In 2008 a new style bible exploded on the scene – How To Not Look Old by Charla Krupp. This tome of wit and wisdom advocates, lightening your hair, bleaching your teeth, brow plucking, constricting yourself, bondage style into shape wear and botoxing the be-jeepers out of your face. It is basically an instruction manual on how to look like Charla Krupp. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Charla Krupp looks great. Its just that if everyone followed her sage advice we would all look like the inhabitants of info-mercials and morning TV. Designer sunglasses would become mandatory to protect us from the glare of everyone’s dazzling white teeth. Its not the kind of world I want to live in.
A year or two back I kidded myself that I could somehow postpone aging and Charla’s work was of profound interest. Mind you I was not interested enough to spend Dadabulous’ hard earned. I borrowed the book from the local library. Unfortunately I couldn’t get through it. I found myself increasingly irritated by her insinuation that I needed Spanx and a high end hairdresser. Despite all the money, time and effort we put it, we will all one day look old and that sure as hell beats looking dead. In a recent post I spoke about my intention of morphing into a groovy granny or a senior hippizen. I fully intend leaving sexy on the shelf and bringing quirky back. Now firmly entrenched in middle age I have taken the first baby steps on this journey towards disgraceful aging.
I present the following items as evidence for the prosecution your Honor.
Red Vans sneakers. Chase toddlers, go anywhere with happy feet.
A hat that will take me from the beach to the bowling green.
Over sized sunglasses. Who needs botox when you can cover crows feet with fabulousness? They also conceal shameless perving at gorgeous men young and old.
The bedazzled kaftan. This item is de rigueur for an eccentric old bat on the beach.
The retro cardigan. The cardigan is the most unfairly maligned garment in the fashion universe. How cute is this Mary Poppins print?
Vintage leather jacket. I picked this up from the Randwick Vintage Clothing fair. Its a genuine 1970s leather jacket. If I ever wanted to be an extra on the TV series Life On Mars this is what I’d wear. It makes me feel too cool for school.
And finally Exhibit G
A butterfly print wrap dress. I recently purchased this at the mecca to drippy hippidom – Tree of Life. A senior hippizen could easily be outfitted by that store alone. I cant wait to flutter by in this.
Being middle aged and married is surprisingly liberating. I can wear what I want because heck nobody cares (if they ever really did). Freed from the shackles of having to be a smokin’ hawt babe, I can have fun with clothes just like my girls do.
Charla Krupp has been permanently consigned to the library shelf to be replaced by a new Bible – the wonderful megablog (dare I say Blog Buster) Advanced Style (http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com.au/)
Over to you Mumrades. Are you still still rocking the sexy or enjoying the descent into old age like a fair ground slippery slide?