Your Inner Voice

36 Comments

 Freedom

I’ve just submitted my final TAFE assignment and I’ve got one more exam to go before the whole thing is done and dusted. I can almost taste the freedom. It’s so very, very sweet like sunshine and lolly pops.

What freedom tastes like.

What freedom tastes like.

I can’t tell you how motivated I currently am to kick on with my career. I really can’t. In fact I am positively chomping at the bit to throw on a bejewelled kaftan (a tent of magnificence ) and swan about like a professional in a variety of exotic locations. Palawa Island in the Philippines is a good enough place to start. Oh my this is some titillating travel porn.

This works for me.

This works for me.

This too.

This too.

I'm so excited and I just cant hide it.

I’m so excited and I just cant hide it.

Hold on a minute… Didn’t last week’s post also feature a stunning South East Asian island destination? Is this blog becoming repetitive?

Thanks Fass. Have I ever told you that you are HAWT?

Thanks Fass. How unusual to see you here and OMG you are still HAWT!!

Your Inner Voice

Now I’m going to veer off on a totally random tangent. It is said that the key to self love and hence happiness is changing your inner voice. Its an interesting concept. I am fed up with my nasally Shire girl whine*. I would much rather my inner dialogue took on the soothing tones of

Benedict Crumpet-batch

Benedict Crumpet-batch

Not to be confused with a batch of crumpets.

Not to be confused with a batch of crumpets.

The really awesome thing about this is that as it is my internal voice I get to write the script. This means the Crumpet-batch says lines like ” Hand me a microscope because girl your butt looks miniscule in those khaki shorts” and “I demand to see your birth certificate because there is no way you look 43”. He’s such a talented actor always gives an Oscar worthy performance. It is convincing enough to have me doing my own rendition of Summer Nights.

Well-a well-a well-a, huh. Tell me more, Tell me more.

Well-a well-a well-a, huh. Tell me more, Tell me more.

And so he tells me more. Things like – “Hey girl – I saw these in the supermarket and I just couldn’t resist getting them because they remind me of you. I can’t wait to try it out when I do the next load of washing”.

Small but mighty - is really putting a positive spin on it.

Small & mighty – is really putting a positive spin on it.

And ” I got this as well because

I'm so ready for your jelly".

I’m so ready for your jelly”.

Oh my – I can feel my self esteem swelling by the minute.

Do you ever indulge in travel porn?

Who would you like your inner voice to sound like?

Love

Mumabulous

* For those of you who are unaware of my shame – Dadabs and I were born and breed in Sydney’s Sutherland shire but didn’t meet until we were in our mid thirties and living in the inner city.

PS: My apologies to Melbourne Mum who is the biggest Crumpet-batcher in our blogging community (We’ve been disallowed from calling Benedict fans “Cumberbitches”-(http://melbournemum.com/2014/02/18/the-retort-files-cumberbitches/ ). Its only his voice I want – I swear.

36 thoughts on “Your Inner Voice

  1. Heh-heh. I totally want your *cough* inner voice. And thanks for that early morning swoon, as well. I think I may have made a little Crumpetpatch all of my own! Kx (oh, and thanks for the shout-out, too!)

  2. HAHA! Good to see the crumpets return. My inner voice, hmmmm. Need to think about who I’d want for that! I’ll report back. x

  3. People have very strong opinions about this issue and I take notice. My current problem is that there is finite Chris Hemsworth to go around.

  4. Hilarious. My internal voice is rather musical, think theme song or sound track with a lot of sound effects following me around. My life is a musical of sorts.

