It starts from the moment they bound out of bed, usually on the dark side of 6.30 am. It gradually builds to a crescendo by breakfast time. I’m talking about the whinging of course. My girls behaviour was lamentably UnAustralian on the morning of our national day. They whinged like poms*. I had prepared them a wholesome breakfast of Weetbix topped with luscious mango, nectarine and grapes. This unfortunately was not up to the princesses’ exacting standards. P1 moaned that she wanted Cheerios while P2 did not approve of the fruit or the mushed up cereal. Ungrateful wretches!
P1 was already in fine form. We had planned a visit to a local ocean pool but this clashed with her agenda. She pulled every excuse from the nook where excuses reside. The ocean was “too sandy”, “too itchy” and “too boring”. She vehemently objected to the hike down to the sea which would make her “too tired to swim”. I told her innumerable times to stop whinging but the protests became increasingly shrill.
As a youngster I would never have gotten away this type of caper. I would have been told in no uncertain terms to “shut up and do as you are told”. Any further complaints beyond this point would be swiftly met by a slap on the hand. This morning I resorted to a musical equivalent. As P1 recited a tiresome soliloquy about why she did not want to go to the ocean pool I said:
“You know, there is a very famous rock band called The Rolling Stones. And they have a very famous song. It goes a little something like this –
You can’t always get what you want. You can’t always get what you want.
But if you try sometime. You just might find.
You get what you need”
Although its an all time classic, it doesn’t quite ring true. Mick Jagger does in fact always gets what he wants – accolades, serious cash, sex with supermodels, drugs, a house on every continent and a private Caribbean island. On the other hand he cops large quantities of stuff he doesn’t really need like illegitimate kids. Meanwhile P1 was not convinced by my musical argument. After some precocious eye rolling and groaning she declared ” But you always get what you want!”. Touche or so she thought. I struck back with “I want to not hear whinging and I’m not getting that am I?”. Mumabulous: 1, P1: 0.
As Mum what I want is low on the list of family priorities.
- I want a day or even a morning without whinging.
- I want a sleep in.
- I want to not have to wipe pee of the floor with paper towels.
- I want some help with the washing up.
- I want to watch the two Fassbender movies we’ve just recorded on the Media Centre.
- Infact I want Fass to pull up at my doorstep on a Harley and take me on a joy ride. (What a joyous, joyful ride it would be).
I’m pretty much resigned to the fact that none of the above is going to happen, at least not in the next month. If I can deal with it then P1 can deal with walking the short distant to the gosh darn ocean pool.
Anyway this tale of woe ended of a positive note. After being dragged literally kicking and screaming to the pool, the girls ended up having a lovely time. There was plenty of marine life to gawk at and rocky crevices to explore. Better still, in honour of Australia Day Dadabulous shouted us lamingtons. That meant that everyone in Team Abulous got something they wanted. They were scrumptious with my cappuccino, so technically I got two things that I wanted. Score!
Here’s hoping that you get what you want this Australia Day.
* Apologies to my British friends for resorting to such a lazy cliche. I deserve to be showered with warm beer and forced to watch the English cricket team reclaim The Ashes.