Do You Need A Nanna Nap?

14 Comments

If you a regular reader of this humble blog you may have noticed two overarching themes. The first is that I have a juvenile preoccupation with hawt actors which is most unbecoming of a woman of my age.  The second is that I am tired. What’s worse is, not only do I feel tired, I look tired! The bags under my eyes are destined to hit my navel before my boobs (such that they are) do.  I know you all get that wrangling small ones, working part time and managing a house with five bathrooms is not a recipe for relaxation but I do feel churlish complaining.  Afterall so many people are working much harder, without family support and doing it with aplomb. Dadabulous is always home to help with the evening routine and I’m getting a full nights sleep. I have no god given right to be this exhausted.  Yet if I dared let my head rest upon the keyboard right now I’d be asleep within minutes. Its 4.30pm and I’m on to my fifth cup of tea!

Why is it that when your youngest child drops their day sleep you feel compelled to pick it up? One afternoon last week, I had errands to run and kids birthday presents to buy but  was simply not up to these menial tasks. I hit the wall at 3.00pm.  I dumped a basket of laundry on my bed and collapsed on top of it without so much as bothering to remove my shoes. The washing pile was deconstructed in much the same manner as Kenneth Branagh would a Shakespearean role ( by lying on it).

So how did Kenny deconstruct Emma's role in Much Ado About Nothing?

How did Kenny deconstruct Emma’s role in Much Ado About Nothing?*

Sadly for me, as I attempted to luxuriate in a sea of pink undies, T-shirts and white school socks, it was a case of nappus interuptus. Every 5 minutes the girls would leave their post in front of You Tube to nag me for food, drink or a new video. It hardly made for a restful experience.  I may as well have done the housework.

The solution, as I see it, is to institute the Spanish siesta model.  In Mumabs land – my  fantasy utopia, a  Nanna nap between 2 and 4pm would be mandatory for everyone. .  The system is afterall working splendidly for the Spanish. Sure their economy is royally screwed but the population looks like this.

Their ridiculous hawtness can be attributed solely to the Siesta.

Their ridiculous hawtness can be attributed solely to the Siesta.

and the entire nation gets to smash tapas and sangria every afternoon.

The joys that await after the siesta.

The joys that await after the siesta.

If that’s not enticement enough for you, they have been known to borrow  from the French and conduct menage a trois with Scarlett Johannsen. ( Perhaps that’s only in the kinky imaginings of Woody Allen?)

Everyone looks like this after  a jug of sangria.

Everyone looks like this after a jug of sangria.

Undoubtedly this would excite my husband (and everybody elses ) but in Mumabs land we’ll swap Penelope and Scarlett  for me and Antonio Banderas. Javier Baredem can stay.

The Spanish also use this daily sojourn to harness their creativity.  Hence we get the surrealist movement and stuff like this.

Soft watch at the moment of explosion by Salvador Dali

“Soft watch at the moment of explosion” by Salvador Dali

This work is particularly resonate as it graphically describes my current relationship to being on time as well as my feelings towards my face. Thank you Mr Dali. Its like you’ve penetrated my soul with your intensely quizzical gaze.

I heartily concur

I heartily concur

So there you have it. The siesta. It’ll make us more attractive, more creative and more open to suggestion (particularly if the suggestion comes from Javier). More importantly a daily nap will help elevate my eye bags back to their natural position ie immediately under my eyes instead of on the floor. Are you in? Do you need a Nanna nap?

Love

Mumabulous

* Not only did I see the Shakespearean screen adaptation – Much Ado About Nothing, I saw it at the now defunct Mandolin cinema which was quite the art house venue in its day. That makes me a card carrying intellectual right? As for Kenneth Branagh – he’s 52 making him age appropriate crumpet. He’s matured rather nicely methinks. Kenny was married to Emma Thompson  before moving through Helena Bonham Carter to the art director Lindsay Brunnock . Geez – and some people think the Aussie Mummy Blogging scene is a circle jerk. Its a little known fact that whenever these British show biz types get together for red carpet event they keep a contingent of  proctologists on standby lest they need surgical extraction from each others proverbials.

Crumpet like wine sometimes ages nicely.

Crumpet like wine sometimes ages nicely.

For those of you who are not on board with middle aged crumpet as a concept here’s Jake G. Who says you can’t please all the people all the time?

Oh my Jake - lets get you out of those wet clothes.

Oh my Jake – lets get you out of those wet clothes.

14 thoughts on “Do You Need A Nanna Nap?

  1. I went to the GP today to order him to send me for blood tests because I am so unrelentingly goddamn tired. Like bone weary. Like I could sleep for a week. I’m sure I’ve got some terrible disease. Lets hope it’s Much Ado About Nothing, though!
    Boom Tish!

  2. I’m not a huge day napper…except when pregnant. Then, please, let me nap! I would use siesta as an excuse to move to Spain though.

  3. Siesta should be mandatory! Most days I beg, BEG for the opportunity to sleep then the kids go to bed and I faff about on the internets and add to my sleep deficit!

    In unrelated news, I did a quick flick through this post before reading because my eyes are blurry (I really should be asleep) and thought I saw another King of Hawt, Gerard Butler! It was your picture of Javier Baredem. I haven’t noticed but they are quite similar, except for their eye colour. If you feel so inclined, throw me a bone in your next post and include Gerard (absolutely no pun intended).

  4. And he is a dead ringer for Denny Duquette from Grey’s Anatomy… twins seperated at birth. Or are they brothers and I’m the only person in the world not to know.

  5. Mumabs you are hilarious. Love your work.

  6. I love, love, love a nap. Its the ultimate luxury and doesn’t cost a dime. I occasionally get one on a sunday afternoon when no-one is about. And today, I may try and summons Jake into my dreamland. Smoldering eyes, clingy shirt, thanks for the inspiration

  7. Love the Brannagh and the Gyllenhal. (Sp? Too lazy to look their names up!). I think my favourite of Brannagh and Thompson together was Dead Again, a fab little movie.

    • Here’s me thinking that Kenny and Jake (I can’t be arsed looking up their sir names either – these boys dont need sirnames) were an either/or proposition for most people.

  8. Yes, Nanna naps for all!!!!

    On a more serious note – have you had your iron levels checked – it is amazing the difference this can make …

  9. I would love a nanna nap, even the thirty seconds it takes to dream(or whatever it is) about a nice bit of crumpet. My children can smell sleep pheromones and have super sensitive hearing and can hear an eyelid drop a mile away.

  10. Bring on the nanna naps. I’m sitting here at 10.30 am with a nanna blanket on my lap and am seriously contemplating a little napette. Might have something to do with a sinus infection and nausea-inducing antibiotics but let’s not go there.

    Now, I’m with Janet here. Do go and get a blood test. Don’t just assume you’re tired because you’re a mum. I missed being diagnosed for months and months with an autoimmune disease because I just assumed I was tired as the mother of a ridiculously overactive toddler.

    It’s more likely to be something as simple as Vitamin D deficiency … and I’m absolutely positive it’s nothing more serious than that, but we need to listen to our bodies. xx

  11. Ha as I read this I am counting the minutes until I can chuck my 2 into bed and have a sneaky nap myself!!
    I am also counting the years untuil the kids leave home or it is legal to kick them out!!

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