsworth in Thor 2. That shirtless bathing scene was approximately 30 seconds of well toned torso which contributed absolutely nothing to the plot (such that it was). It did provoke Dadabs to prod me and comment “Well that didn’t take him long” and to subsequently admonish me with “Control yourself woman” when I cracked up laughing in the cinema. In a similar vein the Best Performance by A Pair of Leather Pants award belongs to the Loki costume.
Random though no 3 – Who’s your gay crush?
This is similar to the Thinking Woman’s Crumpet game except without the vaguest possibility of crumpet. Any satisfaction is purely cerebral – not that there’s anything wrong with that. My number one gay crush is undoubtedly the incomparable write and humorist David Sedaris. In the idealised alternative universe (aka the Mumtopia) I attend dinner parties at his West Sussex home trading bon mots and wry observations. Like this one -
In the last month of the presidential campaign, I tuned in to conservative talk radio and listened as callers considered the unthinkable. One after another, they all threatened the same thing: “If McCain doesn’t win, I’m leaving the country.”
“Oh, right,” I’d say. “You’re going to leave and go where? Right-wing Europe?” In the Netherlands now, I imagine it’s legal to marry your own children. Get them pregnant, and you can abort your unborn grandbabies in a free clinic that used to be a church. The doctor might be a woman who became a man and then became a woman again, all on taxpayers’ dollars, but as long as she saves the stem cells, she’ll have the nation’s blessing.
Honorable mentions go to
Stephen Fry: If I have to explain this you should not be reading my blog. Move along.
Graham Norton: When my blog becomes world famous and celebrities start lining up to get the Mumabulous crumpet treatment, Graham Norton will be my first talk show gig.
Julian Clary: As I love my humor to be camp as the proverbial row of tents how can I resist a man who names his autobiography ” A Young Man’s Passage” ?
Do you have any randomness of your own this week?