Certain pressing matters are creeping up to bite me on the bum. Never mind that they’ll get a mouthful of white wobbly cellulite when they do. Diverting my attention to social media is not going to make them go away.
To start with Halloween is drawing nigh. As sure as our politicians wear arsehats, my girls will need spooky costumes for kindy. In Halloweens past I have decked out my princesses in glorious home made confections. I enjoy seeing my daycare Mumrades shaking their heads and muttering about me “having too much spare time”. This year both P1 and P2 want to be devils which is very fitting. Mind you they don’t want to be any just old devils. They want to be “fashion devils”. I’ll see what kind of magic I can weave with spangly red horny headbands, red t-shirts and rhinestones. We’ll add some tulle and sequins to the mix somewhere.
In the meantime another issue has been racking my poor addled brain. P2’s birthday is fast approaching and I have no idea what to get her. Its a text book case of what to get for the girl who has everything. Chez ‘Abulous has been affected by that most prevalent of first world problems. We have far too much crap. Our theme song comes straight from The Little Mermaid.
I’ve got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I’ve got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs?
I’ve got twenty!
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more
Somehow we’ve managed to accumulate so much junk that it we laid it out end to end it could circle the equator. If we put it all for council clean up our pile would be featured on Google Earth. We’ve got enough stuffed toys to start up an army – if an armada of teddy bears is part of your defense strategy. There’s a zoo load of plastic animals and zu zu pets. We could re-enact the move Jurassic Park with our dinosaur collection. Our duplo supply is large enough to construct a new suburb and our Barbie Doll tribe resembles the first episode of Australia’s Top Model. Lady Ga Ga herself would be dazzled by the Chez ‘Abulous dress up collection and Carrie Bradshaw would sigh in envy at our walk in wardrobes.
I’m thinking of building a float for next year’s Mardi Gras just to use up our art and craft materials. Then there’s the bike, the scooter, the pool toys, the bath toys, the plastic fruit, the tea sets, the books, the dolls houses, the musical instruments and the uber irritating talking electronic stuff. DVDs? I’m sure there’s over a hundred on the media centre hard drive.
I wish I could “forget” about this birthday so as to stem the marching tide of plastic crap. This makes me feel really mean indeed. P2 will have her birthday celebrations but the whole thing will be low key.
Do your kids have a serious excess of toys? Any suggestions about what to get P2?