Next week Dadabulous and I will celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary. I’m telling you about it now because I will be on an involuntary social media detox when the actual date falls. The 5th anniversary is traditionally known as “wood” anniversary as it is meant to symbolize strength and durability. I’m not completely au fait with anniversary etiquette but apparently we are supposed to gift each other wooden items. I’m considering giving Dadabulous the Matrix Trilogy Box Set because Keanu Reeves acting can best be described as wooden. Meanwhile I’m sure Dadabulous can conjure up some wood of his own and give it to me. Woof Woof!
This post is not meant be a run down of what I’ve learned over my five years of marriage. I knocked that one out on Valentines Day. Rather today I’m focusing on the future. Like Julia and the ALP plan to do for the country I am moving my marriage forward. That Dadabulous and I are in for the long haul is certain. As much as I joke about running off with Fass*, I know I’d be back in Dadabulous’ arms the minute something went wrong with my computer. By this reckoning, Fass and I would have approximately two hours (All the time I need really – Giddy up!).
Our future is dominated by an over arching vision – a dream to reach out for. Over the next few decades I’ll strive to be a dirty old lady and Dadabulous will do his darnedest to morph into a grumpy old man. The girls of course will be embarrassed. This glorious prospect gets me out of bed every morning.
When you look around at the media for icons of graceful aging the likes of Helen Mirren, Judi Dench, Susan Sarandon and Merryl Streep stand out as poster girls. Undoubtedly these ladies have class, style, talent, intelligence and great genes. They don’t however (on the face of it at least) have what I’m looking to emulate which is smut. I want to be the dotty old bird who drops bon mots that make all the young whipper snappers blush. My role model is the late Estelle Getty best known for playing Sophia in the Golden Girls.
Unabashedly crude she was always rattling off humdingers like these.
Sophia: If I met a man who was over seventy but still looked half-way decent, I’d be on my back faster than you could say, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
Boom Tish! What a legend. The bar as been set high ( or low depending on your perspective). If I can be even half as dirty as old Sophia I’d be proud indeed.
Meanwhile Dadabulous is working the curmudgeon angle. He tells me with a certain amount of glee, that when he retires he is going to spend his time writing letters of complaint, ringing talkback radio and generally moaning to anyone who will listen. In his view the world needs to be set straight and he’s just the man to do it. He has already started his quest by writing a letter of complaint to Coles. He was quite disgusted by the length of the check out queues one evening and sarcastically related the experience to “whom it may concern”. He described super market patrons nearly collapsing in hunger during their epic wait and being forced to open their groceries to ward off starvation. Coles rewarded his efforts with a generic canned email. Nevertheless Dadabulous argues that his letter was the tipping point that forced the Coles management to sell out to Wesfarmers. Dadabulous currently enjoys snarking about ineptitude everywhere he sees it too busy to take action. However in a decade or so he will be an even grumpier force to be reckoned with. Those lousy telcos in particular, are in for quite a hiding. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to this. I really cant.
How’s your future looking? Do you have a dream like us?
* In case you are new to this blog and are not Fass aware – this is what I am talking about.