Dropping My Balls


This post is going to read like a moan about the work/life balance thing that most of us are desperately trying to achieve. I need to say from the outset that I’ve no  right to complain. I decided to return to work when there was no financial urgency to do so. Lord knows why but the idea of being a pampered Eastern Suburbs’ princess didn’t sit well with me. Maybe I should see a therapist about that. Anyhow I was privileged enough to make a choice that so many people simply don’t have.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way lets get down to some hardcore whinging. It’s taken less than three months of working part time to realize that the following cliches are utterly true;

1) There are not enough hours in the day


2) When you try to do everything you end up doing nothing well


3) Its nigh impossible to keep all your balls in the air whilst riding a uni-cycle.

I might be cartoonish as I am this is not me.

I might be cartoonish as I am, this is not me.

These are the balls that are frequently dropped in Chez Abulous.

The House

When I was a SAHM the housework was an epic struggle. Now it is a war and the house has won. I have surrendered to the dark side making it unnecessary for the Empire to Strike Back. In other words I’ve come to a begrudging acceptance that the house will not look decent until such time as P2 starts school. We will live shambolically until 2015.

I've been seduced by the dark side

I’ve been seduced by the dark side


Mumabulous has zero interest in blogging about her own fitness. The fitness of certain crumpet is an entirely different matter. I advocate imbibing actual candy whilst gazing at eye candy. However since starting  work I have deluded myself that I can quit the gym and scoff whatever I want without consequence. Sadly at age 42 – there is penance to be paid for pleasure. I’m now forced sacrifice good social media time for exercise at 9pm. It’s the only window of opportunity I get.

What I get up to after the kids are in bed.

What I get up to after the kids go to bed

Social Secretarial Duties

In the good ol’d days the Chez Abulous social calender ran like clock work. My approach to event co-ordination and party planning was positively German. Everything was locked in well ahead of time.  I managed to oversee a wedding, two 40th birthdays and a number of lavish children’s parties. These soirees were heralded by hand made invitations no less and Chez Abulous was lavishly decorated. Fast forward to 2013 and Dadab’s 45th birthday is looming large. I had some vague ideas about putting the bar at Chez Abs to its intended use by having the posse over to celebrate. Disappointingly I completely failed to pull my finger out of its cosy nook and Dadabs will have to settle for an intimate dinner for two.  As cruel fate would have it P1’s birthday is a week after her father’s.  I’m insisting on a movie afternoon for a few friend, some cake and nothing more. I can no longer cope with 30 child extravaganzas.

School Spirit

Chez Abs does not smell like school spirit. Our local primary is an absolute hive of social activity but I’ve carelessly shoved getting involved to the bottom of the to do pile. I can only ignore the fundraisers, class get togethers and repeated call outs for volunteers for so long. Its time to get off my lily white posterior and at least front up for canteen duty. The prospect has me trembling with excitement- I can’t tell you.

The Blog

The blog has borne the full burden of my going back to work in terms of quantity and quality. When Mumabulous began almost a year ago I had visions of writing informative yet entertaining articles that involved real research. I hoped that this blog would boost my job prospects rather than render me completely unemployable to anyone expect for maybe Fassbender’s people. Meanwhile George Weston Foods – if you’re interested in talking about Campaign crumpet (and I think you should be) I am still open to suggestion.

The current crumpet mascot is lame

The current crumpet mascot is lame and

we can do better.  Perhaps a little Aaron Eckhardt would help move sales along.



What about you? Are you keeping all of your balls and your husband’s in the air? What is being dropped with alarming regularity? Can you ride a uni-cycle?

Keep juggling.



31 thoughts on “Dropping My Balls

  1. Thanks for the laugh! I’ll be heading back to work next year after back to back mat leave for 2011, 12 and LWOP this year. I’ve already dropped all the balls so I don’t know how next year will go. I have nothing but my sanity left to lose and it’s already hanging by a thread! I had similar goals with my blog, but haven’t even managed a fluff post for about two weeks. Research? Vas ist das?

