Mumabulous is a terrible person. I got a laugh from someone else’s misfortune today. According to the ninemsn website, a Sydney man who understandably didnt wis,h to be identified, sold his car last Saturday for $15,000. For reasons unexplained he wanted to hide the cash bounty from his wife. Perhaps feared she would race straight to the local Westfield. Anyway this genius came up with the perfect hiding spot – the oven. Apparently she never uses it, so believed this kitchen appliance would be the domestic equivalent of a Swiss bank account.
Not so much! Wednesday rolled around and the unsuspecting wife switched on the oven to heat up some chicken nuggets for the family. How she missed a great wad of cashola sitting in there remains a mystery. Needless to say she was quick to notice the clouds of billowing smoke spewing from the oven door. Talk about having money to burn – wokka, wokka, wokka. I couldn’t wait to tell Dadabulous this tale of woe because it makes an unfortunate incident where I accidently burned his irreplacable map of the Paris metro teatowel seem trivial.
This sorry episode reminded me of the old joke – Question : Where do you hide a five pound note from a Pom? Answer : Under the soap. – tish boom.* It also got me wondering if I had a hypothetical boxload of cash how could I best conceal it from Dadabulous. The solution was immediately obvious. It would be as invisible as dark matter to him in the washing machine. In the seven years that we have lived together he might have done one load of washing. By extension, he has rarely folded or put away any clean washing so the girls’ wardrobes should also be a safe bet. He’ll never volunteer to dishes so under the kitchen sink would be another secure option. To be fair, should he wish to secrete somthing from me, he need only place it under the ironing board. I havent used it for so long I’m not even sure where it is . The next best choice would be under the wheelie bin, as taking the garbage out is strictly his “husbandly duty”.
Where would you safely stash your $15,000?
* To all my lovely friends from the UK – I don’t think you smell. Anyways I am sure you have told worse jokes about Aussies.