Here’s another slightly misleading blog title. This post should be dubbed Dame Shop-alot for there is nothing like a Dame and there’s not much like Mumabulous. However Dame Shop-alot doesn’t have that bad punniness* that so appeals to me hence I’m sticking with “Sir”. Now we’ve cleared that up its time to get back to business.
My previous post was a piece of frippery where I whined about feeling old and crusty compared with the fresh young things of Gen Y. * My body has been ravaged by the hands of father time and I don’t much care for it. I’d much prefer it were ravished by the hands of Damien Lewis. HONK! Yet in the absence of Damien, feeling cranky about aging is not a credible long term solution. Instead I’ve opted for an alternative approach which is also non-viable in the long run but is as an enjoyable a short term fix as I’m ever going to get. I’m currently confronting a frivolous problem with a frivolous strategy. That is I’ve been shopping – alot. Furthermore I’ve been making some impractical (if not age inappropriate) purchases. Would you like to have a peek? Shall I fling open the door to my walk-in closet? Indeed I shall.
The first exhibit for the prosecution is leather embellished spandex pants from Zara.
These are a fail safe choice for a 42 year old who is both vertically challenged and slightly rounded of derriere (NOT) . Team them with my new above the knee high boots,
top them with my cream leather biker jacket (also from Zara)
and I’m ready to kick ass like a Power ranger – the monochrome one. As I have previously alluded to, these boots have no zipper. It makes for a sleek and seamless look. It also makes extracting oneself from them nigh impossible. Which is where the blue and beige power ranger Dadabulous comes in. Fashion must work as a team as do fighters of evil.
My recent clothing shenanigans did not end there. I don’t know what I was thinking when I scooped this up.
The pictured polyester dress with lace panels should be made illegal by the Geneva convention. It is a device of both physical and psychological torture. It strains at the hips and gapes at the waist callously reminding me that I have a figure like a bowling pin. At the same time it is just that little bit too tight requiring that my stomach by sucked in at all times. It rides up when I try to walk any reasonable distance precipitating the very alluring “tug it back down” dance. This item is uncomfortable, impractical and probably unflattering so of course I wear it to work regularly. I team it with my power ranger boots making me a ferocious sight to behold. Thank the Lord I’ve got Dadabulous to help me out of my armor of an evening. Seriously if it weren’t for him I’d be sleeping and showering in this get up.
You may think that one pair of very high boots are enough to get me through winter? Think again. I supported the local micro economy of Westfield Bondi Junction by splashing out on these.
I confess I luuuuuurve them. A mere glance at my bootie enhanced feet brings me the purest kind of bliss. Again these boots take some physical wrangling to get into but they are completely worth the effort for the feeling of fierceness they bring.
The whimsical purchases continued. Last weekend we attended a 40th birthday party at Royal Randwick Racecourse and it would have been quite improper, (downright rude infact) to front up without one of these. Needless to say Ps 1 & 2 think this headgear is the embodiment of awesomeness and both of them rock it with far more chutzpah than I ever could.
Finally, as my sunglasses keep disappearing at an alarming rate, I have been forced to replenish supplies. I’d never ever be without a big colourful pair of sunnies. They cover my wrinkles with fabulousness and are essential equipment for surreptitious crumpet viewing.
Superficial, though it is, these purchases were accompanied by happiness. However as Don Draper says in the final episode of Mad Men Series 5 ” ‘Happiness is the moment before you need more happiness’. I can’t imagine I’ll be satisfied for long. I can already feel a stirring deep within my soul. It won’t be long before it manifests as a pressing urge to go and buy some more Alana Hill style retro cardigans. I simply don’t have enough of those in my life.
Have you bought anything interesting lately?
Shop hard or go home ladies
* I have invented a word. You’ll see it in urban dictionary soon. http://www.urbandictionary.com/. What a brilliant site – you really must have a look
* As a matter of interest, according to the font of all knowledge Wikipedia, Gen Y captures those born between 1983 and 2000. Everyone after that is categorized as Gen Z. That doesn’t any more alphabet for future generations. In 20 years time will we be starting at A again denoting the children of the Ys as Gen A1? Perhaps we wont be interested in categorizing people in such arbitrary ways by then.