I really don’t mind when Chez ‘Abulous runs out of milk first thing in the mornings. It means I can take a blissful ten minute stroll to our local main drag alone. Its an all too brief interlude where I can enjoy the early morning sunlight over the ocean. Even better still I can grab a cheeky cappuccino on route. Despite the beach being taken over by boot camps there are surprisingly few places open at 6.30am. One particular joint is always reliable – a smallish nook called JTs. Without fail every time I visit the same lady is propped up on a stool sipping her coffee and yakking – loudly. She’s a MILF sort, immaculately turned out in brand name exercise gear. I dont know her name by piecing together her snippets of conversation with the barista I’ve become quiet au fait with her dating exploits.
Similarly I have garnered way too much information from listening in on conversations at the hairdressers and on public transport. I’ve found that the money sink previously known as Fox Studios is a great place to do some quality eavesdropping given the concentration of pretentious media types in the precinct. If you are like me and simply cant MYOB*, you’re likely to over hear some strange stuff indeed. Here are a couple of snippets that will be forever etched upon my memory.
1) I’m sitting on a bus lurching down King St Newtown on the way to meet a friend at the Bank Hotel. I’m contemplating indulging in a few too many vodka lime and sodas for a Tuesday night when from the seat behind me I distinctly hear a cheerful male voice ” Man, your girlfriend hates me because I’m a warlock”. It took all the inner fortitude I had not to turn around at that moment. There were so many questions that needed to be answered. What are the best dressed warlocks in the inner west wearing these days? Why warlocks need public transport? Don’t they have broomsticks or is flying on household cleaning equipment passe? Perhaps the girlfriend in question disliked the dude because of his complete disconnect from reality.
2) We’re working our way through the crowd at Homebush train station on our way to see the Ben Hur Spectacular (because my husband’s mates love sword and sandals epics). Two fit looking young hipster dudes are meandering just ahead of us. One says to the other ” Mate, mate I swear she wouldn’t leave me alone. But you know what? Turns out she was Germaine Greer”.
Who would have thought that feminism’s most notorious icon is a wannabe cougar? Notch one up for the sisterhood.
Here’s one that had Dadabulous sniggering. Two teenage guys were walking back from the beach cigarettes in hand doing the tough macho strut. One of them says to the other “Your Mum is really f%*king hot”. The other spits out in disgust ” No way man. No f*%king way”. I’m kind of curious about the Mum myself now.
What fascinating things have you overheard recently?
* Mind your own business