More Hollywood Hotties Dorkified


It’s that time of year again. The judges from Village Voices are doing the rounds sussing out the best of the best of the crème de la crème of the Aussie blogging scene. I’m in the running thanks to the wonderful Ness of Boganville ( so I’m laying out the welcome mat in the form of some red carpet crumpet. Back in August 2012 I banged out a popular piece called Hollywood Hotties Dorkified  ( Here I moaned about celebrity photographers’  knack for taking the sexiest men in the world and making them look like complete and utter knob ends. I promised a follow up and now is a great time to make good on my word.

As my devotion to the lotharios and ladies of Mad Men is well known I’ll begin with –

Jon Hamm

From the extensive research I’ve done on this subject I’ve come to the conclusion that Jon Hamm rolls out of bed in the morning looking like this.

Missing the dork gene?

Missing the dork gene?

There are so few photos of Jon looking anything but effortlessly sleek, sophisticated and stylish that one could easily assume he is missing the essential dork chromosome.  This is about as bad as it gets for Jon. For a mere mortal a white Miami Vice suit and full facial fuzz would be a disaster. Its passable on Jon. Perhaps he is wearing his Superman undies beneath?

An outfit a mere mortal could not get away with.

An outfit a mere mortal could not get away with.

Imagine my shock and surprise when I stumbled upon this.

Do not adjust you set - this is Don Draper.

Do not adjust you set – this is Don Draper.

Before you utter OMG , WTF or any other text speak acronyms, its all in fun. Jon is channeling Sergio the Sexy Saxophonist for a Saturday Night Live skit. You’ve got to love a hunk with a sense of humour. The clip can be seen here:  LOL, PML, ROLF, LMAFO.

Mumabulous does requests. Sarah from Slapdash Mamma ( asked for these two heart throbs. Slapdash is a rising star in the bloggy world and I wish to ingratiate myself with her before she becomes the next Mrs Woog. Therefore I happily present –

Clive Owen

Phew, this was hard work she says wiping sweat from her brow. I was forced to look at this sort of thing for half an hour.



Oh my – a dark, brooding, dangerous bad boy. He’s putting the “dish” back in dishevelled here. I hope that’s not asprin in his glass because I for one don’t have a headache. Even with an over sized caterpillar on his upper lip Clive is very very tasty.

I wish every month were Movember.

I wish every month were Movember.

I was starting to think that Clive was un-dorkifiable until I spotted this advertisement for Lancome.

Sniffed too much of something?

Sniffed too much of something?

Really Clive – you’re too fine to be flogging stink water. You look like you’ve been sniffing a bit too much of your own hype in this one.

Slapdash also expressed an interest in –

Jude Law

Now this was fun. I was looking to punish Jude for his caddish ways be posting some uber dorky pictures. However as with Jon and Clive, the task proved difficult. Jude’s razor sharp bone structure and piercing china blue eyes (cliche much?) makes taking a bad photo of him close to impossible. Here he is channeling Johnny Cash in timeless Ray Ban Wayfarers at some miscellaneous red carpet event.

Jude is wayfaring well.

Jude is wayfaring well.

But I have some advice to give. If you’re going to wear turtle shell, limit it to your glasses frames please. This is NOT a good look on ANYONE.

Dorkyville - Population Jude Law.

Dorkyville – Population Jude Law.

This may not offend your eyes but I find it disconcertingly homo-erotic.

Jude does wistful.

Jude does  “wistful”.

I can just imagine the photographic shoot. “Give me the bedroom eyes Jude”, “We need more sexy Jude”, “Look at the camera like you want to make love to it”.  Jude’s “wistful” look can take its rightful place alongside Derek Zoolander’s “Blue Steel” and “Magnum”.

I know you’re all chomping at the bit for more and I’m glad to report that my crumpet account is in surplus.  You’ll just have to wait for my next post. In the meantime if your husband comments about you looking at beefcake you can safely respond with “but Honey Jude Law looks like a total dweeb here. YOU could never look so undignified”. So there you have it – quality perving with an escape clause.

Who would you like to see given the Mumabulous dorkification treatment?



33 thoughts on “More Hollywood Hotties Dorkified

  1. Ooh phew phwoaarrr and so forth….Mumabulous Brenda you have outdone yourself! The turtle cap…so hot right now! Bahaha!

  2. Clive Owen. Dear Lord. I could always shave the hideous tash off in his sleep….:)

  3. Ooh, that creepy Clive Owen meets David Copperfield image will stay with me….

  4. LSHIDMTAMSFO! (Laughing so hard I dropped my taco and my sombrero fell off). Don – I’ll have you any way you come. You even look hot at Sergio, once I stop laughing. Who knew? Such brawn under that suit?!

  5. My men-folk love the avengers so I’m constantly eyeballing Captain America (yum), Hawkeye (extra yum) and Thor (yummy yummy yum). Maybe you could do an avengers series!

  6. I had to giggle at the Jude Law homo-erotic photo. I wonder if the poor guy realises that it’s doing the rounds on the internet 🙂
    As for the Clive Owen with moustache…eeeewwww! I’m with Lara…creepy!

  7. I do fancy Jude quite a bit. Esp in The Holiday…. That turtle shell though, not good! Youve got to give Channing a red hot go! xx

  8. That one with the Sax looks like he took it at home! And all the jewellery – too weird!

  9. The braces + saxophone? Very relieved to discover that there’s comedic justification for such attire!

  10. Braces, sax and chains???? My fantasies are ruined… 🙂

  11. Love the Clive Owen one, he really does not look good in that ad!

  12. LOVE LOVE LOVE the eye candy – cha-ching!!!

  13. this cracks me up…. oh and you have ruined Don Draper for me now!! LOL

  14. What a classic, I love this! I bet Jude Law’s stylist went into cardiac arrest when he was snapped in that god awful cap (or if they okayed it I hope to hell they got fired over it!). Looking forward to future instalments!

  15. I reckon Clive still goes alright, even with a little shameless product flogging……I’d sniff his cologne at a push.

  16. I think you’ve proven my theory that it is IMPOSSIBLE to make Jude Law look bad, but bahahaha at Steve Carrell, sorry I meant Jon Hamm. Ha!

  17. Yep give us more!!!

  18. Clive and the mo is a no go! But nothing can make Jude Law unsexy, even if he does have a slightly gay look x

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