When Hell Crusts Over

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Mumabulous was in her own private  hell this morning. It was a kindy day. A day when I usually spring out of bed singing. On Thursdays and Fridays, I can steal a few precious hours to myself inbetween the grocery shopping, the house cleaning and gym. The time is usually spent lingering over a large skinny cappucino in one of the many fine local establishments. Today as I have a cold ( the same god forsaken cold that everyone seems to have ), all I wanted to do was close the door behind me for an interlude with Don Draper and a bottomless cup of tea.

Aaah – that’s more like it.


Alas. When I did the daycare pickup yesterday, my arrival was heralded by P1 vomitting. P2’s condition was arguably worse with greeny gray goop oozing from both eyes. Conjunctivitis – there’s no hiding it. The poor little mite’s face was swollen up like she’d done a round with Mike Tyson. Her cheeks were crusted over with a veneer of thick green residue. She would not let me near her with a cloth for operation clean up. The shrieks of protest were so loud I feared a neighbour might call DoCS. Ditto for the eye drops.

Just like P2’s face


There was no choice but to keep them home. Any extravagant plans I had of taking a little time out to rest were dashed. The girls treat me like a five star concierge service at the best of times but this morning it was demand upon demand upon demand. Muuuum – I’m thirsty, Muuuuum I want a DVD, Muuuum I want my dummy, not that dummy – the red dummy, Muuuum I want puta, Muuuum I’m bored, ad nauseam. It was certainly adding to my nauseam. Whilst I diligently fufilled their every wish, they completely refused to do anything I asked of them.  Nothing unusaul there but illness made it degrees of magnitude more difficult to take. It was 11 o’clock by the time I had showered and dressed. By then after overdosing on cups of tea but still suffering severe cappucino withdrawal symptoms, I pondered the medicinal qualities of red wine.  Was it out of line to medicate before noon?

Erm – cough serum


By the day’s end our misery was still crusted on and I still wanted to curl up in a warm corner but we had survived. On reflection the princesses have been remarkably well. We’ve had none of the late night dashes to emergency,  glue ear, bronchitis, or peanut allergies that some of my mumrades have had to endure. When I do get my shot of red wine elixier, I’ll drink to good health.

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