  5. Haha…really can’t see the attraction in Ben Crumpet-batch (though know I’m in a minority here). But haven’t seen the Sherlock series so maybe he’s dashing in that…

    HOWEVER Michael Fassbender was an amazing Mr Rochester (if you haven’t seen it yet, prepare to drool) 🙂

  6. So that is very exciting news… what have you got planned once all your study is over? I have a feeling you’d be bored and lost without your inner voice. I know without mine I’d be a lot slimmer and have WAY less hangovers! x

  7. Congrats on nearly finishing your course! I’m just about to commence study, excited and daunted all at the same time.

  8. My inner voice sings to me in the dulcet tone of Mr Dave Grohl *swoon*. Alas I am from the “Benedict Crumpet-batch looks like a tall white praying mantis” shcool of thought. I am now bracing myself for a torrent of abuse from Melb Mum and any other crumpet-batchers out there…

  9. Unfortunately my inner voice of late has been Dory from Finding Nemo chanting “just keep swimming”. Maybe if I had’ve had the forethought of having Benedict talk in my head with his lovely deep voice, my brain would not have melted down?

    I love the travel porn but I hate you now for making me want to sail away! Congrats for being so close to your sunshine and lollipops x

    • Kirsty – Seeing as you are having a tough time I am happy to lend you Benedict for a few weeks. I’ll use Fass instead. “I’m so ready for your jelly” sounds swoon worthy in an Irish accent.

      • You are amazingly kind – I might just take you up on that offer! I’m back to work on Monday so could certainly use Benedict to help me through it although the thought of Fass saying those words in an Irish accent is also rather attractive…

  10. Congrats on completing your final assignment … what an achievement! Those gorgeous travel photos have me wanting to rush to the nearest travel agent … oh well, I guess I can dream!

  11. Hey congrats on finishing your course. I can’t remember what you did it in, or did you not tell us? Your inner voice sounds very cool, not sure who I would like mine to sound like. You’ve come up with some great suggestions though. I try not to indulge in travel porn anymore it just makes me cry. Sigh.

    • For me the thing about travel porn is that I have some chance of actually making it to Palawa Island at some point in the distant future hence more satisfying than looking at crumpets.

  12. My brain thinks in travel porn. I can’t read a newspaper with starting to wonder if I want to go to where ever the breaking news is set…hmmm, that would be interesting…does that make me a dirty travel perv?

  13. Oh wow, imagine if you could set that inner voice? Like an internal celebrity sat nav! David Tennant when you’re feeling whimsical – perhaps a spot of Joanna Lumley when you need some sophistication? I’m sure I’d take a lot more notice of good advice if it came from Colin Firth rather than the whiny cow who’s currently in residence.

    • I’m in love with this concept. David Tennant threatening to pull out his sonic screw driver whenever I am bad, Joanna Lumley encouraging me to be bad (Bolle dahling) and Colin Firth with “I like you very much. Just the way you are”. Its a trifecta of awesome.

  14. Congrats on finishing your course!! Love travel porn anytime. And I need to rustle up an inner voice for myself that is Ryan Reynolds !!!! – deb xx

  15. Congrats on finishing Tafe! I love looking at travel photos too. I imagine I’m in a quiet exotic location when I have kids demanding my attention.

  16. Finishing study is awesome.
    I sometimes imagine what that would feel like, but then realise I probably need to start studying to begin with 🙂

  17. Congrats on making it to the final countdown on your course, I hope it opens the door to many opportunities for swanning around on tropical islands!

  18. Congrats on the tafe course busting. I love travel porn as much as I love crumpet. I look at it and think…Take me there now. ..bugger my morning coffee, I want to be there now! The voice coming over the planes PA would preferably have to be Chris Hemsworth 😉

  19. You made me giggle and lust for exotic locations…and the rainbow washing detergent lids. My inner voice – is John Lithgow reading The Places you’ll go.

  20. thanks for the smile – travel porn is one of my favourite escapes

  21. Congrats on finishing the course – a ‘working’ holiday is well deserved I reckon. Love your choice of travel porn. I’m pretty fond of the snowy mountain lodge porn images and cuddling up to my inner voice.

  22. Far out you make me laugh! My inner voice has a rough English accent – kinda like scary Spice bahaha for reals!!! x

  23. I talk back to my inner voice. It doesn’t like it very much. Heh.
    I need some sunshine and lollypops. And rainbows. Let’s throw in some unicorns in too 🙂

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