Vogue Inferiors

41 Comments

If I have learned anything from GOMI* its that some people don’t care for Mummy/ Lifestyle blogs. You know the ones that feature an array of gorgeously photographed interior design, fashion and craft and gastro porn. Some readers view this type of thing as self important yet bored housewives documenting the tedious details of their privileged but dull lives. Whilst Mumabulous has never claimed to be anything but over privileged and bland, I’m hoping that this post will provide a refreshing antidote to the “la-de-dah, more stylish than thou” blogs out there. Welcome to Chez ‘Abulous’ feature spread in Vogue Inferiors: The 2013 Summer Edition.

Chez ‘Abulous is like a super model who has let herself go. ( I note that this is not a common occurrence, most supermodels hold onto themselves with a vice like grip.)  She is amply proportioned with “good bones”. She simply needs to be whipped into shape to become “catwalk ready”.  Here are some of the blemishes that could use a dab of concealer.

Skip To My Loo

One of my next of kin a retired architect. She sneered at this throne of magnificence. P1 by contrast squealed with delight the first time she laid eyes on it. “Look at the dolphin twoilet! It’s bewdiful”.  The problem is you can’t appreciate this intricate collage while attending your business.

The throne of magnificence.

The throne of magnificence.

Personally I prefer our office ensuite. I refer to it as “the loo with a view”. You can sit there reflecting on nature while you are answering its call.

The view from the top.

The view from the top.

That’s Like Soooo 90s

Presenting the ensuite to the master bedroom where the princesses take their royal bubble bath of an evening. At first inspection the architect told me that it was “very 90s”.  Her super power apparently is dating a dwelling by its bathroom decor. Actually she’s right – the upstairs extension was completely by previous owners some twenty years ago. I relieve myself of all responsibility for the choice of tiles. The towels on the floor however are all my own work.

90s retro chic?

90s retro chic?

Oooooooooh Look At Us – We’ve Got a Bar!

We have a swanky bar area. It’s cool. If we added a pool table and a dart board the living room would be a functional man cave. It’s a pity I’ve been using it as a crafting base instead of an entertainment epicentre. If you look hard you’ll  notice the artistic plaster busts on the shelves. They are yet another of Dadabulous’ creations. Before we met he attended a sculpture workshop to pick up chicks.

The entertainment epicentre?

The entertainment epicentre?

Dirty Laundry

If an interior design blog shows the laundry at all its either gleaming stainless steel or charmingly rustic with raffia baskets. By comparison our laundry is a rehabilitation clinic for indoor plants.

The Peace Lily is recovering from dehydration and exhaustion.

The Peace Lily is recovering from dehydration and exhaustion.

The laundry is also the scene of Dadabulous’ greatest failure. Not too many fancy pants blogs proudly display their husband’s botched handy man jobs. To be fair Dadabulous doesn’t have too many DIY disasters on his resume.

So when are we calling the plumber?

So when are we calling the plumber?

Child’s Play

Our playroom is the jewel in the Chez ‘Abulous crown. If there is a better playroom in the municipality I’d like to see it. Look up and you will observe these ornate ceiling features.

Noice.

Noice.

Look down and you will observe  (ahem)  this.

Great picture.

Our wide screen TV is the shizz man.

On second thoughts it’s best to look up. Damn that’s one fine ceiling.

Ikebana

Some popular blogs regularly showcase the author’s flower arranging skills.  This is the ancient art of ikebana done Mumabulous style.  A friend of P1’s plucked these gems from a neighbour’s front yard. The plastic yellow cup was the best I could come up with at short notice and after two wines. Rather fetching don’t you think?

The work of a true master.

The work of a true master.

I hope you enjoyed this brief tour of Chez ‘Abulous. I’ve got so much more style to share with you but I know you’re busy people and don’t have all day.

Until next time stay sleek and chic.

Mumabulous

* Get Off My Internet – a site where people go to “dis” blogs that irritate them. The tone is bitchy but some valid points are made.

