Mental Metamucil


A cleansing catharsis was in order this week and by happy co-incidence  the theme for the Lounge Linky was “rants and raves”.  It took me all of three minutes of intensive thought to pony up a few topics to share. These things are the mental equivalent of metamucil because they never fail to give me the shites as it were.

Some things have this effect on the mind and soul.

Some things have this effect on the mind and soul.

Fiscal Whining

If you want to annoy Mumabulous just start making  ignorant comments about the Australian worker being overpaid. I can’t tolerate the argument that our greed and sense of entitlement has made the cost of doing business in this country too high.  Interestingly the individuals who espouse such views NEVER volunteer to take a pay cut themselves. The opposite is true. This sort of person will present innumerable reasons as to why they are adding significant value and deserve every cent they earn plus a  truck load more whereas adding $16 per week to the minimum wage will grind Australian business into the ground. Such folk urgently need a good hard spanking.

Don't make me use the wooden spoon.

Don’t make me use the wooden spoon.

Even more loathsome are the people who moan about their excessive tax burden. It shouldn’t be necessary to point out that if you are paying a truck load of tax its because you are earning a truck load of money. I’ve no doubt that you worked hard and are intellectually superior to the average bear. In my view your brains and work ethic should not preclude you from contributing to society. All too often these people justify their self indulgent whining with an uneducated argument about their tax dollar going to support dole bludgers and single mothers. Things like schools, hospitals, infrastructure, defense, and the old aged pension never seem to rate a mention.

My irritation motivated me to do some cursory research. It took around three Google clicks to arrive at the information needed to shut down these over taxed whingers down before they get warmed up. Here is the summary of Federal Government expenditure for 2012-13.

from The Conversation Website

from The Conversation Website

You can see that 22% of government spending last year was on welfare. Of this seniors and family support took the most sizeable chunk of the pie. The “workforce” category takes up less than a quarter of the welfare segment. That’s less than 5% of your tax dollar being handed out to dole bludgers and single parents so that they can go and blow the lot on booze, fags and the pokies*.

If you’ve got an opinion about how tax dollars could be better utilized I’m happy to hear it. Better still if you have a view about how to simplify our cumbersome tax system please speak up. However if you are merely going to complain about how its so unfair that you are propping up the dregs of society, zip it now.

My sentiments exactly Dr Evil!

My sentiments exactly Dr Evil!

Motivational Posts on Social Media

Most of the time I feel reasonably happy. I go about my business on a fairly even keel enjoying small pleasures like watching the waves crash over the headland, that first sweet, sip of cappuccino in the morning and catching a sly glance at my favorite barista. Then I scroll through Facebook and shite like this literally cascades through my news feed. My pleasant but hardly ecstatic demeanor swings into straight out rage and its all I can do not to punch a hole through the screen. Seriously? When it comes to rock climbing your greatest accomplishment IS never falling. That should be self evident.


Rock climbing? Aint nobody got time for dat!

Please people there’s only so much inspiration, motivation and wisdom us mere mortals can take. If you want to spread good vibrations via your favorite social media platform make sure your rainbows are accompanied by a generous dose of Colin Firth. Don’t know about you but I’m feeling so uplifted I just might burst into song….

Oh my. Sunshine and lollypops and rainbows and everything that's wonderful.

Oh my. Sunshine and lollypops and rainbows and everything that’s wonderful.

Johnny Depp

During my youth I spent many a lonely Saturday evening watching 21 Jump St quietly praying that Officer Tom Hanson would visit my campus. Over the weekend Johnny Depp turned 50. That is simply unacceptable.  What’s more he appears absurdly youthful. He’s either entered into some kind of shady deal with the devil or he has found the elixir of youth and is keeping it all to himself.  I say we break down his firewall and force him to share.

He's rolled the elixir of youth and he is smokin'

He’s rolled the elixir of youth and he is smokin’

What’s been your mental Metamucil this week?

Maintain the rage


* I’m not saying this isn’t a problem.

