Great Mysteries

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The extent of human knowledge is truly mind boggling. Boffins can tell us the size and chemical composition of exo planets orbiting distant stars hundreds of light years away. On the other end of the spectrum, egg heads have broken matter down to its smallest components. We can put robots on Mars, leap from the edge of space and dive to the deepest part of the oceans (at least James Cameron and Richard Branson can) but there are certain things that science is at a total loss to explain. Here are some recent phenomena which stretch the human capacity for understanding to its very limits.

1) High profile men and lewd texting.

Ever since SMS technology went mainstream it has been incriminating high profile men who quite frankly should know better.  I think that science will soon tell us that its basically a neurological problem. Once a man reaches a certain level of public prominence the filter between his brain and his fingers disappears. Peter Slipper is only the most recent example. In my opinion he should be hoisted from parliament on the basis of his stupidity never mind the misogyny. Seriously. Did he think that texting revolting comments comparing lady bits to muscle meat in brine was going to endear him to James Ashby? Did he think he was going to dazzle the pants off young James with his abbreviated wit? Most confounding of all, did he not realize that his sexting was going to come back and bite him on the backside in a MAJOR career damaging way?

Stupidity was taken to the extreme with the Weinergate scandal. I’m sure you’ll recall that US Congressman Anthony Weiner used Twitter to send a photo of wedding tackle to a young woman. This turkey was shocked to find his barely concealed package was all over the interwebs the following day. What did he think was going to happen? It’s truly a case of political power causing neurons to seriously misfire. Moreover it makes me wonder how someone so lacking in common sense could rise to a position of influence in the first place.

Eeeeeeeew Weiner by name, Weiner by dimensions!

Tiger Woods’ shenanigans are easier to explain. Tiger is imbued with a sense of his own godlike status and simply believed he could do whatever he darn felt like without consequence. He was right. His career and bank account have been largely unscathed by his textual indiscretions. Shane Warne’s case on the other hand, defies all logic. It seems the worse his  behavior, the more successful he is in life and love. This allows me to segue neatly into my next modern conundrum;

2) Liz Hurley and Shane Warne

Imagine you are Liz Hurley. You are on the dark side of 45 but nevertheless are still considered one of the world’s most beautiful women. You discard rich and powerful men like Happy Meal figurines. You can pretty much chose anyone you want but who do you go for – Warnie? WTFF? Has Liz not seen the clip that was doing the rounds of the interwebs a few years back. I’m talking about the one where a chubby Warnie is cavorting with two lingerie clad babes and a giant inflatable penis. Its as comical as it is distasteful.  For me its like a permanent cold shower. Warnie deserves to never have sex again. Some say that there’s magic in his wrist and fingers. Lets hope so for Liz’s sake.

Liz gets herself a case of Warnie.

3) Public Outrage at Things That Are Fundamentally Unshocking

I cant fathom the media furor every time some meat headed footballer has a skinful and makes a prize winning arse of himself.  I’m referring to the headlines that follow when  footballers get into a  drunken brawl, pee in the corridor of a hotel or take inappropriate photos with the family dog.  Whilst I don’t condone this behavior,  I’m certainly not shocked by it. After all the football codes are not known for attracting the brightest minds of a generation. These are quickly siphoned off to Google and Macquarie Bank instead.

Similarly I was disconcerted by the amount of controversy Broke Back Mountain provoked. Why was the concept of “gay cowboys” so outrageous to middle America? In my mind the words “gay” and “cowboy” are synonymous. There’s a cowboy in the Village People for crying out loud.

Ride ’em Cowboys!

Do you also find these things incredulous? What else would you add to the list of modern mysteries that continue to dumbfound scientific explanation?

Love

Mumabulous

photo credit: /amf via photopin cc

photo credit: /amf via photopin cc

photo credit: Canadian Veggie via photopin cc

fourlittlepiglets


14 thoughts on “Great Mysteries

  1. Nipple rings. X

  2. Oh I’m laughing, I’m LAUGHING. I don’t know which one of your three is fundamentally the most bizarre. Probably Liz and Shane, but it’s a close race with stupid public figures who can’t get their heads around the fact that texts are forever (right up there with stupid public figures who can’t get their heads around the fact that video is forever). Which really just confirms your number three – why are we even surprised?! You are really very clever, you know. x

  3. yes, please, would love the follow-up, this post rocks. What gets me is the apologies – after the texts have gone viral “I never meant for this to happen; I never meant to hurt anybody” (I just decided to text really hurtful things so that the public could all have a record …).

  4. Awesome post. My great mysteries are a little homecentric – like where do all the lost socks go of a matching pair and is there really a spoon gnome? And who leaves me with one square left of the toilet paper.

    What the Village People are gay?

    Yes, please as Enid says above – a follow up post on world event mysteries would be dandy.

    • I have a theory that odd socks get sucked down a black hole. There is a parallel universe where the fabric of space time is woven from odd socks and my missing sunglasses. Yes believe it or not The Village People are homosexual as was Liberace.
      Love Mumabulous

  5. Thanks for the laugh, Great post! x

  6. Great post. Liz and Warnie just defy all common sense and reasoning,

    I haven’t seen Brokeback Mountain, what am I missing?!

  7. Totally don’t get Liz and Warnie – they do say that love is blind x

  8. Gold! Loved it!
    I totally get Liz being into Warnie. I think he’s a bit of alright myself (for shame!)
    P.S. Dryer lint is the incinerated remains of odd socks!

  9. LOL!
    I don’t get tattooing your entire arm with a 3 line Shakespeare quote and having the rest tattooed on your 20 year old fiancé. Who am I talking about ? Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus. As if that’s relationship’s going to last!
    As for Warnie…he’s had work done to his face, hasn’t he?

  10. Great Post, made me laugh on a day I really needed it. Thanks for Linking up to my Tuesday Tea Party, hopefully we will get more people linking up soon 🙂

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