In days of olde when traders were bold and Mumabulous was a research analyst……
In keeping with the medieval theme, I was looked upon (skeptically) as something of a mystic. Instead of bejewelled velvet robes, I wore a beige pantsuit. Excel spreadsheets were my crystal ball. I was expected to forecast with reasonable accuracy the profit certain companies would earn and the price to which their shares would rise. This may sound very esoteric but back in those heady times it was like shooting fish in a barrel. In the mid-naughties (2000s) world stock markets were batshit crazy. It was as though the cocaine imbibed by many of the dealers had infected the market itself. You only had to a pick a stock name out of a hat and its price would go up by 20%. So in the spirit of lame predictions, I give you my best guesses as to what the year ahead will bring.
Peace will not come to the Middle East.
There will be talk fests galore and dire warnings about global warming but there will be no significant political action.
Nevertheless household power bills will continue to rise and State and Federal Governments will point the finger at each other.
The US economy will avoid falling off the fiscal cliff (by mere inches) but there will be no meaningful dent made in the debt crisis.
As a consequence the Aussie dollar will remain above parity. There is simply nowhere else for currency traders to go.
Australian mining companies will, in turn, cry poor and direct their angst towards the Reserve Bank as well as Julia Gillard.
Gina Rinehart will continue to be as annoying as she is frumpy.
The Federal Election will be held later rather than sooner as the Labor Party desperately try to buy time. The campaign will insult our national intelligence to the point where we begin to believe we really are that stoopid. It will be another year of empty catch cries like “Stop the boats”, ” Your grandchildren will be paying off Labor’s debt” and “Tony Abbott will bring back WorkChoices and throw your children down the mines”.
Despite the fact that Julia Gillard has earned some kudos with her feminist stance, Tony Abbott will be PM by the years end. Whilst some may be relieved, no one will be particularly joyful about this – least of all Malcom Turnbull. Malcom will continue to be a thorn in TA’s side for the foreseeable.
Commentators will continue to argue about whether women can “have it all”. Meanwhile the vast majority of us will not “have it all” unless you’re talking about “all the housework”.
Princess Kate will give birth and lose the baby weight immediately. Every single publication worldwide, be it traditional print or online, will document her post baby bounce back.
On television we can expect to see more cooking shows, more talent quests and more famous for being famous bimbos doing alot of not very much.
Mumabulous will make time to watch her new DVD copy of Mad Men Series 5 so as to avoid the above.
Micheal Fassbender will continue to be smokin’ hawt.
Mumabulous will continue to lust over Michael Fassbender. While other bloggers take on the role of brand ambassadors, Mumabulous will be a FASSbassador and an AmFASSador. His hawtness really should be brought to more people’s attention.
The latest installment of Superman will be a croc of shite but it will be the opposite of kryptonite for the box office.
Sorry ladies but Brad and Ange will not break up. The good news is that they won’t get married either despite weekly speculation in the tattle rags.
Despite her best intentions Mumabulous will not quit coffee, chocolate or alcohol. Nor will she make it back to the gym. I’ve seen the future and it’s flabby.
Do you have your own predictions for 2013? Perhaps we can review in 12 months time?