Easier

31 Comments

I’ve refrained from writing about motherhood on this blog for some time. It’s a bit of an anomaly as I fit squarely within the “Mummy blogging” category. There’s basically two reasons for the general absence of P1 and P2 from these pages.

Firstly, if GOMI has had any influence its to make me think carefully about how I portray my children on line. Unfortunately for him my husband has been afforded no such luxury. Dadabs life is open slather for your entertainment. Secondly I’ve been at this motherhood gig for over six years now. Frankly I need some headspace. Mumabulous has become about escapism. Its a place where I can freely talk about things which I find a) cool, b) interesting and c) crumpety (In the case of Prof Brian, tick option d) all of the above).

I’m coming back to the topic of parenting, because there seems to be a number of folk out in blog land who are currently doing the hard yards with that deadly combination of infant and toddler. I’m moved to offer up hope. It really does get easier. Now that my girls are 6 and almost 4 its phenomenal just how much easier my life has become. That’s not to say its easy.

I have moments in each day where I really think I would be better off in a stationary position bashing my head against the wall. Trying to get the girls dressed and out of the house on time is like herding cats.

I'm going to call these guys.

I’m going to call these guys.

I can barely get a run on my own computer when they are home and they regard me as some kind personal valet, maid and short order cook combined into one very weird hybrid. Only last week the dreaded lurgy visited the house. I was NOT reveling in how much easier my life has become whilst P1 sprayed vomit up and down the corridors of Chez Abs.  It was unfun. Running away to Byron is always an option but it was front of mind last week.

Byron - its always an option.

Byron – its always an option.

A really, really good option!

A really, really darn good option!

Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself of just how far we’ve progressed. The pace seems glacial at times but ever so slowly I’m getting my life and my mind back. The girls play together and are discovering a talent for entertaining themselves. I can participate in social life again involving myself in adult (although with some of our friends its really very juvenile) conversation whilst the girls are occupied by the other children.  I have the luxury of a full night’s sleep and time away from the kids. Gradually I’m rediscovering the simple pleasure of being able to listen to my own radio station and to read again. My brain is starting to return rational and cohesive thoughts. Cognition – how I have missed you! The next step is to get myself out a bit more because for anyone who regularly reads this blog its obvious that I need to!

If you are on struggle street with small kids and it seems like the tedium will never end, take heart. It will probably never be easy until such time as they buy an open ended ticket to Europe but it will get easier.

Are things improving for you?

A dynamic duo

A dynamic duo

P2 - Look up "cheekiness" in the dictionary and this is what you'll see.

P2 – Look up “cheekiness” in the dictionary and this is what you’ll see.

And look up flamboyant...

And look up flamboyant…

Love

Mumabulous

31 thoughts on “Easier

  1. Yes it gets easier, but then it gets harder again! By the time they hit grade 5 there’s a shift into independence: you actually have to parent them! Once we hit high school…look out! Kids need you more as they age believe it or not. They also get untidier and sneakier! It’s a whole new chapter of woes then!

  2. Firstly, your girls are gorgeous! I’m glad things are improving for you.

    I’m probably the odd one out here (story of my life) but now that I’m 12 years into this parenting gig, I think I actually preferred it when they were babies. Yes, it was hard but I find that all the organisational skills and socialising that is required as children grow older is challenging for me. That’s just because of my personality and my Asperger’s, of course. Next year I become the mother of a teenager, so it’s going to become more intense. Hold me.

  3. They are so CUTE! I think it is getting easier but I am still kind of in the trenches with an 18 month old and 4 year old. I rarely get time to read. I miss it.

  4. It gets easier, it gets harder, it all depends on what kind of parent you are (and I don’t mean good or bad – we’re all awesome! I mean some people blitz the wee baby but struggle with the augumentative toddler, some hit their strides with the toddler but struggle with the teen.) Never doubt it will get better, and if it’s all bliss, never doubt your turn will come. That’s what I say. But it’s too late to give them away…;)

  5. Love this post, it rings true with me B – but mainly because if our plan was formulated correctly I would have a 3.5 and nearly 5.5 year old and we’d be on easy street. However, a gorgeous third born took us by surprise so I’m still in ‘not so easy, kill me most days’ street!!! No it’s not that bad, but it wasn’t the plan and I suppose that’s what I have to get my head around more than anything else. However, I am very very happy that life is easier for you, because it means, one day it will be for me also – hugs Em x

  6. I agree with you except that we were exactly the same as Emily (hi Emily!) and that third little ‘blessing’ threw a big dirty nappy in the works. At 6 and 5, the other two have their challenges, but you are right that things with them are so much better now that they’re that little bit more independent and able to tell you what’s going on in their freaky little minds. My toddler tornado is gorgeous too, of course – it’s not his fault that I often feel too old to run after him! I’m trying to savour every moment of his babyhood whilst also longing for him to hit that magic 4!

