A Decent Proposal


On Sunday I published a blog post called Reality Blows where I bemoaned the fact that nothing is as good as it seems on TV or in the movies. https://mum-abulous.com/2012/11/04/reality-blows/  In particular I had an old fashioned bitch about how love and romance never live up to our Hollywood rom-com fueled fantasies. In real life when our leading man gets around to proposing, it’s rarely as spectacular as the extravaganzas we’ve spent years rehearsing in our heads. I was 36 when I finally became engaged and I’d more time than most to concoct lavish scenarios. Sadly they tended to be cliched like the well worn scene atop the Empire State building at midnight on NYE (do they even let you up there then?) whilst fireworks explode around us etc etc.  Poor Dadabulous had his work cut out for him. In the Reality Blows piece I may have given the impression that I was less than satisfied with his efforts. I hate to dis Dadabulous. The proposal was very sweet. The only thing that made it slightly under par was my attire – very cheap trakkie dackies. If I could go back and change anything about the big moment it would be my pants. Here’s what happened.

We had arranged to go on a camping trip with a group of friends who are serious outdoorsy types. I was keen to just chill out in the picturesque bush as we had just completed our first full IVF cycle. In my head the treatment was far more pressing than the formality of getting married. Besides, I thought that should it fail I could let Dadabulous off the hook and free him to find someone else to breed with. Such is the rationale of many women with fertility problems. In any case it soon became a moot point. Dadabulous was completely hooked because the cycle had succeeded.

We left for Crowdy Bay National Park on NSW’s mid north coast the day after receiving the mind blowing news. To say I was freaked right out would have been an understatement. The first three months of any pregnancy is a nerve wracking time but the pressure is amplified for IVF patients. So here I am at the camp site stressing out , trying to act naturally whilst refraining from drinking. A lot of wine goes down around the campfire and my uncharacteristic teetotalling was duly noted by the other women in the group.

The weather on the first morning was dismal. It was cool, windy and drizzling. Our group drove to nearby Port Macquarie while we “manned the fort”. Dadabulous suggested a bush walk so I rugged myself up in a very flattering combo of black trakkies and a navy hooded parker. To add to this picture of glamour, I had declined to shower as there was no hot water on site. We trudged up a narrow bush path to a look out known as Diamond Head  and were rewarded by this lovely vista.

The pristine view from Diamond Head

We relaxed for a moment chatting about trivia when Dadabulous declared. “There’s something I want to ask you”.  “Oh right”. I thought he wanted to know what I’d prefer for dinner or something equally mundane. “Will you marry me?” He reached into his backpack and produced a small brown box. “I know you have certain ideas about the ring, so this is a stand in ring until we can get the real one”. It was an elegant gold band studded with tiny diamonds and emeralds. That sealed the deal and the whole thing was witnessed by this mama.

The witness.

That evening when we made our announcement around the campfire, there were knowing grins from the ladies as they sipped red wine and I didn’t. Back at the office I told my colleagues the news in our morning meeting. I ended my daily sector round up by saying “there’s a new merger going ahead in my sector. D and I got engaged over the weekend”.  When Dadabulous updated his friends by email the cheekiest of the group responded with his congratulations and added that “if the rumors prove to be correct, we’ll be congratulating you again in the near future”. Cats it seems are very difficult to contain in bags.

In case you were wondering I did get my “proper” ring. Its a white gold band with a square cut diamond flanked by two tiny pink Argyle Diamonds. So I got engaged on Diamond Head and got two rings. I never in my wildest fantasies imagined that. I just wish I had been wearing something vaguely decent for this very decent proposal.

How was your big moment and what were you wearing?



For Thankful Thursday at We Heart Life



40 thoughts on “A Decent Proposal

  1. Can’t remember the attire, but it was in the Jardin de Luxembourg in Paris. We were sitting at an outdoor cafe and I was admiring the view. I turned around to discover Husband on bended knee. The correct response would have been unfettered joy, but I was … embarrassed. I hissed that he should “get up off the ground”. He said, “aren’t you going to say yes?” … “yes, now get up off the ground”. In retrospect I kind of regret that … Blew my big romantic moment.

  2. I love your Diamond Head story Brenda. Even in trackies, it’s better than my story of being in bed for the big moment. Not doing anything interesting in bed, mind you, just having a practical, morning breath, sorting out the day kind of chat in bed when husband said “Why don’t we get married…” I guess that’s the price you pay for living with someone first! Our ‘official’ engagement a few days later included a lovely dinner and a city hotel room with priceless views, so that’s probably the part of the story I should tell if anyone asks!

  3. What a great story. Mine was not that eventful but still sweet. It worked 😉

  4. i don’t remember what I was wearing, but it was a Saturday night on the beach at Currumbin on the Gold Coast. He did the knee thing, but we didn’t put the ring on until we were sitting under the lights – didn’t want to lose it in the sand!

  5. A true Australian romance complete with kangaroo. Ooooohhhh! Trying to decide who would be playing the leads in the film.

