I’m imagining myself in a sharp man style suit, tangoing with an old fashion wireless microphone. I’m backed by shirtless hunks, staring blankly into the distance as they make a pantomime of playing their guitars. I belt out ” Oh oh oh you like to think that you’re immune to the stuff. Oh Yeh!! Listen to the truth and say you can’t get enough and your gunna’ have to face your addicted to …. blogs”.
I confess that’s my theme song. Friends my name is Brenda and I’m a blogo’holic. Ever since I started this humble project back in June, I’ve needed a mental crow bar to prize my butt from the office chair and my fingers off the key board. One quick glance at my stats is all I need to become hooked for the day.
Do you also suffer from this very 21st century affliction? Here are 10 signs that you too are addicted to blogs and need to be sent straight into digital detox.
* You view your life through the prism of the blog. You constantly have thoughts like “how can I turn this nappy change into an amusing anecdote”? Or “could I post a photo of my laundry pile Mrs Woog style”?
* You go places and do things specifically so you can blog about the experience.
* Your bladder may be bursting, stomach rumbling and throat parched but you just can’t help checking your stats one last time.
* Your frustration levels spike when the kids moan that they are hungry. They’re keeping you away from your blog.
* You experience a narcotic high every time you get a new follower or Facebook liker.
* You participate in a different blog link up for every day of the week and three or four on Fridays.
* Your almost three year old is literally ripping the mouse from your hand but this doesn’t stop you from posting yet another facile comment on WoogsWorld even though she never ever replies.
* Actually you’ve spammed Mrs Woog on more than one occasion and fear that this the reason she never ever replies. The sad truth is you probably haven’t registered on her radar.(Woogdar?)
* You have thoughts like “If Mrs Woog did a post like the one I’m doing now she’d get a gazillion hits – why cant the online world wake up to my particular genius?”
* You stalk other bloggers relentlessly and even notice when they start using each others turn of phrase.
and finally the definitive sign that you are a hopeless blogo ‘holic.
* The first thing you do in the morning is check your stats.
Would you admit to any of these? Perhaps you’ve got some symptoms of your own that you’d like to add. If the answer is yes its time to switch off the computer, iPad or iPhone before your friends stage an intervention – that is if you have any “real life” friends left.