Sir Shop-alot

14 Comments

Here’s another slightly misleading blog title. This post should be dubbed Dame Shop-alot for there is nothing like a Dame and there’s not much like Mumabulous.  However Dame Shop-alot doesn’t have that bad punniness* that so appeals to me hence I’m sticking with “Sir”.  Now we’ve cleared that up its time to get back to business.

My previous post was a piece of frippery where I whined about feeling old and crusty compared with the fresh young things of Gen Y. * My body has been ravaged by the hands of father time and I don’t much care for it. I’d much prefer it were ravished by the hands of Damien Lewis. HONK! Yet in the absence of Damien, feeling cranky about aging is not a credible long term solution.  Instead I’ve opted for an alternative approach which is also non-viable in the long run but is as an enjoyable a short term fix as I’m ever going to get. I’m currently confronting a frivolous problem with a frivolous strategy. That is I’ve been shopping – alot. Furthermore I’ve been making some impractical (if not age inappropriate) purchases. Would you like to have a peek?  Shall I fling open the door to my walk-in closet? Indeed I shall.

The first exhibit for the prosecution is leather embellished spandex pants from Zara.

Mumabs goes hell for leather

Mumabs goes hell for leather

These are a fail safe choice for a 42 year old who is both vertically challenged and slightly rounded of derriere (NOT) . Team them with my new above the knee high boots,

Ummmm where's the zipper?

Ummmm where’s the zipper?

top them with my cream leather biker jacket (also from Zara)

Rock chic

Rock chic

and I’m ready to kick ass like a Power ranger – the monochrome one. As I have previously alluded to, these boots have no zipper. It makes for a sleek and seamless look. It also makes extracting oneself from them nigh impossible. Which is where the blue and beige power ranger Dadabulous comes in. Fashion must work as a team as do fighters of evil.

My recent clothing shenanigans did not end there. I don’t know what I was thinking when I scooped this up.

The torture dress

The torture dress

The pictured polyester dress with lace panels should be made illegal by the Geneva convention. It is a device of both physical and psychological torture. It strains at the hips and gapes at the waist callously reminding me that I have a figure like a bowling pin. At the same time it is just that little bit too tight requiring that my stomach by sucked in at all times. It rides up when I try to walk any reasonable distance precipitating the very alluring “tug it back down” dance. This item is uncomfortable, impractical and probably unflattering so of course I wear it to work regularly. I team it with my power ranger boots making me a ferocious sight to behold. Thank the Lord I’ve got Dadabulous to help me out of my armor of an evening. Seriously if it weren’t for him I’d be sleeping and showering in this get up.

You may think that one pair of very high boots are enough to get me through winter? Think again. I supported the local micro economy of Westfield Bondi Junction by splashing out on these.

The shoe selfie

The shoe selfie

I confess I luuuuuurve them. A mere glance at my bootie enhanced feet brings me the purest kind of bliss. Again these boots take some physical wrangling to get into but they are completely worth the effort for the feeling of fierceness they bring.

The  whimsical purchases continued. Last weekend we attended a 40th birthday party at Royal Randwick Racecourse and it would have been quite improper, (downright rude infact) to front up without one of these. Needless to say Ps 1 & 2 think this headgear is the embodiment of awesomeness and both of them rock it with far more chutzpah than I ever could.

A Fass-cinator wears a fascinator.

A Fass-cinator wears a fascinator.

Finally, as my sunglasses keep disappearing at an alarming rate, I have been forced to replenish supplies. I’d never ever be without a big colourful pair of sunnies. They cover my wrinkles with fabulousness and are essential equipment for surreptitious crumpet viewing.

You can't admire crumpet without them.

You can’t admire crumpet without them.

Superficial, though it is,  these purchases were accompanied by happiness. However as Don Draper says in the final episode of Mad Men Series 5 ” ‘Happiness is the moment before you need more happiness’. I can’t imagine I’ll be satisfied for long. I can already feel a stirring deep within my soul. It won’t be long before it manifests as a pressing urge to go and buy some more Alana Hill style retro cardigans. I simply don’t have enough of those in my life.

Have you bought anything interesting lately?

Shop hard or go home ladies

Mumabulous

Oh my - Don Draper is reading Dante's Inferno on the beach. Burn baby burn!

Oh my – Don Draper is reading Dante’s Inferno on the beach. Burn baby burn!

* I have invented a word. You’ll see it in urban dictionary soon. http://www.urbandictionary.com/. What a brilliant site – you really must have a look

* As a matter of interest,  according to the font of all knowledge Wikipedia, Gen Y captures those born between 1983 and 2000. Everyone after that is categorized as Gen Z. That doesn’t any more alphabet for future generations. In 20 years time will we be starting at A again denoting the children of the Ys as Gen A1? Perhaps we wont be interested in categorizing people in such arbitrary ways by then.


14 thoughts on “Sir Shop-alot

  1. My god you are hilarious! Loving the shopping spree by the way…wish my hubby would throw me his fantastic plastic to go do the same 🙂

  2. You’ve outdone yourself. Very nice Mumab. Loving your purchases.

  3. Love it all! Thankfully we don’t have much plastic round here so my purchases never get seen on paper. I also smuggle in new purchases like a Mexican drug lord. Ed has $7 haircuts – and complains when he has to fork out $20 for one. I therefore cease trying to explain why I bought what I did at the time.

  4. Awesome purchases. I’ve been on a shopping rampage too. Buying stuff makes me happy. My bank balance does not. I really need to work on that. V.

  5. Oh GOD Brenda I need to shop!!! Will they take Monopoly money at Zara? TOLD you you’d jump on the leather pants bandwagon 😉 love them. And the jacket. AND the boots. Umm… does that make me generation X? I want boots. Lots and lots of boots.

    • Born in the 1970s – You’re an X! Yes I figured that leather trim pants are essential because one never knows when one’s husband is going to have a mid life crisis and purchase a Harley. Its not looking likely in Dadabs case but I am nonetheless ready.

  6. Loving the jacket, could definately find a hanger in my wardrobe for that baby 🙂 xx Nikki @ Wonderfully Women

  7. Your body might be so-called “ravaged by the hands of time” but if you purchase a pair of ROCKIN spandex pants, well, no sympathy here from me! Loving the boots and biker jacket too.Thanks for the top-up of Don. I am loving the new series hard!

    I found a vintage, aqua, shortish cocktail-y dress. Trying it on, I thought I was safe as the youngens were eating their burgers under Dad’s watchful eye. Until Miss 6 came over and asked me “what was that?” and burger greased me, FRONT AND CENTRE. WAAAAAAH! (Got most of it out.)

  8. OMG, Monochrome Power Ranger – as always you are bloody hilarious.

  9. Oh love that jacket…great work

  10. I ADORE the Urban Dictionary, also super funny to read when you’re drunk. And man you are SO HOT RIGHT NOW! I am a total dag by comparison! Em x

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