If I have learned anything from GOMI* its that some people don’t care for Mummy/ Lifestyle blogs. You know the ones that feature an array of gorgeously photographed interior design, fashion and craft and gastro porn. Some readers view this type of thing as self important yet bored housewives documenting the tedious details of their privileged but dull lives. Whilst Mumabulous has never claimed to be anything but over privileged and bland, I’m hoping that this post will provide a refreshing antidote to the “la-de-dah, more stylish than thou” blogs out there. Welcome to Chez ‘Abulous’ feature spread in Vogue Inferiors: The 2013 Summer Edition.
Chez ‘Abulous is like a super model who has let herself go. ( I note that this is not a common occurrence, most supermodels hold onto themselves with a vice like grip.) She is amply proportioned with “good bones”. She simply needs to be whipped into shape to become “catwalk ready”. Here are some of the blemishes that could use a dab of concealer.
Skip To My Loo
One of my next of kin a retired architect. She sneered at this throne of magnificence. P1 by contrast squealed with delight the first time she laid eyes on it. “Look at the dolphin twoilet! It’s bewdiful”. The problem is you can’t appreciate this intricate collage while attending your business.
Personally I prefer our office ensuite. I refer to it as “the loo with a view”. You can sit there reflecting on nature while you are answering its call.
That’s Like Soooo 90s
Presenting the ensuite to the master bedroom where the princesses take their royal bubble bath of an evening. At first inspection the architect told me that it was “very 90s”. Her super power apparently is dating a dwelling by its bathroom decor. Actually she’s right – the upstairs extension was completely by previous owners some twenty years ago. I relieve myself of all responsibility for the choice of tiles. The towels on the floor however are all my own work.
Oooooooooh Look At Us – We’ve Got a Bar!
We have a swanky bar area. It’s cool. If we added a pool table and a dart board the living room would be a functional man cave. It’s a pity I’ve been using it as a crafting base instead of an entertainment epicentre. If you look hard you’ll notice the artistic plaster busts on the shelves. They are yet another of Dadabulous’ creations. Before we met he attended a sculpture workshop to pick up chicks.
If an interior design blog shows the laundry at all its either gleaming stainless steel or charmingly rustic with raffia baskets. By comparison our laundry is a rehabilitation clinic for indoor plants.
The laundry is also the scene of Dadabulous’ greatest failure. Not too many fancy pants blogs proudly display their husband’s botched handy man jobs. To be fair Dadabulous doesn’t have too many DIY disasters on his resume.
Our playroom is the jewel in the Chez ‘Abulous crown. If there is a better playroom in the municipality I’d like to see it. Look up and you will observe these ornate ceiling features.
Look down and you will observe (ahem) this.
On second thoughts it’s best to look up. Damn that’s one fine ceiling.
Some popular blogs regularly showcase the author’s flower arranging skills. This is the ancient art of ikebana done Mumabulous style. A friend of P1’s plucked these gems from a neighbour’s front yard. The plastic yellow cup was the best I could come up with at short notice and after two wines. Rather fetching don’t you think?
I hope you enjoyed this brief tour of Chez ‘Abulous. I’ve got so much more style to share with you but I know you’re busy people and don’t have all day.
Until next time stay sleek and chic.
* Get Off My Internet – a site where people go to “dis” blogs that irritate them. The tone is bitchy but some valid points are made.
PS: Mumabulous requires surgery to remove her tongue from her cheek. I admire the decorator/lifestyle bloggers’ ability to create beautiful images. This offering only serves to highlight their talent.