Small Mysteries

18 Comments

Last Tuesday I published a post entitled Great Mysteries where I spoke about certain modern phenomena which has science scratching its collective head. I promised a follow up and as I am Mumabulous I have delivered. This time I’m turning my attention to some of those smaller household mysteries. Mundane as they are, they still have a big impact as you confront the same conundrums day after day.

The Bermuda Triangle of the House – The Laundry

I like to describe the laundry as the Bermuda Triangle of the house (even though its strictly rectangular in most cases) because so much weird shite goes down in there. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was revealed that washing machines are actually mini Tardii ( whatever the plural of Tardis is ). Heck if the current Dr Who was to pop out when I open the lid washing would be so much more fun. ( How hot is Matt Smith? Hotter than a hot wash cycle? Hotter than a hot iron?)

Actually I would be happy to discover either one in my laundry.

The vanishing sock phenomena has been given ample airplay. My personal theory is that the washing machine is a portal to an alternative universe where the fabric of space time is woven from singleton socks. I had my people call the people at CERN and they agreed to use the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) to replicate conditions in the washing machine immediately after a sock disappearance. And you thought they were trying to re-enact the Big Bang! Pffft  I’m sure this experiment will revolutionize physics. In the meantime there’s another issue that has me discombobulated*.

The LHC may one day solve the mystery of the missing socks.

Its the tissue issue! Every time I attempt to wash Dadabulous’ trackie dakkies a tissue always emerges and covers the entire load with a snow like dusting of white fluff. Every-single-time. Without fail.  Just where is this tissue coming from? Is it entering via a time rift or is it concealed within a secret pouch? Which leads to the next question. Why would Dadabulous have a secret pouch in his trackies? Come to think of it – he looks a bit like Homeland’s Damien Lewis (lucky me). Perhaps he is really a terrorist? Perhaps he is plotting to destroy western civilization one wash load at the time? Nah – I’m going with the time rift. Dadabulous doesn’t sew anything let alone secret pouches.

Missing socks and tissues aren’t the only oddities to contend with in the laundry. We have to remain vigilant against the soap powder boxes. No matter how gingerly you attempt to open the box, its contents always spill out onto the laundry bench like a powdery waterfall. Every-single-time. Without fail. Just why is this? Is laundry powder actually a living organism, which dashes for freedom when it exposed to light. I’m offering up an Ig Nobel prize for the first person to solve this riddle. Are you listening Dr Karl?

A force that can not be contained?

The Car Seat Effect

Have you noticed the strange effect that the car seat has upon your offspring. It seems that there is something about being strapped safely into the seat that triggers 1) ravenous hunger, 2) unquenchable first or 3) a bowel movement. Sometimes all three can hit simultaneously. It happens far too many times to be sheer co-incidence.  I postulate that there’s some kind of bio feed back loop going on.

The mysterious car seat effect.

My Husband’s Abs

Dadabulous is 44 years old. The only exercise he gets is taking the garbage out once a week. Nevertheless he has clearly defined six pack abs as well as bulging biceps. He spends his entire day in front of computer screens – very macho double mons. Whilst it may account for muscular fingers software development is not usually recommended by personal trainers as a quick way of getting “shredded”. I’m not complaining about having a fit looking husband. Actually I am.  Its just not fair!

What kind of weird and wonderful shite is going down in your household? How do you explain it?

Hope you are having a fabulous weekend.

Love

Mumabulous

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18 thoughts on “Small Mysteries

  1. I’ve found a way to muscle in on the omo/cold power/or any other powder combo spilling on the bench! I now open it OVER the washing machine and it rarely, if ever, fights to get out of the packet. I seem to be able to cleanly pour it into a container or scoop it out neatly and nicely because now it can no longer delight in messing up my pretty bench! Ha! Washing Powder I have you licked!!!!!

  2. Missing socks drives me crazy, especially if they are new socks, especially if they are my socks. Where do they go ?!? I like your theory of an alternative universe, wish I lived in that universe sometimes.

  3. Shades of geek-y blogger! Thanks for the picture of the LHC- I’ve never seen it. I’ve never watched Homeland but I love Big Bang Theory. Which of course once referenced the LHC. Socks- sorry I have no answers. As for the mofo tissues, (^$%##%*$@), my husband is definitely the culprit too but WHY do they ONLY happen in DARK LOADS, blast it?!?!

  4. Pens. Pens that work. And pen lids. That is all.

  5. Funny about the laundry. One day I emptied my boys clothes hamper straight into the tub. When the washing finished and I was hanging it out, it was COVERED in white fluffy stuff but not so much tissue like and I thought WTF IS THAT? Then I found the culprit. My 2 yr old had put his disposable nappy in the laundry hamper with his dirty clothes hahahaha

  6. I also have the sock issue – my machine just eats them I am sure of it.

  7. The alternate universe is the only logical explination!! And men have better bodies as they have not spent months growing a tiny human that kicked the crap out of their insides for 9 months. Maybe if they were able to be pregnant things might be a little different in the muffin top/lack of muscles at all in the stomach department!!

  8. Classic. My husband just threw out about 10 pairs of single socks. We have been holding on to them hopefully for years, but nope, no pair to be found! And I know where my hubby’s muscles come from – his afternoon exercise regime takes priority in our house somehow!

  9. Thank you THANK YOU for being discombobulated again. It gives me such pleasure to see that word. Everyone should go around being discombobulated all of the time. And yes – ‘tardii’ – I’m sure of it. Matt Smith has my vote too (not that I watch it, of course. Never).

  10. Oh, I can so relate to the white flecked washing, and yes it’s my hubbys fault, always leaving shopping/atm receipts in his pocket!
    I hate the powder boxes too, I can never open the box in one go, the powder goes everywhere and then I usually have to dig around for the scoop.
    Summer used to think that being strapped in the car means she has to spew a bit of milk on the strap…everytime! Izzy waits til I start the car before she chimes “I need a wee”! Great post, thanks for linking it 🙂

  11. I have not seen the bottom of my ironing basket since 2010. I don’t need to iron most of my clothes, but the basket never ever empties …

  12. Oh yes, I am so with you on the socks, and the escaping laundry powder, awesome post, thanks for linking up to The Tuesday Tea Party

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