Fass-bloody-tastic! I thought to myself as I finally settled in to watch the film A Dangerous Method last night. The mere act of having this title on our media center added approximately 10 imagined points to my waning IQ. Its an historical drama about the bromance and subsequent bitch fight between the founders of modern psychology Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud. So far, so intellectually weighty. Freud is played by the remarkable Viggo Mortensen and there’s no prizes for guessing who does the Fass-incinating part of Jung. Clearly its a crumpet over content deal for me. What’s more its a double serving of crumpet soaked in honey. Keira Knightley takes the female lead but frankly who cares?
If the film is anything to go by the celebrated intellects of the early 20th century spent a lot of time pouncing about looking dapper and talking absolute tripe. Freud and Jung dissect their dreams like a couple of school girls. In one case Jung relates one of his dreams where a horse that is forced to drag a large log along the ground. I bet you can you imagine Freud’s reaction. Predictably he suggests “I think perhaps you should entertain the possibility that it represents the penis”. D’uh! Naturally. What else could a log represent? *
Had Carl and Siggy been Aussie, the discussion probably would have continued along lines similar to this – “Maaaaaate. You should entertain the possibility that your head represents a penis” or “Maaaaate my wedding tackle is so big, I need a horse to lug it around”. Instead being European sophisticates, they continue with a polite discussion about kids thwarting ambition and repressed sexual desires. In other words, Jung has the hots for Keira Knightley’s character.
Based on this example I’m wondering what Carl and Siggy would make of Mumabulous’ dreams. Lets start with the easy stuff. Last night snippets of the movie followed me into my sleep but in my personal version, Colin Firth was playing Jung! It was hardly a nightmare.
Carl’s Verdict: “Maaaate. You’ve got the hots for Colin Firth so badly eh?”
Siggy’s Verdict: ” You should entertain the possibility that you have a repressed desire for Colin Firth. And that my head represents the penis”.
Let’s move into slightly deeper territory that may involve some basic analytical prowess. I have a recurring dream that I am forced to go back to High School and repeat the Higher School Certificate. This dream occurs with monotonous regularity and it’s awful. The HSC was horrific enough back in 1988 let alone having to relive it every week. Anyway pioneers of modern psychology – analyse that.
Carl’s Verdict: “Maaate. You’re a very well balanced person. You’ve got a chip on both shoulders. Year 12 was 25 years ago. Build a bridge and get over it”.
Siggy’s Verdict: “You should entertain the possibility that the HSC represents some kind of repressed sexual desire. You feel you screwed it. Alternatively you may have a school uniform fixation”.
The next two dreams should provide our boffins with a real challenge. As much as I want to dream about Fass, its Don Draper* who often plays the leading role in my nocturnal meanderings. Not the actor Jon Hamm, the character of Don Draper. I once dreamed I had an interview with DD at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. I was agonizing over what to wear as nothing in my wardrobe was suitably “retro”. It turned out to be a moot point because before I could get to DD’s office aliens attacked the planet. Cue the apocalypse. Over to you intellectual colossi.
Carl’s Verdict: ” Ha. Maaate. You wanna bang Jon Hamm.”
Siggy’s Verdict: “You should entertain the possibility that the aliens represent the penis. They certainly screwed your chances of employment. Or perhaps you are clutching at any excuse to buy a new dress”.
In my second Don Draper dream it is revealed that DD is in fact Batman. He saved Peggy* from being shot by Brad Pitt (WTF?). I believe that this could actually be a prediction. Maybe Jon Hamm will play Bruce Wayne/Batman and Brad Pitt will be the villain in the inevitable next installment of that franchise. Lets see what the analysts have to say.
Carl’s Verdict: “Shizz. You really wanna bang Jon Hamm”.
Siggy’s Verdict: ” Clearly in this case Don Draper represents the penis. This character is very handsome but he often behaves as though he is suffering from cranial genital inversion syndrome”.
Have you had any puzzling dreams that you’d like to run past my illustrious experts?
* Actually I can think of something else that a log could represent but I don’t wish to lower the tone any further.
* From my favourite TV series Mad Men.
* Also a character from Mad Men.