My GOMI Snark

41 Comments

Warning:  Self depreciating humor ahead.

Over recent months there’s been much wailing and gnashing of teeth over the Aussie Mummy Bloggers thread on Get Off My Interwebs (GOMI). I’m sure you’re all familiar with it. Being a contrarian I’m actually disappointed by my absence from that discussion. To my way of thinking being snarked about means you’ve penetrated the public consciousness and made it as a blogger. The dearth of Mumabulous on GOMI is down to two factors. 1) I’m just not irritating enough. Everyone loves me or 2) Hardly anyone reads the blog. I suspect the latter is the case. Anyhow, as with so many things in life, if you want something done, you have to do it myself. Here’s my very own GOMI snark.

Snarker 1:  Ermigawd! Have you read Mumabulous? She’s taking the Aussie Mummy blogging scene to a new low.

Snarker 2:   That’s quite an achievement.  How so?

Snarker 1:    So mundane is her life and so mediocre her talent, that she resorts to putting up pictures of shirtless hunks on just about every post.

Snarker 2:  Shirtless hunks, did you say?

Snarker 3:  Heeeeey Snarky Ladeez! I ask you, what would you rather look at on blogs – cupcakes or beefcakes?

The ultimate blogging conundrum. Cupcakes vs Beefcakes

The ultimate blogging conundrum. Cupcakes vs Beefcakes

Snarker 1:  Snarker 3 – you are Mumabulous! Get orf! Anyhow – what really irritates me about her blog is the way she accompanies the gratuitous eye candy with puerile one liners. She is a middle aged mum’s answer to Benny Hill.  For example, she writes of a photo of Colin Firth in bed naked  “Oh my, what a comfortable zone”. Tish Boom.

The resemblance is uncanny.

The resemblance is uncanny.

Snarker 2:  Colin Firth? Naked? Really? Colin Firth? In bed naked? Really?

Snarker 1:  Yeh – Plus she found a picture of Colin Firth in a bubble bath and keeps droning on about it like she’s discovered the key to low cost nuclear fusion.

Nuclear fusion

Nuclear fusion

Snarker 2:  Colin Firth in a bubble bath?! That’s on my bucket list. I’ve just remembered I need to do all the things……

Snarker 1:  A few days back she posted an autographed photo of Ryan Reynolds sans shirt accompanied by the line, ” the autograph is a bonus. I know you are interested in his penmanship”.  Oh pulease.  What this blog could really use is a cartoon of a cat with the eyes popping out of its head and a horn honking sound effect. That would make it  funnier don’t you think?

booooing and honk med

Snarker 4:  Oh Snarker 1, you crack me up. Bahahahahahaha. Back to Mumabs – the obsession with that actor Michael Fassbender is getting tiresome. In fact its Fass-trating.

Snarker 1:  I know, I know. I’m so over the Fass-cination. There’s a limit to the number of puns you can construct from “Fass” and “Bender”. It’s just so passe – or should I say “Fasse”.

Snarkers 1 & 4 in unison:  Bahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

Snarker 5:  Who is this Michael Fassbender of which you speak? I’m just Googling him now…. Oh………..Oh ………….. Oh my………. Mercy me, Oh, Oh my………

Snarker 3:  Hey Snarker 5, here’s a tip. You’ll find the experience more satisfying (dare I say Fass-ifying) if you Google “Michael Fassbender shirtless”.

Snarkers 1, 4 and 5  in unison:  Mumabulous – Get Orf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Snarker 5:  But I’ll take your advice.

A triple serve - how Fassifying.

A triple serve – how Fassifying.

 

Snarker 1:  Mumabs if you’re bored why don’t you go drool over Tom Hiddleson in his Loki costume again? That’s age appropriate behaviour – NOT.  Meanwhile my interest in this is waning. Lets get back to moaning about the Un-Remarkables shall we?

Snarkers 4 & 5 in unison: The UnRemarkables – never gets old. Bahahahahhahahahahahaha!

Hiddles is singing in the rain with a kitten. Your argument is null and void.

Hiddles is singing in the rain with a kitten. Your argument is null and void.

Meanwhile I’d thought of a truly horrid caption for the above picture, something you’d expect to come from Mrs Slocombe of Are You Being Served. You can probably work out the gist of it yourself.

She's talking about her pussy again.

She’s talking about her pussy again.

What do you think the GOMI snarkers would say about you?

Love

Mumabulous

Boooooooing & Honk!

Boooooooing & Honk!

 

 

 

41 thoughts on “My GOMI Snark

  1. Eejit 🙂

    I heard that recently one of these fucktards had posted a blogger’s name and address on the forum along with details about her family. I didn’t go to look, have not given them a page click in many months. Don’t anybody bother telling me if they get started on me. Don’t know, don’t care.

    Anyway, if memory serves you’ve nailed the tone really well, but you sound a bit too intelligent and not quite desperate enough, in my opinion. You need a bit more bitter bile and a few less orgasms, and then you’ll nail it 😉

    • Its hard to be bitter when I’ve got Fass and Hiddles in my life but I can work on it 😉

    • Oh BTW – You’re not on it as far as I know. After this I doubt I’ll be game to look at it again.

