Hammering Hamo


As you may have gathered from my recent stream of pretentious Facebook feeds Team Abulous have just returned from vacationing on Hamilton Island – or “Hamo” as the cognoscente affectionately call it. Hamo is a playground for the privileged and a mecca to the middle class holiday maker.  What a fine thing it is to fit snugly within the latter demographic. Being a middle class holiday maker is “like soooooooooo awesome man”.

A mecca for the middle class

A mecca for the middle class

Up until this point we’ve been reluctant to fly Team Abulous as a family unit. Flying is an over rated experience and is only getting worse. ( Dare I say the in-flight experience is descending ?) You’re crammed sardine style into narrow seats that can barely accommodate a size 10 posterior, comforted only by stale sandwiches and lukewarm tea. As for airplane lavatories – why would anyone want to shag Ralph Fiennes in there? I can’t think of a less erotic location. Add a restless six year old and whinging three year old and you’ve got a recipe for hard core parental discomfort.  It took some hefty incentivisation to over come our resistance. This came in the form of an invitation from my brother in law (Uncle M) . He had taken some time out to sail his yacht up there (as you do) and asked us to join him and his family. This meant a holiday where our girls could play with their cousins. The kids would self amuse relieving us of the burden of having to entertain them. Ah Queensland beautiful one day, perfect the next. We were on webjet booking our tickets faster than you can say “mile high hostie”.

A broad range of accommodation and facilities were built on Hamo but I’m not sure how it happened. The place is not conducive getting any work done. The minute I stepped out on to the tarmac and felt the balmy afternoon air I became acutely aware of the lack of an alcoholic beverage in my hand.

We rocked up to what we thought were the most suitable accommodations only to find the gates were malfunctioning. Damn technology.

They wouldn't let Team Abulous in.

They wouldn’t let Team Abulous in.

We compromised by taking up residence in the aptly named Panorama apartments just a brief buggy ride down the hill.

The panorama from the back deck of Panorama

The panorama from the back deck of Panorama

Once we dumped our luggage it was straight to the marina to board the family yacht where my obliging sister in law placed an over full glass of pink champagne in my hand. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

If you are going to drink pink champagne you simply must do it on a yacht in this marina

If you are going to drink pink champagne you simply must do it on a yacht in this marina

We followed up with a few more drinks whilst taking in the magnificent sunset and pretty soon I was hammered on Hamo. Sadly the following morning I was hung over on Hamo. Its a good thing that we chose to spend most of that day arse sitting whilst the kids played. My hang over also provided the perfect excuse to not get in the pool.  It proved to be the predominant theme for the entire trip. There is much action to be had on Hammo if you’re into water sports but we used the kids as our rationale to avoid it, choosing to arse sit instead. We achieved some quality arse sitting over the course of the week.

A quick learner - P1 has her first experience of the pool bar

A quick learner – P1 has her first experience of the pool bar

When we did manage to get to our feet we did a ferry ride out to Daydream Island – where we experienced a poo incident. I thought we had gotten past that literal shit but alas. I was forced to purchase P2 a clean outfit from the over priced gift store. The following day we did the breakfast with the koalas at the island zoo. We also intrepidly explored the terrain in our buggy. All visitors to the island get their very own electric golf cart. It takes a skilled hand and nerves of steel to master these machines – particularly when they hit their maximum warp speed of 20 kph.  Apparently there have been fatalities

No one has ever seen Dadab and The Stig in the same room. Co-incidence?

No one has ever seen Dadab and The Stig in the same room. Co-incidence?

Just when we thought our chance had passed we went and saved the best for last – that is we put the girls into the kids club on our final day. Why we did not do this sooner is a mystery. Actually its not. It can be explained by the tightness of the derrières  we had been sitting on for most of the week. The girls were  eager to ditch their daggy parents for some cool young child care workers, an embarrassment of craft and a jumping castle. Meanwhile Mum and Dadabulous enjoyed a glorious morning of freedom hiking through the rain forest and lunching at the very fancy Hamilton Island yacht club.