  2. No. No I am not. I am doing everything really badly. Help.

  3. Aaron Eckhardt is totally gorgeous… just watched him last night in a movie called Last Night with Helena Bonnet Carter. Divine crumpet. OK, All my balls dropped, including my husbands. And, I too am totally not partaking in the never ending class mum get togethers. I don’t mind chatting to a few of them at the school run but buggered if I am wasting my precious nights out to have a dinner at the local Thai with 20 school mums that I don’t really know or have much in common with, when I already have my own fave buddies to do that with. I seriously cannot keep up with all this school mum stuff! I’ve got emails and invitations coming at me daily from kindy and PP and frankly, I’ve had enough. Why can’t the kids just go to school without all the mums having to become BFFs????? Sorry for the rant.

  4. I have dropped my balls, my husbands’, my meatballs, the dog’s balls, the cat’s balls, and anyone else’s whoever put them in my care. The marbles? Still barely safe inside my skull… but walking very levelly.. in case they slip out my ears and roll away too. I have all the serious posts still inside my head. They are great, really. And – every time I see the giant rack of crumpets when I walk into Woolies, I crack up thanks to you Brenda. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Now I even look mental in the supermarket. 😉 x

  5. My house, also, has won. And MissyMoo3 doesn’t start school until 2017. If you don’t hear from me for a while, I might be drowning in a sea of broken happy meal toys. Did I mention I forgot to get stuff for tonight’s dinner? I opened the freezer thinking I had ready-made sauce in there good to go. Unfortunately my fantasy about being organised didn’t include actually doing the cooking… Work tomorrow. MissyMoo1 will be having a lunch order.

  6. Completely get it. I had a cleaner for a while – this was even before I went back to work. Ed works seven days and we live in a two-storey house. I could only maintain the bottom half. Ever thought of hiring a cleaner for a good spring clean once a month? I failing miserably at maintaining a house – it’s certainly something you won’t see in Belle Magazine anytime soon. If I sit down and blog – either the kids or Eddy will get neglected. If I clean – the kids or Eddy get neglected. I do have one child free day a week {granted the kids aren’t sick} so I take turns. One Monday I’ll have a me day – the other – I’ll get this house sorted.

    On the topic of crumpet – I was thinking, can you do a post on French crumpet? I love french men – I also consider Bradley Cooper french as he can speak it fluently with great gusto. It’s hawt! Or can you start a linky of crumpet? That would be hilarious!

    • Bradley Cooper? I’ll see what I can do. Agreed that a crumpet linky would be fun but I doubt it would work because I am the only one doing it. All other bloggers are pure of heart and mind it would seem. I would have to link up with myself.
      Dadabs spent three years in Paris all up. He speaks French well (he would never say fluently) with an amusing Aussie twang.

  7. Hahaha! I barely breathe half the time! I stay at home, but the hours in the day don’t allow me to do anything *just for me* unless I say “fuck this” and pack up and run away for a night unplanned. OgreDad survives, just!

    I don’t need any more balls, just some more time.

    And TimTams with no palm oil.

    As for the schools. I go there enough without having to go there more for other stuff! I’m sure the schools appreciate that! First name basis with all teachers… and I don’t even volunteer for anything! lol

    MC x

  8. I’m a full time worker so my house has been a tip since 2006! My lot are a bit older so I can shout at them to do a few chores around the house. They mostly ignore me but it does make me feel better!

    You’re way more sensible than I was when my kids were younger. I tried to be superwoman for way too long and it made me snarky and resentful. Which was pleasant for everyone.. NOT. You sound like you’ve achieved balance and quite frankly Chez Abulous sounds like somewhere I wouldn’t mind going for a wine or two 🙂

    PS. I am fighting the good fight against “Bloggers Bloat” by getting up at 4.47am three times a week to go to the gym before work. It sounds dreadful but I feel heaps better and may even start to look better if I don’t fall in a heap within a few weeks.

