I have a some regular readers who I actually know in real life (IRL). I can count them on the fingers of one hand. The tone of their feedback can be thus summed up;
“I didn’t know you were funny” and “The stuff you write is so out there but its nothing like you. You are so quiet and polite”. They haven’t seen me on a Friday night bender making a twat of myself but its a fair assessment. In real life Brenda keeps Mumabulous on the inside which is as uncomfortable as it sounds. Firstly I don’t often talk or make jokes about things like the The Large Hadron Collider, particle physics and nuclear fusion as I do on the blog. The reasons are threefold – a) most of the people have zero interest in this stuff. They’d assume I’m on drugs when clearly I dont need drugs, b) I’d sound desperately try hard and c) I’d appear an ignoramus to anyone with basic scientific knowledge. So sadly the crumpet that is Prof Brian Cox doesn’t weave his way into my everyday conversation. Its such as shame when there’s stuff like this floating around my interwebs. Nerdom doesn’t get much hotter.
Let’s move from scientific crumpet to crumpet as a general concept. Brenda is not a mobile billboard for baked breakfast products. I don’t pepper my normal discourse with comments like “Phwoar! – that Damien Lewis is a crumpet topped with strawberry jam”. Even though it is an unarguable fact. Nor do I bombard my real friends with faux-vertisements like this. No blog fans – I save this shite for YOU.*
My next admission will shock you to the core. My role as Fassbassador doesn’t extend to real life. I don’t go around Fass-eminating at every opportunity. Could you imagine if I did? Conversations would go like this ;
Friend: Hi. How are you?
Brenda: Oh Fass-tastic. Last time I looked Michael Fassbender was still infeasibly hawt!
Friend: Right. Beautiful day isn’t it?
Brenda: Sure. Everyday is beautiful when Fass is in it. You know why its unseasonably mild? Scientists have proven that heat radiating from Fass is warming the oceans. That’s how infeasibly hawt he is.
Friend: Wrong – its all Channing Tatum! I don’t want to talk to you anymore!
Unfortunately for you guys this blog is the only place I can vent my Fass-tration.
One thing that Brenda and Mumabulous have in common is our passionate advocacy for Rangas. From the moment I laid eyes on Eric Stolz I decreed natural red hair to be the most desirable physical trait a human could have. I was alarmed by claims that red heads would become extinct by 2060 and vowed to do my utmost to preserve the species. On the fateful evening when I met Dadabulous ( exactly 9 years ago to this day*), he had the most glorious cascade of shoulder length red curls. It was tied back in a cheeky pony tail and teamed with a navy bomber jacket and boots. We sank red wine, discussed New Scientist magazine and he paid for everything. Single ‘Abulous was finished.
I am very proud to have co-created two beautiful girls with locks like rose gold and feel great satisfaction from having done my bit for the ginger race.
Meanwhile reports of impending ranga annihilation were proven false. Red heads will be with us beyond the next millennium which is a blessing for human kind. Could you imagine a world without -
Heck I’ll even admit to fancying post Harry Potter Rupert Grint even though its extremely age inappropriate.
But this is taking things way too far.
Of course, there are many things going on in Brenda’s life that Mumabulous can’t touch. Office life and family relations could feed the blog for at least a year. Unfortunately Brenda needs to keep these things running smoothly over the long term so Mumabulous is banned from the territory. If Brenda does get fired or has a family fall out, Mumabulous wont be to blame. Meanwhile Brenda and Mumabulous will both try to keep you entertained. If we ever met in person Brenda is bound to be quiet and polite at least until three standard drinks are consumed. Only then will Mumabulous break free of her leash.
How about you? How much does your blog reflect who you really are? Do your friends have trouble reconciling the shizz you put on the interwebs and the quiet sweet girl they know? What happens when you meet other bloggers IRL?
Meanwhile I’ll leave you with the immortal words of Split Enz – “When my baby’s walking down the street. I see red, I see red, I see red”.
Mumabulous & Brenda
* This really is for YOU. I don’t like brand Beckham. Well I guess he is kind of acceptable if he just stands there and says nothing.
* April 29th is the 9th anniversary of my first date with Dadabs.
* From the movie Memphis Belle which I may have watched more than once.
* Hey Melbourne Mum – Down girl. Down!