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Who Do You Dress For?

I love the fashion bloggers. They are taking the esoteric world of Haute couture and demystifying it for everyone. You don’t have the connections of Anna Wintour, the body of  Gisele Bündchen or the budget of Gina Rinehart to join in the party. Whats more the likes of Kim-Marie (http://kimbalikes.com/), Rachel (http://www.redcliffestyle.com/) and Mama Stylista (http://www.mamastylista.com/) all have an infectious exuberance. I’ve not met any of them but they seem like they’d be a fun addition to any gal posse.  They obviously get so much enjoyment from fashion whereas my relationship to clothes has been fraught.

Being style challenged is a consummate first world problem. I’m sure that the boat people would love to have the opportunity to struggle with accessories.  Nevertheless during my younger days, from the black clad wanna-be gothic teen years, through to my office life where I tried to balance the corporate uniform with a touch of individuality,I could never quite “nail it”.  The thing I “nailed” was attracting boyfriends who were quick to point out exactly what I was doing wrong. I was not sexy enough for some or elegant enough for others. Some deemed my neither sexy nor elegant. For a young woman this kind of criticism is confidence shaking. I sheepishly admit that there were occasions where I put money and time into meeting my ex-paramours’ exacting standards. If I could borrow the keys to the TARDIS I’d go back and give these jerks the middle finger with a resounding STFU.

Still I learned from these experiences. My former flames’ respect for me did not increase with a make-over. They would quickly move on to something else to criticize. Also I noticed that the response I got from the wider world didn’t change greatly based on what I was wearing. A brief stint where I played the hawt babe with towering heels and short skirts did not transform me into a man magnet. My relationships with my male friends remained grounded in humor and shared interests. It didn’t seem to matter much to them whether I was wearing jeans and flats or a bum grazing mini. On the other hand revealing outfits provoked the occasional snide remark from females.

These days I dress for no one other than myself. I wear what I feel comfortable and happy in. Trinny & Suzannah, Gok Wan and Carson Kressley can all sod right off. I intend to ski the downhill slope to old age in a blaze of colors, patterns and quirky fabulousness.

Case in point.

I’ve just invested in a super sized hat. It’s the kind favored by middle aged matrons who have nothing to do but schmooze around resorts all day. You will observe the leopard skin scarf and the oversized turtle shell retro sunglasses.  This combination feels like I’m wearing a satellite dish and a car windscreen. Nevertheless it makes perving on young hunks undetectable.

I’m picking up Foxtel with this.

Shorts are mandatory for kid wrangling in the summer months. Here is my latest purchase. They were the longest ones I could find. The pattern is busier than Charlie Sheen’s dealer but at least it takes attention away from the cellulite just beneath the hem line. I ask you why hide a round butt when you can swathe it in fab and shake it about?

Hell yeh – my butt looks big in these.

I live in a Sydney beach side suburb that is not Bondi and I’m middle aged. All roads are leading to the kaftan! I’ve recently topped up the collection with these two.

I got the blues.

The next one hails from that mecca of hippidom – Tree of Life. It came with the dubious claim that “one size fits all”. On my vertically challenged frame it is more like a Mum tent but its a Mum tent of magnificence.  I can’t wait to be mistaken for the girls’ grandmother as I waft around the kiddy pool in this flowing cascade of chiffon.

Mumabulous Mum tent.

Would any fashion post be complete without footwear? Why is that even a question? Here are my brand spanking new Mary Janes from Shoes of Prey.  You can see I’m taking my style cues from my five and a half year old. Pink and silver all the way.

I heart you MJ.

Ladies, no matter what your personal style groove happens to be – hot n’ sexy, sleek and stylish, free-range and feral or retro and rockabilly I hope you’re rocking your look just for you.

Get your glam on.