  9. My house is a tip. I give up. I will clean and clean and my house will be pristine for 30 seconds until the baby wakes up from her nap and proceeds to trash the place. Waste of time of blog reading time.

  10. ALL those balls you mention are far too slippery and hard to keep in the air! Especially that exercise one. I really need to forgo social media time for a bit of exercise. I need to physically get that exercise ball out and use it – instead of just looking at fitness instagrammers and sighing 😉

  11. LOL! They sure are slippery balls those ones.
    Yes … I concur

  12. I totally get where you are coming from – suggestion – get someone in once a fortnight to clean ? We gave up some luxuries in order to be able to have someone come in 3 hrs a fortnight to clean – it was a life/relationship saver !!!
    I never volunteered for canteen duty, book reading, craft assistant at school – I worked and couldn’t make it – sorry schools ! (so, see, you aren’t alone in this !!)
    Make a list of things that absolutely have to get done – check it again and cross 2 things off because you will find two things that can wait – and do those things – anything else can wait until you have time and energy and if you only have time or energy – don’t worry about the list !!
    Have the best week you can !
    Love, hugs and positive energy !

    • Yep – the cleaner idea is being bandied about Chez Abs. I want a hawt boy to do the bathrooms, windows and floors and Dadabs wants a bikini girl. We have reached a stalemate.

  13. Haha! Laughed out loud at your The Blog paragraph.

    You are perfectly entitled to a bit of a whinge, as my friend Phil recently said: “Human suffering is not “relative”. It doesn’t matter what the statistics are on natural disasters, or illness, or unemployment, if it happens to YOU it happens %100…” Hear, hear Phil, I say 🙂

  14. I have to agree with ‘Me’ I have a cleaner for 3 hours a fortnight, and while I have to clean in between that I don’t have to do the SHIT jobs. Also B, I think you need to do what I have done, and cut yourself some slack. We can’t do what we used to, it’s just not gonna happen EVER AGAIN! The best we can do is not go completely bad shit mental from trying to be super mums! Personally I think you’re doing okay, so be nice to you, no one else will be!!! Em xx

  15. well i guess i’ve got one up on you in that i don’t have the hubbie to consider (although dating gorgeous bachelor dads does take up precious social media time too) but the rest – i used to do canteen duty but it’s dropped off the list (I sneak my daughter into school now) as with just about everything else – i hate doing the homework, making homemade cakes for my daughter’s lunchbox (I’ve fed her coles’ lamingtons for the past week’s playlunch). So yeah, i getcha 100 per cent.

  16. The bottom line is expectations at school are ridiculously intrusive. Not blaming teachers for that, but something has to change. Do you know how often my parents were at my school? Approximately 7 times in 13 years. Perfect. Also, having worked at a school for 6 years (as a T.A. in Learning Support), I am all for getting parents out of schools. Any help they offer is more than offset by their meddling and hanging around in classrooms has given many parents the wrong idea about how much they know.

    Not saying teachers should have unlimited or unearned respect, but parents are NOT teachesr and they do NOT know what goes on in the classroom just cos they hover over Jenny or Johnny as often as possible.

    You know, I hope, that I am not a “flog my blog on someone else’s comments section” sort of a dude – but it’s a long topic, one I feel fairly strongly about, and I talked about it here – http://www.oculusmundi.com/1/post/2013/01/the-perils-of-parenthood-wherein-we-consider-the-less-joyful-moments-of-primary-school-and-recall-the-delights-of-the-book-week-parade.html too long to take up any more of your comment space so please forgive me this time!

  17. I seriously gave up anything to do with balls long ago … to my poor husbands disappointment. I did try very hard to do it all and be it all, but I ended up failing spectacularly and making a complete ass of myself with yet another meltdown. Currently I am learning to say “shit happens” and “Fuck it” more often and I am enjoying reveling in my midlife crisis. Clearly I have it all together! x

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