Al fresco tapas at the yacht club

Al fresco tapas at the yacht club

We’ve been home for two days now and all four of us are getting back into our regular routines. The girls have a hectic schedule of playdates and parties, Dadabs is finalizing the end of year accounts and I’m atoning for my hot chip consumption at the gym. Its almost as if the holiday never happened. Still I find myself wistfully leafing through the free NRMA magazine and dreaming of our next escape. I’m in favor of something a little out of our comfort zone like Bali or NZ. However we’ll probably end up doing that other middle class rite of passage – the theme parks of the Gold Coast. It will no doubt inspire a blog post with a cheesy title like “Going for Gold on the Goldie”. Be sure to look out for that one.

How have your school holidays been?



20 thoughts on “Hammering Hamo

  1. If you go for Gold on the Goldie and you don’t have a drink with me I will never forgive you.

    • Same. Sarah, I vote we round-up Emily Have-a-laugh and kidnap her for an evening of debauchery. The Gold Coast may never recover….

      I’d also like to introduce my older two boys to Dadabs. They are both very interested in “coding” and have downloaded some software called “Scratch” which allows them to “code” their own games. God knows Brook and I only understand one word in every 10 when they start on this, so it would be nice for them to meet someone who could talk their language so to speak!

      • Perhaps we could swap your boys for our girls 😉
        Yep – I would love to go drinks with the QLD crew – the SE QLD bloggers are the best.

      • I think we just HAVE to do it soon – come on mumabs get up here – make up some meeting/conference etc. I can’t wait til Sept @ Problogger. Thanks for thinking of me Rach – love ya guts x

    • You lot better keep me in the loop!

    • I could not live with that Sarah – therefore I will solemnly agree to have a drink with you when I find myself on the Goldie.

  2. Sounds lovely. Ours have been much quieter, but very pleasant, lots of sleep overs, play dates, movies, a trip to Infinity. Hamo looks groovy though 🙂

  3. It’s been too long since I was in Queensland! Hubby and I spent a week on Long Island on our honeymoon, we hung around Hamo for a few hours while waiting for our flight home. I dare say we won’t get back there without the kids, kids club sounds like the go.

  4. Well, Brenda, my holidays certainly haven’t been like yours… I live for swim-up pool bars. And umbrella drinks, of course. They don’t taste the same without the umbrella. Glad you had a warm break. x

  5. So jealous! Sounds like an awesome family holiday. I’ve been to Hamo once, back in 2005. It was for a friend’s wedding and I flew back from London for it (they are now long divorced). Glorious weekend with lots of fun and frivolity of the alcoholic kind. No one would let me drive a buggy so next time I go I’ll be sober and I plan to ride that island like a speed racer… at 20kph. V.

  6. Jealousy is rife here. The last holiday that involved accommodation (staying at the inlaws house and not doing anything except going shopping does not count) was with my parents to Coolangatta and it was a complete disaster. I hope to have a do over (minus child) in September and I cannot wait.

  7. Sigh. Would you believe I once worked as a tour guide in the Whitsundays. I was literally paid to snorkel. Totally agree that the balmy weather is conducive to alcohol consumption. Let’s paint the Goldie red!

  8. I am a big fan of arse sitting on a holiday.
    Adventure? No thanks. Give me a pool and a cocktail and I am a happy girl!
    I hope your transition back to reality is going smoothly!

  9. Sigh. Sigh. I need a Hammo holiday so freakin bad. x

  10. Hammo! Hubby and I went there for our honeymoon 8 years ago. And just to continue the middle class rites of passage, we’ve booked a summer holiday to the Gold Coast for some theme park action in January. Woo!

    Glad you had some quality arse-sitting time ☺

  11. Sounds like a much-needed and well deserved break away hun. Sucks being hung, but sounds like you were able to keep gorgeous and hydrated 🙂 Love that part of Qld x

  12. Sounds like a recent trip to tropical paradise that we just experienced. Despite the pre-trip aspirations of sightseeing and exploring, of which there was some, our trip mainly comprised of arse-sitting too. I’m with you on that one! Visiting via the Rewind.

  13. The perfect place for a break, hope you’re feeling recharged 🙂

  14. Looks great. Glad you had a good time. I’m encouraged to hear you survived the flight experience – we haven’t taken to the skies with our tribe yet! I live a mere hour in freeway traffic from the Gold Coast theme parks and still haven’t taken the kids there either! Not sure if this means I have to hand over my middle class membership card. We should organise blogger drinks on the Goldie if you do it though!

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