Two nation shaping events – The Federal Election and my 43rd birthday are occurring within a week of each other. As both are somewhat depressing I feel I have the right to be just a little bit cranky. Hence this week’s rant. I hereby declare that I am officially over the following things.
The same sex marriage debate
Why are we still discussing this in 2013? The only argument the conservatives can come up with is that it undermines the sanctity of marriage. With one in three conventional marriages ending in divorce, I think straights have done an effective job ruining its “sanctity”. Its time to give gays the right to make the same mistake as everybody else.
The Republic debate
We all know that we will cut our ties with Britain eventually so let’s get it out of the way. I do not want my future grandchildren to have to endure the same old tiresome arguments. You know the drill – about the constitutional monarchy not being broke so don’t fix it versus as an independent nation we deserve our own head of state yada yada yada. Lets end this thing once and for all the next time a referendum comes around. Besides breaking our constitutional ties with the British monarchy does not mean we cant enjoy the antics of that loveable (and very crumpety) scamp Prince Harry.
The Murdoch press
My opinion and expectations of this publishing powerhouse were already extremely low but with this recent effort they’ve plunged right through the bedrock and are sinking steadily towards the earth’s core.
I guess given that in the proceeding weeks Murdoch had been showering us with shite like this, I should not have been surprised let alone disappointed. But yet I was.
The sad fact is that Murdoch has influenced my vote. I was all set to “kick that mob out” for a number of what I believe are rational reasons. However now I am tempted to vote for the ALP just to spite Rupert. That’ll “stick it to the man” and the prospect of voting against Tony Abbott causes me zero distress. Needless to say I will no longer pay for Newscorp content.
I have a begrudging admiration for her business acumen but she is nonetheless irritating. She seems to be absolutely everywhere from my Facebook sidebar to the exterior of city buses barking at me to “back myself”.
The problem is that “backing myself” involves being subjected to three months of starvation and torture whilst paying her $20 per week for the privilege. You can call me a sad, petty little individual but when Michelle recently broke up with her knuckle headed toy boy (Commando? What’s up with that? Does he not wear under garments?) my inner voice impersonated Nelson Muntz – “Ha ha”.
Television in general
I have not abandoned the television based on intellectual snobbery – although a compelling case can be made there. Its more about the location of the TV within Chez Abulous. TV viewing means abandoning the interwebs, and making the epic trek down the stairs and up the hallway. I simply cant be bothered. On those rare occasions when I am reunited with television I find my tolerance for it is greatly reduced. Its like taking up drinking again after a 9 month abstinence (something we are all familiar with). I cant abide the ads. Even the ABC promos shite me to tears. Also over the past few years the Australian televisual landscape has become something of a “God’s waiting room”. It is where has-been pop stars go to die.
Something I’m NOT over but would love to get under
Whilst I can’t condone tobacco smoking, Fass never bothers anyone for a light. The durries spontaneously ignite upon contact with his lips because (say it with me) Michael Fassbender is freakin’ HAWT!
What are you completely over this week ? Is there anything you’d care to get under?
PS: Dont smoke Fass. Its bad for your health. Come have some tiramisu washed down with sauternes with me instead. No shirts required.