32 thoughts on “Mental Metamucil

  1. Jonny Depp

    That is all

  2. Re the money bit, absolutely completely agree. And inspirational tweeters give me the dry heaves.

  3. Gahhh, the asterix at the bottom of a post that has me scrolling dementedly up and down the page trying to find what it referred to!!! Seriously though – the inspirational/motivational updates on FB make me want to repeatedly slap people (oh, and I’m always available to help with the Johnny Depp thing!).

  4. Your comment about rock-climbing and not falling is PERFECT. Not that much makes me chuckle out loud (maybe I’m some kind of repressed) but that sure did.

  5. I agree with Johnny Depp, and the other one is Leo – while not a pervy fan, I sat during Gatsby thinking “That’s it, you’ll actually never age – you are an adult now and you look exactly like you did 20 years ago” But can you imagine the ugly mother of a portrait in his attic….(why isn’t is father f**ker?)

  6. Inspirational FB posts are annoying but let’s talk about politics. I’ve made a decision that, as we head towards what will be the biggest voting rout in Australian federal political history, I’m not going to keep my political beliefs quiet any more. Maybe it is my current nervous breakdown I’m enduring, maybe it is that I’m just sick of some of the shit I read on the big blogs around the Aussie blogosphere and all the sycophants that kiss the arses of those that speak out in the name of feminism.

    On a global scale, Aussie professionals do not get paid nearly as much as their o/s counterparts. Anyone who has actually lived and worked overseas would know that. Eg, I have two friends who are Phd scientists. To earn any money and to get the grants they needed in order to do any serious work (breast cancer research) they had to go o/s…. to Scotland. WTF?

    Yes, our welfare system is unfair. I absolutely agree that our pensioners should be paid more and the recent changes to the single parents benefits were, as usual, woefully managed by this incompetent government.

    Now here comes the problem: Every other day we turn on our tellies or read the paper and some manufacturing company is closing down. Think the car manufacturing industry or textiles co’s having to sack Aussie workers to have the same work done offshore because it is cheaper than paying the time and a half, double time, triple time, etc negotiated by Australian unions. The unions in this country have too much power and have made it unaffordable for a manufacturing industry in this country. Gillard and co have sent this country’s manufacturing sector back to the pre Hawke/Keating era!

    Now, I could could keep going and talk about the farming sector, which was brought to its knees by the knee jerk reaction of this fucking up govt to a TV show no less and that now sees 100,000s of animals dying in starvation and farmers killing themselves in despair. Who thinks those farmers get paid a lot? Are they getting the help they need to stave off the impending catastrophe in Northern Australia? No this shithead govt spent all the money on pink batts, rorted school hall construction and a carbon tax and ‘green industry’ at the same time as giving millions to the car manufacturing industry to keep the unions happy only for it to fall apart anyway!!

    Anyway, massive rant there. So I half agree with you. A huge number of Aussies don’t get paid a lot but a huge number get paid too much. A young uneducated kid selling clothes in Pitt Street Mall can earn twice as much per hour a Sunday than a physiotherapist, with years and years of education and training can earn in the same time on a Monday.

    It’s just not right.


    • Wow Vanessa. Some great and well considered thoughts here. I completely agree that the Government squandered money propping up the car industry when it wasn’t sustainable in this country.
      You are a good writer Vanessa and an intelligent lady. You have the courage to take a stand which not everyone will agree with. I’d love to see more of this stuff on The Babbling Bandit.

  7. Paul and I talk about the state of the economy and industry quite regularly and both agree that maybe if the government made it harder for giant companies to outsource their labour and resources, then we wouldn’t have an issue with closing industries. I don’t think unions have completely fucked everything, because without them my Dad would have had to take a huge pay cut, and relinquish his extra perks. At the time (he’s changed roles now) he was doing 3 jobs but only being paid for one and was working 13 hour days, more if there was a funeral as he is also the council appointed undertaker. For the record, the perks he would lose were only a car, which he needed for his extra duties outside work hours. In the town that my parents live, the SES is also run and funded by local government. My dad is the Local Controller. This means that any time there is a flood, fire (he is also in the fire brigade) or rescue he needs his car to be able to attend these. In a flood this includes hourly checks of the river, which are then called into Main Roads. All of this is on his own time. So do I think the average Australian worker is underpaid? Fucking yes.

