I recently posted about bowing out of the body image debate. However in that weighty piece I didn’t say anything about perving on blokes. I fully intend on doing that well into my 80s from behind my outlandish sunglasses and silk turban, preferably whilst sipping on a champagne cocktail. I note the hypocrisy in this. I guess I am not pure of heart. My excuse? I may be middle aged, married and low of mojo but I am NOT DEAD YET GOD DAMN IT!
Given my appreciation for the male form, it may surprise you to hear that Mumabulous has never been to a strip show. It’s not that I’m a prude – quite the opposite. During my misspent youth I deemed it unnecessary to pay money to see naked hunks. It didn’t appeal anyhow. All those super buffed, oiled up meat heads bumping and grinding seemed like a grotesque parody of sexuality. The hordes of screaming women were in my youthful view pathetic. (Fast forward twenty years and I’ve proudly joined the ranks of the pathetic.) To me sexiness has always been more complex than a chiseled jaw and cheese grater abs, though I’ll happily admire these assets. Its intangible and 90% above the neck. If I had to chose between a dinner date with Channing Tatum (recently voted the world’s sexiest man) or the decidedly non aesthetic Jonathan Green ( a respected ABC journalist) its Jonathan all the way.
During the 90s Manpower Australia took the world by storm and launched Jamie Durie’s career whilst I merrily ignored it. Then in 1997 The Fully Monty was released. I initially dismissed the film as “crapola” until my bestie dragged me along to the cinema. I absolutely loved it and it remains one of my favorite movies. It’s not a high brow choice but its funny, warm hearted and poignant. Moreover its got an important social message about the devastating effects of unemployment but its served up with humor rather than shoved down our throats Hollywood style. The scene where Gaz and his chubby mate Dave rescue the security guard, Lomper, from gassing himself in his car, to my way of thinking, one of the most gently life affirming in movie history. As for the actually stripping, our troupe are just gorgeous in all their imperfect glory. I’m grinning like a Cheshire Cat remembering it. Perhaps I need to get out more.
In 2012 male stripping became the movie topic du jour again with Magic Mike. I was preparing to dis MM as shallow Hollywood tripe but I thought I should actually watch it before I ripped in. Cue a trip to the DVD store last night where I hovered above the copy of MM like an aging pervert. Finally I wussed out, concerned about Dadabulous’ reaction. I selected two Fassbender films instead*. Dadabulous hasn’t picked up on it yet. I deferred to YouTube for research purposes and spent the morning watching clips from MM while Dadabulous took the girls out. This was enough for me to grasp the film’s main (ahem) thrust.
To my chagrin, I found myself enjoying it in the same way a teenager enjoys raiding their parents’ liquor cabinent. It was a cheeky, guilty pleasure watching those hawt hunks gyrating comically about. I was drooling over my computer screen like a moronic dog. Seriously though, did they have to dry hump the floor quite so much? Really? Hundreds of millions of women are going to hate me when I say that Channing doesn’t really do it for me but that young Alex Pettyfer – Woo Hoo! I’m old enough to be Alex’s mother. I’d be a young, hip MILF type mother but fawning over Alex is all kinds of wrong nevertheless. Excuse me while I take a shower. I didn’t need to watch until the bitter end to predict that Mike eventually abandons the sleazy world of stripping for the more wholesome pursuit of furniture design and a long term relationship.
I may have misjudged Mike. He and his anatomically perfect mates provided a titillating distraction for a pathetic old bird like me. I’d still balk at the idea of paying money to see dudes strip but, thanks to MM, if I scored a free ticket I’d be in like Flynn. Still when it comes to heart The Full Monty has the bigger package.
What do you think? Male strippers – hawt or not?
*Centurion and A Dangerous Method.