Getting My Olympic Mojo Back

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Mumabulous loves Roy and HG but I’m not totally on board with their catch cry “too much sport is barely enough”. To me too much sport is too much sport. The current Olympic games has carried on for 11 days only registering as the faintest blip on my radar. Back in the BC (before children) era, a limited interest in sport was no barrier to becoming an expert in all things Olympic. Offices would feature a huge plasma screen pumping out highlight after highlight and statistic after statistic 12 hours a day. Water cooler conversations focused on little else. Absorbing Olympic trivia was as rudimentary as absorbing oxygen.

I blame the timezones for my current lack of Olympic mojo. These days I stay up late for no man – not for Dadabulous, not for Don Draper, not even for Fassy (Michael Fassbender). I’ve neglected reading up on it due to more pressing priorities like producing juvenile waffle on this blog. I could happily ignore the whole shebang but for P1. Her daycare centre is all about the Olympic spirit right now. There has been a surge of Olympic themed craft activities.  The kids have been asked to bring in pictures of athletes (wholesome ones) and they are even holding their own mini games at the end of the week. P1 is completely captivated. Infact she’s been asking if she can watch the games each evening. My lack of knowledge on the subject must make me seem a complete ignoramus to her. (Better get used to that feeling). All I have managed to glean so far is that;

1) Australia is not doing so well. We’re smashing glass windows rather than world records.

2) There is a swimmer called James Magnussen who is, in the words of Derek Zoolander ” really, really ridiculously good looking”. If God is a woman he’ll be modelling Bonds under wear soon.

3) Leisel Jones has a very slightly rounded tummy and its time to collectively get over it.

 

Would you rather I put up a photo of Leisel’s tummy?

 

In the interests of better parenting I’ve turned to the Twittersphere to kick start my Olympic mojo. Here’s a juicy selection of my findings.

Samuel L Jackson on Twitter

He tweets like his Pulp Fiction character!

“Like I said before, those BRITS are some PEDALIN’, RECORD BREAKIN’, MUTHACYCLINPHUCCAS!! Congrats UK!”

Translation – The UK cycling team have broken a world record.

“PHELPS WALKS em’ DOWN!!! Came & got that ASS! OLYMPIC RULER!! Last race Maggie!! MOSTMUFFAQUATICPFUQQAH of ALL TIME! GOLD!!! Go USA!”

Translation – Michael Phelps won his last race to become the most successful Olympic swimmer of all time.

“Did that Russian just do the “whoa Gurl Whut wuz in That Drank, dat Shit wuz Skrong” Vault landing?!”

Translation – The female Russian gymnast appeared intoxicated. ( I think that’s what he meant, I’m not fluent in Jacksonese)

Samuel L Jackson loves some MuffaFaqqing Twitter

NBC delayed the telecast of Usain Bolt’ s 100m final

The US TV network NBC delayed screening Usain’s Bolts historic race in order to show it in prime time. This outraged folk with nothing better to do and spawned a handful of snide Tweets.

“Usain Bolt ran from London to NY in time to watch NBC show his race. #Bolt #NBCFail ” –  from Lou Brutus
“It took less time for Curiosity to broadcast back from Mars than it did for NBC to broadcast Usain Bolt’s race. Oh, the humanity” – from Bill Walton

Usain after the Bolt.

The Biff is Back!!!
Just prior to Bolt’s race, some wally in the crowd hurled a plastic bottle onto the track.  As luck would have it  the bottle chucker just happened to be sitting next to Edith Bosch a former judo world champion. Naturally she decked him earning herself a PR gold.  Games organizer Sebastian Coe is quoted as saying “It was poetic justice that they did that sitting next to a judo player. I think the expression is ‘Ippon’,” referring to the highest score a fighter can earn in judo”.

Edith Bosch – A lady you don’t want to mess with!

Nominative determinism
Much to the delight of the social media users, nominative determinism is a key feature of the London games. This tweet from Paul Eacott sums it up perfectly.
“After Bo the archer, the cyclists called Wong Wai and Rich Fellers the equestrian, the faller in the 400m hurdles was called Stambolova.”

Stambolva stumbles over.

More athletes with funny names
Well I found it amusing.

I childishly amused by this.

And this.

Boris Johnson wins comedic gold
Not only can the mayor of London do slapstick, ( he got stuck on a wire attempting to ride a zip line into a fancy party in Victoria Park), he’s good for some witty one-liners.
On the extra-curricular sexual activities in the London 2012 Olympic Village…”“Inspire a generation” is our motto. Not necessarily “Create a generation” … which is what they sometimes get up to in the Olympic village.”

On TeamGB’s slow start to its home Olympic Games…”I think we are showing great natural restraint and politeness as host nation in not hoarding the medals more so far.”

Boris Johnson and Kitten Kong

Australian athletes really are heroes

While the medal count in significantly down, our athletes are still doing us proud. Apparently two Australian distance runners rescued a dog stranded in the River Medway. The dog just happened to belong to prominent games organizer Jonathan Stephens. Awwww. That’s the Aussie spirit for you. Always springing into action to help a mate in a fix.

How are you getting your Olympic mojo on?

Happy viewing sports lovers

Mumabulous

 

2 thoughts on “Getting My Olympic Mojo Back

  1. Thank goodness we don’t have to watch any actual sport now that Twitter can summarize it for us. My Miss 4 is still having nightmares about the opening ceremony so I haven’t pushed the spectating too hard with her. Miss 5’s school class made cellophane torches and lapped the oval which was pretty cute. I suspect her lasting memories will be of days like that rather than anything medal-related.

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