Mumabulous loves Roy and HG but I’m not totally on board with their catch cry “too much sport is barely enough”. To me too much sport is too much sport. The current Olympic games has carried on for 11 days only registering as the faintest blip on my radar. Back in the BC (before children) era, a limited interest in sport was no barrier to becoming an expert in all things Olympic. Offices would feature a huge plasma screen pumping out highlight after highlight and statistic after statistic 12 hours a day. Water cooler conversations focused on little else. Absorbing Olympic trivia was as rudimentary as absorbing oxygen.
I blame the timezones for my current lack of Olympic mojo. These days I stay up late for no man – not for Dadabulous, not for Don Draper, not even for Fassy (Michael Fassbender). I’ve neglected reading up on it due to more pressing priorities like producing juvenile waffle on this blog. I could happily ignore the whole shebang but for P1. Her daycare centre is all about the Olympic spirit right now. There has been a surge of Olympic themed craft activities. The kids have been asked to bring in pictures of athletes (wholesome ones) and they are even holding their own mini games at the end of the week. P1 is completely captivated. Infact she’s been asking if she can watch the games each evening. My lack of knowledge on the subject must make me seem a complete ignoramus to her. (Better get used to that feeling). All I have managed to glean so far is that;
1) Australia is not doing so well. We’re smashing glass windows rather than world records.
2) There is a swimmer called James Magnussen who is, in the words of Derek Zoolander ” really, really ridiculously good looking”. If God is a woman he’ll be modelling Bonds under wear soon.
3) Leisel Jones has a very slightly rounded tummy and its time to collectively get over it.
In the interests of better parenting I’ve turned to the Twittersphere to kick start my Olympic mojo. Here’s a juicy selection of my findings.
Samuel L Jackson on Twitter
He tweets like his Pulp Fiction character!
“Like I said before, those BRITS are some PEDALIN’, RECORD BREAKIN’, MUTHACYCLINPHUCCAS!! Congrats UK!”
Translation – The UK cycling team have broken a world record.
“PHELPS WALKS em’ DOWN!!! Came & got that ASS! OLYMPIC RULER!! Last race Maggie!! MOSTMUFFAQUATICPFUQQAH of ALL TIME! GOLD!!! Go USA!”
Translation – Michael Phelps won his last race to become the most successful Olympic swimmer of all time.
“Did that Russian just do the “whoa Gurl Whut wuz in That Drank, dat Shit wuz Skrong” Vault landing?!”
Translation – The female Russian gymnast appeared intoxicated. ( I think that’s what he meant, I’m not fluent in Jacksonese)
NBC delayed the telecast of Usain Bolt’ s 100m final
The US TV network NBC delayed screening Usain’s Bolts historic race in order to show it in prime time. This outraged folk with nothing better to do and spawned a handful of snide Tweets.
On TeamGB’s slow start to its home Olympic Games…”I think we are showing great natural restraint and politeness as host nation in not hoarding the medals more so far.”
Australian athletes really are heroes
While the medal count in significantly down, our athletes are still doing us proud. Apparently two Australian distance runners rescued a dog stranded in the River Medway. The dog just happened to belong to prominent games organizer Jonathan Stephens. Awwww. That’s the Aussie spirit for you. Always springing into action to help a mate in a fix.
How are you getting your Olympic mojo on?
Happy viewing sports lovers