  8. Weeeeee! Can of worms! But my head hurts today so I’m going to complain with you gleefully about the motivational posts that make me want to hurl my lunch at the screen – AFTER I’ve digested it. It doesn’t make me motivated. It tells me nothing new. ANd anyone who’s changed their life after reading one of these trite snippets needs to have their life examined. I know Johnny Depp’s secret. He has the magic stretchy skin. I don’t know where to get it. I just know I need it.

    • Yes all you say is so true but surely even you appreciate my “somewhere over the rainbow Colin Firth rocks a white shirt” picture. I think it needs to be on Facey dont yout?

  9. It’s almost time for the football training drop-off so I don’t have much time to comment but Colin Firth and the rainbow? Eeek. Robo no likey that pic. AT ALL!! It doesn’t look right! Thankfully you had Mr Depp in there to make everything alright again. He’s 50 huh? Where have all those years gone?

    • Great minds dont always think alike it seems. I’m luuuuurving the idea that the end of every rainbow there’s Colin Firth looking hawt in a white shirt. I wonder how long they stood around that field waiting for the rainbow to happen or if it were spontaneous. Heck its probably photo shopped.

  10. I adore this post, and it’s very well written B. I agree, I’m sick of hearing how much tax all these big earners have to pay, and quite frankly the welfare system in Australian is pitiful compared to NZ, if you want something for nothing, live there!
    I also used to ADORE Johnny Deep, what a spunk nut – and such an amazing actor.
    Finally – TOTALLY agree with all those motivational posters, kill me, they won’t spur me off to stop scoffing myself, or go out and run. I love those that make me laugh.
    Thanks for the Johnny perve – xx Em x

  11. God those inspirational posts on FB are the worst. THE WORST! I HATE THEM! THEY CAN SHOVE IT! I’LL GIVE THEM INSPIRATIONAL! And so forth.
    I agree with all your points. Love this post. Love you and everything you stand for. MWAH!

  12. Oh I share your rage on the first point. What really riles me is that the people who are usually espousing these views are the least informed people on the subject, and their colossal arrogance is only matched by a similar level of ignorance.

    Johnny Depp has clearly sold his soul but when you look that good then you’ve obviously gotten a fantastic trade in for it 😉

  13. Don’t get me started, it’s family crap that I don’t want to hear about, but have to. I feel like banging some heads together, but fear it won’t do any good anyway, just open some cans of worms instead of whoop ass. I spent many a teenage night dreaming of J Depp, or one of his equally lavish ‘brat pack’ mates coming and ravashing me…yeah.. dream on 😉

  14. Another great post! I wish you were running for parliament this year – would much rather listen to you talk about fiscal matters than those other twerps and their perpetual leadership spills! And Johnny Depp, what can you say? Maybe it’s working with Tim Burton that keeps him young – forever in fairy tale land?

  15. I did have a bunch of outrage to vent, but then I got to the bottom of your post and lo and behold, Mr Depp looking extremely saucy and now I’m all distracted and forget what I came in here for…

  16. I don’t think it’s a good idea to combine the phrase ‘good hard spanking’ and a picture of Johnny Depp in the one post – it’s too much for my head. And I agree – Can I vote for you as prime minister?

    • Ha ha ha ha. You feel the need to give Johnny a spanking – he deserves it for hiding the elixir of youth from us all. Sure you can vote for me for PM. If you do el mucho infrastructure will be built – by crumpets. And I will officially institute an afternoon siesta.

  17. Oh thank you for a dose of Colin – you’ve made my day 🙂

  18. Mental Metamucil – Freaking Love it. Amen to the fiscal whinging too – that just does my head in and the moaning helps no-one so I end up thinking – Just Shut The Truck up! hmmm rant over – youre right, that actually feels really good. xx

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