Doing My Head In


Recently, I’ve written some saccharin posts extolling the virtues of my girls and how fortunate I am to have them. This is undoubted true. I count my blessings everyday however this doesn’t mean they don’t completely do my head in. So faithful readers (I know that there are 10s of you), in the interests of preventing nausea from excess sugar, here’s a little sour to offset the sweet.

Cake – a metaphor for motherhood – sweet but messy!

My head is so done in I’m amazed I even have a head left. It should have collapsed on itself like an Easter egg in the sun by now. I’m ready to drown myself in a bottle of cheap sauvigon blanc (as its all we have left) and its only Monday afternoon.

My girls have an innate ability to make the simplest of tasks near impossible. They are unable to follow basic commands like “get dressed now please” or “we are going now!” Easy phrases like “could you please wait five minutes” or ” I cant do two things at once” seem to escape comprehension despite being repeated several times a day. Its odd because they have an otherwise good grasp of language. They certainly have no problems expressing their displeasure, particularly at meal times.

P2 thinks she can dance but she cant follow instructions.

Lunch today, for instance was an ordeal with both of them wailing in unison. The reason – I had dared to serve them home made chicken soup. Heck – somebody call DoCS! They had happily eaten it yesterday but apparently having the same lunch two days in a row is beyond the pale. No wonder they nick name P1 Elizabeth Taylor at kindy! Before she begrudgingly picked at her food my mini diva cried that she was cold. Really?  Its a 25C day in Sydney. “Well you can go upstairs and get yourself a jacket”. I responded. “But my legs are tired”. When I wittily retorted “well so are mine” she tried to order her sister to do it. Surprisingly that tactic didn’t work so well.

Getting into the car is another daily struggle. P2 has perfected the art of avoiding  her seat. She squeezes herself into the space between the two front seats where she cant easily be reached from any of the doors. Snug in this haven she laughs at me. When she finally capitulates and sits down she often wants to secure the seat belt herself. The problem is that she hasn’t the coordination to do it properly and refuses my help. There’s ten more minutes of our day down the drain.

At ages 5 and nearly 3, the girls already view Chez ‘Abulous as a 5 star hotel (isnt that supposed to start during the teenage years?) with me as the chief concierge, butler and house keeper rolled into one. Their demands must be serviced around the clock. This afternoon they requested that I serve them lychees whilst they reclined watching Bugs Bunny. After they denuded two tins of the exotic fruit, I was ready to drain the left over juice and make a Lychee Martini. Pass the vodka now please!

Anyone fancy a Lychee Martini? – I know I do.

By far the most frustrating aspect is computer time. I live in a kid-tatorship and they decree when I get to use my PC.  This afternoon I bowed to P2’s request for a DVD. No sooner had I settled down to my email than she had wandered upstairs wanting to play Bunny Town on Disney Jnr. You would think I’d be able to leave her to it and get on with (joy of joys) the housework. You’d be wrong. P2 is right across the iPad but the mouse is beyond her. I have to sit there playing to her instructions losing IQ points with every click. I came close to completely losing it when I was attempting to answer a business email and she pounced on my lap demanding to look at the Disney Princesses. Getting a spare five minutes to answer an important email was too much for Mumabulous to ask for.

Wont you take me to Bunny Town….

Surely Mumrades you feel my pain. I cant be suffering along here. How are your kids doing your head in?

Stay Sane



P1 aka The Messinator. She’s turned my bedroom into a “Winter Wonderland”

No prizes for guessing who’ll be cleaning that up.

26 thoughts on “Doing My Head In

  1. How long have you got?

  2. “kidatorship” – love it! Please excuse the blatant self promotion but you and I have got some seriously similar issues going on with whinging kids. Great post.

  3. Ha I could write a book everyday!! Our latest is a 3 year old who finally wants to dress himself but cannot be told his pants are on backto front or his t shirt is inside out!!

  4. I enjoy repeating phrases like “It’s a couch not a playground” or “Get your undies off the baby’s head” over and over until my head explodes. You are certainly not alone!

  5. The never ending questions and asking for things drive me nuts. Rachel xx

    #TeamIBOT was here

  6. im pretty sure it wasnt meant to… but this made me laugh. Especially as she was sitting on the computer desk (?!) looking SO innocent heh heh

  7. oh I hear you!!! The questions, the rebellious nature that you know is going to be there when they are 16… the refusal to toilet train…

    #teamIBOT was here to say hello 🙂

  8. If they aren’t doing your head in, you probably need to see a dr, cos there must be something wrong with YOU! And if they aren’t doing your head in, you aren’t parenting right….so take a big sip of ‘congratulations on a job well done’.
    My head doing issue is the 5 mins to 8am comment “oh, I have to be at school at 8 this morning” by one of the 3, leaving me with 2 kids still not dressed…hmmmmmmmm

  9. My girls do my head in every single day. I was under the impression that things would settle down once they got a little older and started playing together more (they are 14mo and 2.9yr at the mo). Reading this has scared me! *weeps*

  10. hah I can relate to all of the above comments!
    My kids seem to have teamed up recently. I used to be able to have at least one child I could look at. Now they are an evil force, ready to take me down anytime of day or night.
    All kidding aside, I love them very much and can’t wait until the are old enough for me to do it back.

  11. Oh yes! They all have their moments… even Master 17 who moved out of home. Right now it’s Miss 10 I’m happy to give away! xx

  12. Oh yes sir…. I have plenty of these moments… you are not alone… arrgghh!!

  13. The Winter Wonderland concept is gorgeous – I’m sure it took mere seconds to clear away?!

  14. I’m stuck on lychee martini! That sounds good!

  15. Little cheeky monkeys 🙂 The rule in my house are that I am not allowed to wear my mauve fluffy dressing gown, or any dressing gown for that matter, when I get up. It’s so unfair! I am cold, and yet if I so much as reach for the cupboard to get my dressing gown, our little boss puts her foot down. Where do they get these ideas!
    Considering how strong willed our daughter is, we generally have a pretty harmonious time. I’ll check in with you when I have two. x

  16. Oh I hear you. Miss 5 has become quite demanding and obstinate of late and rather than dread her starting school next year I am now counting down the days with glee.
    Master 15 months was one of those babies that slept 10-12hrs a night from 6 weeks, devoured his bottles and solid feeds, was content to just sit or lay on the floor without complaint but in the last 6 or 8 weeks he has turned into a monster. He gave up day time naps yet makes everyone else miserable with his tiredness. He sits on my laptop to stop me from using it and if that doesn’t work piles toys and washing on my lap until I close the lid and give him my undivided attention.

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