Crumpet With Vegemite – Top Aussie Blokes
If you come here often as the cheesy line goes, you’ve probably noticed that I have a penchant for floppy haired Brits (but NOT Hugh Grant). It is most unpatriotic and runs contrary to my real life experience. To borrow from the (British and crumpety) folk singer Billy Bragg – I’ve had relations with boys of many nations but I’ve found the homegrown product to be vastly superior. Its time Mumabulous raised a glass of the finest Barossa red to our fair dinkum Aussie blokes.
When thinking about this country’s hawtest exports, the following come straight to mind.
I have absolutely no problem with any of the above and believe they should be flogged mercilessly to developing nations. However there is a veritable smorgasbord of others who deserve our attention. Here are some of my choices from the well stocked buffet table.
Back in the 1980s who would ever have imagined that the truly awful low budget soap Neghbours would bring us two of our most successful pop stars (I’m talking about the Blakeney twins) and arguably our best actor?* Not only does Guy Pearce tick all my usual boxes – razor sharp cheek bones, disheveled wavy hair, lean and hungry frame etc, etc, he is an actor of considerable talent. What’s more he often makes more cerebral choices in the roles he tackles whilst at the same time not eschewing the big budget block busters – proving he is not an intellectual snob.
Hamish and Andy
You may think this is a strange choice given my disdain for commercial TV and radio but c’mon – Hamish and Andy are gorgeous! When Andy was dating Megan Gale it was oft commented that he was “punching above his weight”. In my opinion however, courting dudes as adorable as Andy Lee is one of the great perks of being a supermodel. Megan may have infact been punching above her weight (which is not difficult given her super slimness).
You knew I was going to mention this one – didn’t you? David Wenham is the archetypal Mumabulous crumpet. Red hair – check, edgy indie, art house credentials – check, charmed Sigrid Thorton in Seachange – check and displayed some impressive abdominal action in the film “300” – (Oh My!) CHECK!
I have special affection for David as he is the actor who most closely resembles my husband. In fact he has already been cast to take the lead role in Dadabulous – The Movie. What an edge of your seat thrill ride that promises to be.
Richard Roxburgh as Cleaver Greene came straight from heaven’s casting couch. Can you imagine being seduced by this silver tongued, sleazeball lawyer? I could and frequently do. I’d regret in the morning but isn’t that half the fun?
The camera loves some people but is quite unjust to others. William McInnes falls into the latter category. I had the joy of seeing him in Don Juan at the Sydney Opera House eons ago during the Singleabulous era. I can therefore happily report to you that whilst attractive on screen, William McInnes is absurdly smokin’ hawt in person. He’s got an indefinable charisma that hits you from way across the room. It doesn’t hurt that he is built like a splendid oak tree. I spent the entire performance wanting to climb it and swing from the branches. The fact that he is also a successful writer with a number of newspaper columns and several books to his name does nothing to lessen my ardor.
Well cobbers there’s more crumpet than you can poke a stick at in our wide brown land. I’ve been flat out like a lizard drinking trying to narrow this list down to just a handful. But strewth – I just cant. Here’s some honorable mentions.
The entire AFL code
The Chaser Team
Who are your favourite Aussie crumpets?
C’mon Aussie, C’mon
* On par with the excellent Geoffrey Rush in my opinion.