Cool. Its such a difficult concept to nail down. Like quantum physics and boutique derivatives only the finest minds of our time can truly grasp it. It can’t be pinned down with 100% accuracy and much depends on the perspective of the observer. Also its a moving target. For example I have read that Twilight was cool a few years back but in 2013 its like totally NOT. Perhaps it will experience a revival in a few years time before morphing into dorkiness again – much like the career of John Travolta really.
Explanations as to what constitutes cool are complex. Again I have read that hipsters do things “ironically”. That is to say they do things that aren’t cool with full awareness of the uncoolness inherent in the activity like say smoking Winnie Blue. They thereby imbue the uncool pastime with ironic coolness. I know my brain is about to explode grappling with this idea. In my humble opinion (IMHO for the text generation), anyone who does anything ironically is overthinking as is anyone who recognizes the irony.
These arguments aside there are some things that simply can not be construed as cool no matter how you spin them. I am risking the complete loss of my blogging credibility as well as social death by admitting that I like the following.
Talk Back Radio
A friend of Team Abulous mentioned that listening to Talk Back radio was the marker of middle age. By his estimates it should happen somewhere in one’s late 30s. I made the permanent switch to ABC 702 at age 28! Not only am I a dag, I’m a precocious one. The 20 minutes of blather between James Valentine and Jonathan Green on Thursday arvo remains the high light of my week which only highlights the urgent need for me to get a life. I also love the Early Girlies over summer. I wish they could do the breakfast shift all year round.
There is nothing, repeat nothing cool about mixing disco with calypso. Yet when these two elements are combined with Russian folk music as in the 1978 hit single Rasputin, dagginess crosses the line into surreal. Lyrically too, this song is pure gold.
RA RA RASPUTIN
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
RA RA RASPUTIN
Russia’s greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on
I’d bet Putin would love to be known as “Russia’s greatest love machine”.
If left to my own devices these would be the only things I’d cook. What’s more I use pre-sliced cheese and not even that high end Coon stuff. Why would I when the Woolworths Select brand works a treat? As you can imagine Single ‘Abulous had a serious lack of fibre in her diet.
Whilst we are on the subject of cheese, my cheesiest crush is Antonio. He’s not quite the original Latin Lover (Wasn’t that Julio Iglesias?) but he certainly fits the mold. There are certain arguments in favor of Antonio being cool. There’s his earlier work with famed art house director Pedro Almodóvar and the adorable Puss In Boots. However any evidence for his coolness becomes inadmissible in the face of stuff like this. Still I forgive him because I luurve him and luurve is not only blind its intellectually challenged.
If I’m pushing the envelope with Antonio, I’m sending the envelope right over the edge with this one. Its kind of geek chic to have a mind crush on Prof Brian Cox but its completely uncool to have a thing for the men of dismal science, economics. Nevertheless I’d happily do the Inside Business with Alan Kohler. When that spry silver fox talks about tightening monetary policy my short term interest rates spike. Roll on Sunday morning!
Do you have any similar confessions you’d like to share with me?