PS: Mumabulous requires surgery to remove her tongue from her cheek. I admire the decorator/lifestyle bloggers’ ability to create beautiful images. This offering only serves to highlight their talent.


41 thoughts on “Vogue Inferiors

  1. Hahaha! You totes must use the same interior designer as us! I can’t even look at that GOMI site I cannot stand internet bitchiness so I have vowed never to check it out.

  2. I LOVE your bar. It is FANTASTIC. Sooooo jealous.

  3. Oh, and the toilet seat is pretty spesh too. You’re my kind of interior decorator.

  4. Ha ha…l love it!
    That toilet is seriously a wonder to behold! Truly one of a kind!
    And I use the same vases as you do…so easy as they are always on hand!

  5. Wow I just popped off for a little holiday under a rock and this GOMI thing happened!? Now I feel all awkward and stuff. Or is that cliched? Maybe I’ll just crawl under your bar till I feel better about myself. It’s very pretty.

  6. I greatly admire your resilience in the face of GOMI shenanigans (lots of bloggers looking at their feet and kicking the dust today as I’ve wandered around the posts). I do love your ikebana – you’ve really nailed the minimalism and emphasis on angles. Get it on Pinterest pronto! And be smug about it!

  7. Hey mama I’ve just posted a loo too. I love yr style!

  8. That is definitely one fine ceiling! LOL. And the toilet is fab-loo-lous. Indeed.
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

  9. Love this! A fine and funny post

  10. Oh I’m sure this will have you featured on GOMI next week!! haha as for that plumbing job…uhhhh, what is it supposed to be?!

  11. Brilliant work, laughed out loud. Did I spot a Harry Enfeild reference in your opening paragraph? xx

  12. Love the dunny decor, I can well imagine Izzy would too! Dangerous because we need a new seat. I would claim the bar as my new office to house the laptop, perfect work space!

  13. Love Chez ‘Abulous’. Especially the toilet. Perhaps my 2 year old would be more willing to toilet train if we had one 🙂

  14. Loo with a view, now I like that. Although since I can’t really even go to the loo without interupetion I am not sure I would get the proper use out of it.

  15. I LOVE your throne!!! The window? Not so much. Maybe you can add that frosting tint to the glass – you know where you can look out but people can’t look in. I went to a public toilet in Amsterdam that had it. Very retro.
    I don’t care how 90’s your bath is…I want it!!!

  16. This post is an absolute classic!!! I wish I’d thought of it!!!!!

  17. Yo know what… I LOVE everything!
    It’s so much nicer than our late 70s/early 80s fit-outs, I am actually a wee bit jealous…
    I’ll post some pics one day…

    Great post! I laughed and laughed!

  18. I think my fav is the play room LOL The gorgeous ceiling and then…. ahem… reality check! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your gorgeous real home xx

  19. The GOMI thing is hilarious! And I am dead jealous of your bar. You is fancy xx

  20. If you are ever looking for another design job give me a shout, our loo could defintiely do with a makeover and I was just saying to husb last night that what our house is lacking is a crafting bar. (he was in total agreement, as long as it had beer in it – which I am not sure is parenting at its best really)

  21. Looked at GOMI and was laugh out loud astounded at how incredibly angry, frustrated and vile most of the comments were. Very little constructive anything, just furious, virulent housewives anonymously taking out their frustrations on much braver people. They all sounded like they needed a decent orgasm to me. So I’ll keep doing what I always do, checking out things I like online and ignoring things I don’t without working myself into a desperate lather over it 😀

    PS I love that shade of blue on your bar, it brings back memories I won’t bore you with 🙂

    • Alison your memories are anything but boring. I think the Mean Girls of GOMI had some good points about disclosure on sponsored posts etc but the bitching about the appearance and personal lives of certain bloggers was completely unnecessary.

  22. Your home is actually rather classy compared to my bogan box, where ensuites and play rooms are the stuff of day dreams. Sigh.

  23. So did your husband’s sculpture skills work on you?

  24. Pingback: Forever house « RoboMum

  25. Pingback: Vogue Inferiors – Redland Style

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