      • Oh, I forgot to add, what would they say about me? Definitely something about the cursing. Dim witted, arse-biscuited, beige fucktards always hate cursing. They seem to struggle with the fact that Chaucer and Shakespeare – those illiterate fools – fucking loved it. What else? Common as muck. Thinks she’s funny. Goes for shock value. That’s what they would say before I paid them a visit. After I had worked out their home address using their IP and dropped in on them they wouldn’t say much of anything. Oh, that was humour by the way, if anyone’s reading this. Oh, and thinks she’s hard, threatens violence, nothing but a thug really. Sniff. (It’s hard to sniff through a broken nose, though. Oh, tee hee, there goes that humour again). That’s what they would say about me 🙂

  2. BWAHAHAHA
    I cannot IMAGINE what they would say about me what with how I’m so perfect an’ all.
    And by that I mean I am sure they would have endless fodder for how talentless I am and how many capital letters I use like some kind of shouty fishwife.
    Anyway better go, last night it was so cold mey pussy was frozen SOLID!

    xx

    • Oh Slapdash – You are the sister I never had. Make sure you keep your pussy warm tonight.

      • Tee Hee. I just went and had a quick squizz at GOMI just then for the first time. And I will never again. I feel ewky. God I hope nobody tells me if I ever get on there.

      • I’ll fess up that I have been reading it but never ever commented on it. I see it as a way of gauging what (some) people are really thinking about the blogging scene. However as I said to Ace Dennehy, I’ll be to gutless to go there again after this.

  3. Benny Hill. Its been a while…

  4. I got called bogan white trash…which is hilarious..because I constantly call myself that on my blog and social media. No ice needed for that burn.

  5. Bahahaha! You kill me! Like you, I’m not on their radar (or anyone’s for that matter). But I must say that site keeps dragging me in. What would they say…. Mmmmm. ‘She can’t decide what her blog is about… one minute stories about the kids (yawn)… next a grammar rant…and far too much swearing and talking about her mother!’
    Must say, your blog would be fabulous with sound effects Benny!

    • You’re on my radar with your fabulous taste. You’re the only other person I know (well in a virtual sense) who faffs on Deviant Art. Anyhow why should a blog be restricted to one particular topic or theme. That’s dullsville except when the topic is crumpet 😉

  6. It always says so much more about them than the people they think they’re talking about, doesn’t it?

    (Gee, that Mumabulous, thinks she knows her hunks and yet not nearly enough pictures of Jude Law, I mean, what’s with that?).

  7. I think I’ll go and complain you haven’t done any Hugh Jackman for me yet.

  8. 1. What a stupid name for a blog. It’s sooooo self conscious and ridiculous
    2. Tries way too hard to be funny and isn’t
    3. Those pictures she does? What a copy-cat! Everyone does pictures and she has clearly got all her ideas from them.
    PS – no one will ever snark you on GOMI – the snarks will be far too busy gorging themselves on crumpet 😉

    • To these points I say.
      1. Its a better name than Mumabulous
      2. Is funny, refreshing and clever
      3. Ok – Van Gough and Monet both painted. Did they copycat each other?

      • I love the name Mumabulous 🙂 It actually becomes a bit of an earworm for me which means WORKS baby!

        The one thing that strikes me about the GOMI snarks is the sheer WASTE of energy it represents. The responses are often well written and researched. These people are obviously spending a considerable amount of time studying their subject so they are able to come up with a new scathing comment par excellence.

        Imagine if they took even a fragment of the time, energy and dedication and actually used it to CREATE something rather than just tear things down? But that would also take courage which is essentially the difference between a blogger and a snark. The blogger takes a risk and puts it all out there. The snark stays safe behind anonymity but is eaten up with jealousy that they will never be recognized.

  9. Your a very funny lady Brenda, you’ve penetrated my consciousness

  10. Hilarious read this morning thank you!!
    (And so is Slapdash Mama’s comment btw!)
    You gave me more than 1 giggle and I am leaving your blog smiling, awesome.
    I have not seen this GOMI site and I don’t think I want to, bet your version is funnier!.

  11. I don’t know what this GOMI thing is which I think is probably for the best. I’ll tell you something for nothing though, no-one questions Reynolds penmanship NO-ONE you get me.

  12. LMAO! Hilarious!
    I’m sure they would consider me mundane and wishy washy and I post waaaaay too many photos of my twins. Meh. I don’t think I’ll ever get big enough to be on their radars, anyway. Shame. I’m looking for some drama in my mundane life 🙂

    • Grace – if anyone ever bitched about you on GOMI, I would get Dadab to launch a hack attack and bring them down! I love all the photos of your gorgeous boys. I’m thinking we might have to try setting one of them up with my P2. Do they like Spiderman?

  13. Goddamnit I have to stop commenting on your posts inside my head. I come back here and find I have not. All I can say is GOMI SCHMOMI – you keep making me wish we had a bathtub.

  14. Ermigawd! Hilarious. You were robbed in the kidspot thing…. Robbed!

  15. Mumabulous just know you are loved by one middle-aged devotee who lives in Provence and misses Australia but not enough to move back home till I get really old and doddery. In the meantime you remind me of all the crap and good stuff about Sydney. Keep up the good work – us postmenopausal possums still appeciate a bit of crumpet, thank you so much.

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