Oh Prince Harry! You might be the third in line to the British throne but you’re not the Messiah – you’re a very naughty boy! Throughout your exuberant youth, I just knew you would inspire the headline “Dirty Harry” more than once. This time you’ve outdone your Uncle “Randy Andy”. He was content with briefly dating a porn star. You young man seem intent on becoming one.
Prince Harry provided the world with a good belly laugh this week when photos of him cavorting naked with a group of “hot babes” in a Las Vegas surfaced on the TMZ website. Apparently he was losing (or winning depending on your perspective) a round of strip billiards when he was photographed on one of his companion’s iPhone hanging on to his pool cue. Well, if I had been in the same luxury hotel suite, I’d be snapping away like a paparazzi on speed too. (Is description redundant?)
The Royals are said to be mortified. Harry is bound to be on the receiving end of a very stern talking to. I just wonder who is going to deliver this lecture. His father Prince Charles is in no position to lay down the law. Harry could respond by pointing out that being pictured nudie rudie with a bunch of attractive young women is considerably less embarrassing than being recorded telling Camilla that you’d” like to be her tampon”. His grandfather Prince Philip’s authority is undermined by his own shopping list of racist gaffes. Older brother Prince William with his squeaky clean record, is the perfect candidate to wag the proverbial finger. However I’m sure he’d just laugh and call Harry whatever the posh equivalent of a “boofhead” is. The job, it seems will land squarely on the Queen’s lap. Wouldn’t you like to be a fly on the wall during that conversation?
In damage control mode the Palace sent out a legal memorandum forbidding the UK press from publishing the infamous photos. It was a case of too little too late. Pretty much everyone one the planet with internet access has seen and admired them by now. Infact I’m sure the snaps even raised a chortle on the Space Station. Anyhow the British press is not known to let a small matter like a Royal ban stand in the way of a salacious story. Instead The Sun published a mock up where two staff editors posed nude to re enact the scene. Unfortunately the dude looked nothing like Dirty Harry – he was a brunette with a slight paunch. ( We could do a better job here at Chez ‘Abulous as my gorgeous red headed husband bears a passing resemblance to the Prince – that is if Harry had been zapped by a shrinking ray and aged forward 17 years). Perhaps motivated by the unconvincing nature of their mock up, The Sun went ahead and published the photos regardless claiming it was in the public interest to do so. Well of course it is! The public is extremely interested, especially the bored housewife demographic.
Other publications resorted to publishing cartooned versions of the incident. In the interests of journalism, I’ve sketched out my own impression. Please make allowances for my poor drawing skills. Its been many years since art and I last had a dalliance.
Thank you Prince Henry Charles Albert David. You and your sparkly ruby red crown jewels have certainly brightened my week.
Carry on cavorting you irrepressible cad!