  7. I think it’s physically harder the younger they are, and emotionally harder as they get older. I know I’m finding it much more difficult now than I did before. Somethings are easier, but there is also the great awareness that I have little people who are fast growing up and need a lot of guidance a long the way

  8. Such an important public service you’ve performed today Mabs, and I can second your thoughts that yes, 4 and 6 IS easier, and perhaps even enjoyable at times. Still cute, but able to self-toilet.

  9. I’m just looking for the breather between toddler tanties and hormonal teens. Still waiting! (I must add, however, that a big gap between kids was (though worrisome at the time) the best thing I’ve ever done. Two in nappies and different sleep times would have done me in. #teamIBOT

  10. Mine are 3 and 6 months, and it gets easier every day. But 6mo will start crawling soon. Aaaaargh…

    And GOMI. Haven’t visited. Wouldn’t know how to! I don’t think my blog is anywhere near big enough to ever get a mention over there, but you’ve got me intrigued. What’s the G.O. with having kids’ names? Am I going to GOMI hell?

    • I admit that I read GOMI regularly. I feel the need to take a shower every time but there’s a dark fascination about it – a bit like a car wreck that you can’t avert your eyes from. Rest assured you NOT going to Gomi hell. Only if you do a misleading sponsored post will you go to GOMI hell.

  11. I only have to look back about 4 years to realise how much easier things are now. The main thing that used to stress me was coming home from work with them all and everyone being hungry RIGHT NOW. I used to nearly kill myself trying to get dinner organised while they whinged and tried to climb me! The funny thing was I was still coming in and stressing about getting dinner ready as soon as possible up until earlier this year, when I finally realised they’d grown up and were actually able to wait until about 6.30pm to eat. They’d changed, but I was still acting like they were toddlers!

  12. mmm Byron and bubbly – a darn good option indeed! I remember that moment when my brain started returning rational thoughts … and then I went and had another baby and sent them packing again! I agree, having a blog is so good for head space and escapism.

  13. oh she is cheeky indeed! Love the look on her face and that pretty dress.

    PS: Win yourself an Urban Rituelle stretch mark cream on my blog today: http://www.underlockandkeyblog.com/2013/10/review-urban-rituelle-mumma-bubba.html

  14. Yes, I agree it does get easier. The older they get the more independent they are and you gradually get back a little time for yourself. Of course the challenges never go away, just change. Nice post 🙂

  15. Oh such reassuring words to hear – as I swear all I hear is that the ages just get harder, wait till she hits teens, then you’ll know what hard is – this way of always one-upping you on the difficulty between years you’re yet to get to. Thanks for sharing and great to hear parenting isn’t your ENTIRE focus – there’s rooms for other passions to creep back in 🙂

    • I think the teenage “hard” is an entirely different type of struggle. I am not particularly looking forward to teen angst but I’m not fretting about it either.

  16. I shot myself in the foot. I did the hard yards with 2 who were 18 months apart (I retained my sanity….just) and then, when they were 6 and 4 and getting easy BAM I go and have another one. WTF was I thinking? I am taking on board the other comments on here about other aspects of parenting getting harder as they get older but for now things are finally starting to settle down again (although Miss 3 is more full on than her siblings were put together at the same age!!!)

  17. It’s a roller coaster journey that’s for sure and one that I sometimes laugh out loud and other times I scream at the top of my voice ‘I just want to get ooooooofffff!’ I think it does get easier in some ways and harder in other ways. But I secretly admit I am so glad the toddler days are over!

  18. This put a smile on my dial. I hope what you say also goes for twins. For now, I’m not so much finding it easier…but just different. Other twinnie mums tell me it gets easier…but my head is still in such a fog, I can’t help but feel skeptical every time I hear it.

  19. Trust me it never gets easier… just different. And, that ticket to Europe brings oh so many new worries and anticipations 🙂 But despite it all I wouldn’t change things for a moment (well maybe a weekend or two lol)

  20. I have a 8, 6 and 3. Physically, it really does get easier! Today I had a ‘strike’ day – I did no mothering at all (except to deal out a few kisses). The kids organized their own lunch (cocoa pops, cheese and apples… could have been worse) and even hung out the washing for me. I precooked the evening meal yesterday so I could really just do my own thing all day. I sat in my jammies, eating tim tams and watching movies and generally just gathering strength for the term ahead. I totally recommend it!

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