  6. That is a sweet proposal story! It’s no Empire State Building, but sweet nonetheless. I cannot for the life of me remember what I wore when I was proposed to, but we were at dinner on Valentine’s Day and he made me wait until AFTER dessert. How rude. There was no one knee, just a green box on the table and a nervous smile followed by the obvious question. That was 10 years ago!

  7. What a lovely story!
    Hubby proposed to me by Sydney Harbour on our 1 year anniversary. It was a technicality really because I knew from practically Day 1 that we would be together forever.
    I can’t remember what I was wearing 😦
    Congrats on the IVF baby too. I am 30 weeks pregnant with our little IVF bundle!

  8. Sweet! Mine was equally unglamorous, I waswearing my pj’s in the bathroom just after finishing my business before bed, went to grab my toothbrush and he had stuck the ring on the tooth brush… He was at the other end of the house so I was already waltzing through the kitchen wearing my sparkler before he even asked me.. actually I don’t think he even asked, I just put the ring on and that was it.

    • Diamonds say far more than words. Your hubby gets points for creativity by putting it on the toothbrush. A friend of mine’s husband put the ring in an Old El Paso Taco kit.

  9. I don’t remember what I was wearing! Oh no! That is so a detail that should have been important!

    I love your story. So sweet. I always think it is the happy ending that is important. So.. work on that I say.

  10. aww that is great! my husband proposed the day before valentine’s day (cuz you know, ON valentine’s is cheesey and expected). With a $20 ring that would likely have turned my finger green had I worn it too long – so that I could pick out my own ring. He gave me small diamond stud earrings for Valentine’s day and while I was looking at them, he had got down on one knee and proposed in our living room. NO idea what i was wearing. maybe my PJs?

  11. I’m yet to have my big moment yet. But like you oh I have scenarios in my head!

    I love reading these sort of posts; so a very big thankyou for linking up!

  12. Oh that’s an awesome story! And two rings is even better! 🙂

  13. Pingback: Will you marry me? | housegoeshome

  14. Gorgeous story! No idea what I was wearing but it was over the phone, and felt like a joke. I got my ring later…a vintage sapphire and diamond gold band from Holland. Nevertheless I was dizzy with happiness.

  15. No great story, no idea what I was wearing but I think the never ending story so far has been pretty great…:)

  16. Oh, I love that story … and I got engaged in my tracky-daks too (on the top of Cradle Mountain) … I thought he was going to ask me … and then annoying tourist jumped out from behind a rock and wanted to talk about ‘the climb!’ I thought he would never leave. Then another 6 people finally made it up and so we all had lunch to be sociable – gah! Then after lunch we walked out to the edge of a jutty bit of mountain (alone, thank goodness), and he went to get down on one knee, and I yanked him back b/c I didn’t want him to fall off the edge … so he stepped in a metre or two and then got down again … only then did I realise what I’d just done 🙂

  17. That reality does not bite! Trackies or not! I was at home, had dinner cooked for me, had a million tealight candles lit all around the windowsills of the room, and STILL I suspected nothing. That’s just the kinda romantic guy he is (was ;). He had to unwrap the Veuve and glasses from a teatowel cos he’d been planning to take me to the beach the next morning to do it at sunrise but I’d just blown that with a phonecall over entree where I’d planned a girly shopping trip. Oops! I even got the bended knee, and I cried and said “are you sure?” Dumbarse.

  18. This is a great story!i think in the end it doesn’t matter how grand or not the proposal is, it’s the intent behind it that matters. You know my story from the comments on your other post and to be honest, I have no idea what I was wearing. Probably something equally as daggy as you as we were just hanging out around the house on a weekend.

  19. I was wearing the short version of trackies as hubby came home early from work while I was watching Oprah on the exercise bike. He insisted that we went for a walk (still in my shorts and wife beater exercise gear) and he popped the question when we got to the river. It turned out that he hadn’t been to work at all that day and instead had met my parents in the city to ask their permission.

  20. What a great story! My husband proposed at a tree house in Maleny a few days before Valentine’s Day. When he stomped out, ring in hand, he knocked over a chair and the tree house swayed…guess he was nervous!

  21. Beautiful story! How exciting that the IVF had worked too!

    The trakkie dacks just add to the story!

  22. So happy to have found your blog via 52 Weeks of Grateful.
    You had such a gorgeous place for a proposal and I’m particularly in love with your witness!
    My beloved proposed on the back beach of Point Roadknight (Anglesea) as the sun was setting. But.. I have to admit he was under instructions! We’d decided to get married several months before when we were both volunteering in the Solomon Islands but I wanted the proposal to wait until we were home as, due to several bouts of gastro and giardia, I was a bit down on tropical islands!
    We lost no time in trying for a baby and by the time we got married a year later I was overjoyed to be 7 months pregnant – although I plan to have a big Do for our ten year anniversary when I can actually drink the champagne and am not quite as cumbersome!

  23. I live about 30 mins drive from Diamond Head! Makes the story even better in my books 🙂

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