Ass-pirational.

19 Comments

I’m generally attracted to blogs that keep things real but occasionally I gravitate towards some that could be described as aspirational. By this I mean that the author is able to present their fashion sense, culinary expertise, interior design prowess, gardening skills and  high falutin lifestyle in such a way that it makes you wish you were in wearing their Louboutins. I’m sure these bloggers dont set out to make you covet their lives. They just take pleasure in creating beautiful things. Nevertheless you can’t help thinking that your life appears a tad frayed around the edges by comparison.

This phenomena is hardly limited to the blogging landscape. I’m sure everyone has one or two irritatingly fabulous Facebook friends who are doing much more exciting things than you and looking amazing while they do it.  Some folk on social media seem to personify that Fergie song ( I’m taking about Glamorous not My Humps). Sadly I don’t think I could do glamour  if my life depended on it. When it comes to conveying my lifestyle I have the opposite of the Midas touch – I can turn gold into brown. As a blog Mumabulous is more ass-pirational than aspirational. Whenever I attempt “classy” I end up inadvertently dropping the “cl”.

Instead of having the occasional bad hair day I have a bad hair life. I would love my hair to look like this when I do the double daycare/school  drop off.

Aspirational hair.

Aspirational hair.

Surely a bit of styling mousse and squirt of hair spray is all that is needed to rock my inner Betty Draper? Why is it that most days I emerge from Chez Abulous looking more like this?

My bad hair life.

My bad hair life.

I have a walk in wardrobe which is half the size of my former bachelorette pad in Sydney’s Chippendale. Sadly it is not really the stuff of my outlandish Sex and The City fantasies.

Carrie on.

Carrie on.

This is where I rummage for something half respectable to cover my lumpy bits every morning.

Staying in the closet.

Staying in the closet.

Have you noticed how some bloggers are able to create fantastical table spreads giving every occasion an extra sprinkling of magic? An interior design aficionado whipped up this  sea side themed table setting between naps on the porch. Sure its impractical. Those starfish tacked to the side of the plastic cups could take your eye out  but the ensemble looks marvelous.

A beachy motiff.

Slightly dangerous seaside glam.

Here’s what the table setting at Chez ‘Abulous looked like last night. Its all P1’s handiwork of course.

P1's stunning centre piece.

P1’s stunning centre piece.

Some bloggers  have the high level gardening skills you’d expect from the love child of Peter Cundall and Alan Seale. Their healthy blossoms provide more gratuitous eye candy than all my Hollywood Hotties posts put together.

Hardcore flower porn.

Hardcore flower porn.

Meanwhile I’m relieved that I finally nagged Dadabulous into weeding our back courtyard area.

A weed free court yard. Sort of.

A weed free court yard. Sort of.

Finally there’s a subset of bloggers who make you feel like a flabby slacker by documenting their regular exercise programs. Having quit my gym some six months ago I work out vicariously through them. Back at the ranch I climb the stairs of aspiration at least 30 times a day. The has not prevented a substantial weight gain since moving to Chez Abulous. Its just not fair.

The aspirational staircase.

The aspirational staircase.

If I were a pessimist I’d take all this as evidence that I am a total dag with buckley’s chance of ever mixing it with the “in crowd”. However I’m choosing a different perspective. It just goes to show that Mumabulous is normal. In the meantime, I’ll take some solace in the view I get during my early morning coffee run.

Not a bad way to start the day.

Not a bad way to start the day.

 

Nor that.

Nor that.

I’ll also get some smug satisfaction from the fact that my wood is bigger than most bloggers.

Chez Abulous has wood.

Chez Abulous has wood.

Are you inspirational, aspirational or ass-pirational?

Love

Mumabulous

An ass-pirational blogger?

I’m classy with out the “cl”.

19 thoughts on “Ass-pirational.

  1. This post had me laughing…. I once dreamed of a Marilyn Monroe-esque life (minus the young death part), but now I can’t help but aspire to be a Noni Hazelhurst type! Something has changed in my brain – suddenly I love making pipe cleaner critters all day and sing songs about elephants…. But, honestly, recently I’ve felt about bored of the mummy lifestyle, and am ready to get amongst the adult world again.

  2. Ass-pirational here. Am yet to find another blogger who admits to having uncontrollable misaligned nipples. I’m a rough in the diamonds!

  3. OMG do you even need to ask, obviously I am as ass-pirational as all get out. Those starfish are a positive death trap. Occupational health and safety would have a field day with them. PS you are inspirational to me. If only I had calf muscles small enough that I could actually pull my boots over my jeans. Sadly it is not to be x

  4. I love this post…keepin it real! My house is a flipping tip today and everyday in desperate need of a paint. I actually cooked a meal tonight which involved me avoiding unstacking the dishy leaving that disaster to my Mr. But part of me dreams of the champagne lifestyle that exists in those Blogs…but alas I have a beer budget so no chance!

  5. Obviously I’m even a rung or two lower than ass-pirational, being a tragic bogan from Boganville. Consequently, you and your life actually seem very classy and aspirational to me. It’s all relative.

  6. That view is stunning Brenda! The beach that is 😉

  7. Mmm I’ll never be with the in crowd either but do have a gorgeous beach too, to strutt my sorry ass 🙂

  8. asspirational I dont even have the strength at 430AM yes AM to see if I spelt that right and sadly right now I don’t care…love a little reality with a daydream thrown in to completly mess with my head that Im doing it all wrong some how..xD

  9. You made me snort with laughter thank you! I gave up on the perfect life dream a long time ago now i call it a win if i remember to brush my hair and put a bra on before leaving the house!

  10. I think I’m a keeping it real blogger … it’s early days yet though … would like to be a little bit inspirational as well?!

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