Mumabulous


The Surprise Beginning


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So Frocked Up

Sometimes a blogger has to reach for the low hanging fruit and the fruit doesn’t hang much lower than entertainment industry award ceremonies. The silly season leading up to the Oscars kicked off today with the Emmy Awards. It was nirvana for fashionistas and celebrity addicts alike. Undoubtedly social media is going haywire, deconstructing every red carpet ensemble. The world doesn’t need yet another Emmy’s fashion blog post. But hey – Mumabulous doesn’t need another piece of Lindt chocolate but I’m sure as hell going to have it anyway.

Here are some of the highlights for me.

Sophia Vergara

Ariel called. She wants her tail back.

Six innocent mermaids died so one Latino diva could look fishy on the red carpet. The fashion police panned this frock. It was relegated to worst dressed lists all over the web. I don’t think its that bad. Perhaps on a lesser mortal it would have been a disaster but Sophia has the chutzpah to carry it off. She’s like the bride of Neptune. It reminds me of what the Swedish exchange student wore to our year 12 formal. Her head to toe emerald sequins out blinged my ruffled green taffeta. ( It was 1988!).

Lucy Liu

C3PO is getting excited.

In an episode of Futurama Lucy Liu is featured as a sexy robot gone rogue. Its therefore fitting that she should wear this. As Zack Brannigan said in the aforementioned program ” Now there’s a wave of destruction that’s easy on the eye”.

Christina Hendricks

You dont expect to find so much curvy goodness in your lunch bag.

I am a Mad Men freak and therefore a big fan of Christina Hendricks. Not only is she one of the most beautiful women in the world, she’s a very handy actress. However this is not her finest red carpet moment. She looks like she’s wearing a wet paper bag. I’m sure most men would love to see her fight her way out of it. Mind you she still looks smokin’.

Julianna Margulies

From living room to red carpet?

Is it just me or does Julianna look like she’s wearing sofa upholstery? Looks like she’s raided my grandmother’s sitting room. On the positive I love the colors and her skin is amazing.

Ashley Judd

Don’t tell the bride.

The fashion critics tore this one to bits with gleeful savagery. It reminds me of a bridesmaid dress I wore back in 1997. I was wearing a similar amount of hair lacquer too. It took days to get it out. I’d imagine Ashley’s shampooing her hair for the hundredth time instead of schmoozing at an after party right now.

Lena Dunham

Too Mumsy even for Mumabulous

This is the only Emmy’s frock that I would describe as a “shocker”.  Lena Dunham is the creator and star of the HBO series Girls. She’s 26. Sadly this dress would be better suited to Susan Boyle who is 51.

Padma Lakshmi

A sunrise woven into fabric.

This is my favorite. This woman looks breathe taking. The color reminds me of the sun rise over the ocean. This is not something that I need to be reminded of as I’m seeing it every morning when the sun blazing through the window at 5 freaking 30. Still this dress is divine and just perfect for Padma’s exquisite skin tone.

What were your Emmys  frock picks? Does posting about this kind of thing make me a shallow and vacuous person? If yes, is that a good thing?

Get glamorous girls.

Mumabulous

 


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Fashion Week (Weak) – Mumabulous Style.

On daycare days Mumabulous needs only the flimsiest of excuses to visit the cultural mecca that is Westfield Bondi Junction (WBJ). Today this blog provided me with all justification I needed for a trip to shopping heaven (or hell depending on your mood). If you hadn’t noticed the ubiquitous billboards, next week Sydney celebrates the Mercedes Benz Fashion Festival (21 – 25th August). This promises to be an orgy of glitz, glamour, spike heels and pre-pubescent models without saddle bags.

As you know, Mumabulous is all about style! I hold my self up as a stellar example of What Not To Wear and am the perfect example of the “before” shot.  If any one can take you from runway to real way its yours truly. So to mark Mercedes Benz Fashion week I’m holding my own Mum friendly version – Mumabulous’ Mazda 2 Fashion Weak!  This will be a series of posts documenting my WBJ Fashion Odyssey. Today I’m taking a closer look at that clash of the retail titans – Target vs David Jones.

