The Joys of Eavesdropping

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I really don’t mind when Chez ‘Abulous runs out of milk first thing in the mornings. It means I can take a blissful ten minute stroll to our local main drag alone. Its an all too brief interlude where I can enjoy the early morning sunlight over the ocean. Even better still I can grab a cheeky cappuccino on route. Despite the beach being taken over by boot camps there are surprisingly few places open at 6.30am. One particular joint  is always reliable – a smallish nook called JTs. Without fail every time I visit the same lady is propped up on a stool sipping her coffee and yakking – loudly. She’s a MILF sort, immaculately turned out in brand name exercise gear. I dont know her name by piecing together her snippets of conversation with the barista I’ve become quiet au fait with her dating exploits.

Similarly I have garnered way too much information from listening in on conversations at the hairdressers and on public transport. I’ve found that the money sink previously known as Fox Studios is a great place to do some quality eavesdropping given the concentration of pretentious media types in the precinct. If you are like me and simply cant MYOB*, you’re likely to over hear some strange stuff indeed. Here are a couple of snippets that will be forever etched upon my memory.

1) I’m sitting on a bus lurching down King St Newtown on the way to meet a friend at the Bank Hotel. I’m contemplating indulging  in a few too many vodka lime and sodas for a Tuesday night when from the seat behind me I distinctly hear a cheerful male voice ” Man, your girlfriend hates me because I’m a warlock”.  It took all the inner fortitude I had not to turn around at that moment. There were so many questions that needed to be answered. What are the best dressed warlocks in the inner west wearing these days? Why warlocks need public transport? Don’t they have broomsticks or is flying on household cleaning equipment passe? Perhaps the girlfriend in question disliked the dude because of  his complete disconnect from reality.

Something you don’t see on Sydney buses everyday. Even in Newtown.

2) We’re working our way through the crowd at Homebush train station on our way to see the Ben Hur Spectacular (because my husband’s mates love sword and sandals epics). Two fit looking young hipster dudes are meandering just ahead of us. One says to the other ” Mate, mate I swear she wouldn’t leave me alone. But you know what? Turns out she was Germaine Greer”.

Who would have thought that feminism’s most notorious icon is a wannabe cougar? Notch one up for the sisterhood.

Cougar Town?

Here’s one that had Dadabulous sniggering. Two teenage guys were walking back from the beach cigarettes in hand doing the tough macho strut. One of them says to the other “Your Mum is really f%*king hot”.  The other spits out in disgust ” No way man. No f*%king way”. I’m kind of curious about the Mum myself now.

What fascinating things have you overheard recently?

Listen well.

Mumabulous

* Mind your own business

photo credit: APJ Photography via photopin cc

photo credit: Maggie Hannan via photopin cc

6 thoughts on “The Joys of Eavesdropping

  1. Hahaha. I just snorted my tea, both at the warlock and at the Germaine examples. One of my favourite accidental eavesdrops, if you can call it that, was when we went away for the weekend, and returned to hear this gem on our answering machine, in the voice of ‘mature years woman’, all in whispers, at the time of 3AM Sunday morning: “Hi, it’s me. Just thought I’d let you know she had a GIRL. Jasmine! Isn’t that gorgeous.” … I’ve always wondered who Jasmine was … 😉

  2. When I was in the hospital with Squirm, one of the women in the bed next to me (there were three while I was there) had a hilarious mother-in-law who wouldn’t (couldn’t) stop talking. My favourite was her monologue on why Mikhaila was a completely unique name. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I taught one earlier in the year

  3. Warlock eh – I so would have turned around! Lol

  4. Germaine Greer = Queer

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