Its simply marvelous how the high end and  low end of couture  can be housed in one glittering facility. My first stop was Target as its my natural habitat and its closest to the food court.  Fuelled by a most excellent cappuccino from Luxe Bar, I sheepishly wandered in and began furtively snapping away.  I soon released that the widely spread staff were oblivious to my activities and I went for it like a paparazzi at a celebrity court case.

Here are just some of the highlights.

TARGET

The oncoming season is a delicious explosion of gelato colours and Target is right on trend. You can cheer up your bottom line for $39 with these apricot and lemon pants.

Yummy apricot and lemon colours

Alternatively you can unleash your inner rock goddess with these snake skin print jeans. Phwoar!!! Just stay away from my husband you sexy Mama!

Get your rock on!

The Mad/Men retro look remains a key influence (as it should in my opinion). Target does some pretty sun dresses so you can do your best Betty Draper impersonation on a budget. This was $59.

I’m mad for the Mad Men look.

The floral suit is absolutely everywhere. Whilst I find it a refreshing alternative to stiff corporate grey, I’m not sure about this ensemble.  If I tried to squeeze my flabby thighs into these hot pants I’d be more of a eyesore than the “toaster” building – there would be public protests!

Errrm – not sure about this combo…

Perhaps I’d be better off with these?

Coming to a Bingo hall near you.

Finally it wouldn’t be a trip to Target, if you did not encounter gabardine slacks. There’s nothing that shouts  “Mum” or “Nana” louder than dark gabardine.

Good ol’ gabardine.

DAVID JONES

Its only one floor down but crossing over into David Jones after a foray in Target is like travelling to an exotic foreign land.  DJs is a place where you have to remember to breathe (much like labor) as the shock of viewing price tags can send you into convulsive spasms.

Here’ s one example of the retro style floral sun dress DJ’s style. I snapped it whilst lurking around the Zimmerman rack. It’s lovely isn’t it? Perfect for an afternoon wedding, a day at the races or even teamed with a blazer for the office. $395 thanks. Gag! (Breathe, remember to breathe).

Betty Draper on a splurge.

Here is the DJ’s version of the floral suit. The fabric is silky and sensual and the pattern less garish than the Target number. Unfortunately Mumabulous is  short arse so I’d look like a walking designer sheet set in this and I’d pay around $500 for the privilege.  (More breathing, more breathing).

On trend elegance for the tall and cashed up.

While we are on a floral theme, Mumabulous is famous for her love of cute, prim cardigans. This offering from Seed had me salivating almost as much as if I were watching Michael Fassbender remove his shirt (Ok Ok – I exaggerate here but I lurve, lurve this cardigan). Its $170 – cue the tug of war in my head. Can I justify this when I know it will be on sale in a couple of weeks and I can purchase a knock off for under $50. Predictably good sense prevailed and my wallet remained tightly wadded.

Seed cardigan – money can buy me luuurve. Shame I’m a tight wad!

Finally this is kinda quirky and cute. I’ve got no idea who the designer is and I didn’t dare look at the price tag.  The former stock valuer in me puts it at around$300.  My beautiful 14 year old niece would rock this as hard as an Acca Dacca concert. (Sorry Pen – it aint your birthday present). Come to think of it her slinky Mamma (Hi Cath)  could get away with it too. As for me, I’d  end up looking like a very oddly shaped, dimply pineapple.

It’ll cost you a few pineapples

So concludes Part 1 of the Mazda 2 Fashion Weak. It was a tough slog wandering around WBJ this morning without kids but folks that’s the kind of intrepid reporter I am.

Indulge you passion for fashion.

Mumabulous

I want to make it absolutely clear that this is NOT A SPONSORED POST. However should any brand managers be reading, I am completely corruptible!

The Surprise Beginning