Postcards (& Other Randoms)


If I were Yoda I would say things like

yoda med

You have to imagine me doing the voice.

Yup – this really is me.

football meme med

World’s second most over used meme.

I’m not even interested in it from a crumpet perspective. I prefer men with necks and unsmushed faces. Moreover although I have absolutely no problem with brawn its brains I covet. For me when it comes to equations

Oh my Prof Brian.

size matters. Oh my! Prof Brian. (Potentially a new meme)

If you are one of the thousands of footie fans out there I really don’t mean to “dis” your passion. Nor do I mean to imply that anyone who plays league is unintelligent, although getting thwacked around the head every weekend can’t be good for you. Let me explain my position. I was born and bred in Sydney’s Sutherland Shire which means a rusted on allegiance to the Cronulla sharks. Mention this to anyone outside the insular peninsula and their reaction is inevitably

A Sharks fan? Fecking hilarious.

“A Sharks fan? Fecking hilarious!”

To the district’s eternal shame the “mighty” Sharks have never won a premiership, are cursed by a “finals hoodoo” and have an uncanny knack of “snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.”  They actually reached the grand final in 1978. I remember it clearly as it was a momentous occasion for my family and possibly the high light of my father’s life. Naturally we were crushed by the Manly sea eagles.

Nowadays Sharkies fans commiserate by circulating this sort of thing around social media.

sharks med


Cronulla meme med

As I have since escaped to the light side of the Georges River I could deny my past and start supporting the local team – the Eastern Suburbs Roosters. Yet my “Shireness” runs deep. I feel as though loyalty to the Sharks has been branded upon my very soul.


World’s most over used meme.

Its far far easier to feign complete disinterest. I’ve since reached a point where the disinterest is no longer feigned.


If you are part of the vast Australian middle class, you have probably spent many a child hood holiday in budget accommodation up and down our coastline. You are more than likely all too familiar with the local gift store and its plethora of tacky souveniers. Among the piles of shell jewellery

shell necklace med

and the ubiquitous kangaroo scrotum

and the ubiquitous kangaroo scrotums

chances are you’ve encountered this fair dinkum Aussie bloke

with remarkably well toned buttocks.

with remarkably well toned buttocks.

I swear I have seen him at every seaside location I have ever visited in this country. He really gets around. What’s more he’s been baring those gluts for donkey’s years. Admittedly this guy is always grossly out numbered by cards featuring scantily clad Aussie sheilas but we’re not interested in that.  The dude’s broad brim hat demonstrates a sensible approach to sun protection. I’m sure he remembers to slip, slop, slap – which would be an interesting event to witness.  Meanwhile this adorable little fellow doesn’t need to given that his sun screen is built in and soft to touch.  All Aussies know that koalas can really shred the tube.

A ridgy didge Aussie gromit.

A ridgy didge Aussie gromit.

This stuff really brings out the poet in me.

I love a sunburnt country

A land of naked rears

Of  random surfing koalas

And roos chugging cold beers.

roo med

Are you a rusted on sports fan? What are your favorite kitschy souveniers? And which memes are you completely over?



I'm bringing out all the classics today.

I’m bringing out all the classics today.

34 thoughts on “Postcards (& Other Randoms)

  1. I grew up in the western suburbs but instead of supporting Penrith Panthers or Parramatta Eels my parents were obsessive Balmain Tigers supporters so I was dragged to Leichhardt every weekend to watch games. I never managed to drum up the slightest bit of interest in it, except for a brief crush on Wayne Pearce when I was 12.

    And speaking of kitchsy souveniers, my Mum used to collect spoons. She still has a display cabinet of spoons. Classy.

    • Wayne Pearce is a step up from Benny Ellias 😉 Its kind of retro cool in an ironic way to support the Tigers. Ditto for the much maligned art of collecting spoons. I might have relatives with similar display cabinets.

  2. So I hate league, I’m a union girl, but that’s the NZ’er in me. Richie McCaw, I dare you NOT to perve and adore his gorgeous self and Dan Carter – Google and you will be converted to the gorgeous lads of NZ union.
    Those postcards are great, I remember as a kid we (dad) got one from a friend in Aussie, it was Bum Titty Bum and was exactly that – CLARRRSY!

  3. I hate league. I hate Union. I hate cricket. But I love your postcards 🙂

  4. Haha, I love your walk through the hottest memes on the internet. Hawtest.

  5. Not into NRL but I do love AFL – but I’m a Bomber, not a Swan. (Keep your comments to yourself.) Love the poem – enter it into Overland Poetry competition…

  6. I’m really not a sports fan of any sort. I have a rusted on loyalty to the Roosters (who my step-father supported in my childhood, until we got a local team of our own), but that doesn’t actually extend to paying attention to the ladder, let alone watching the game. And anyway, my family is now into AFL (my son plays – under 12s – and my DH is a loyal Kangaroos supporter). So I have to try to remember that I support the Crows now (cause I lived in Adelaide 20 years ago), not just the Roosters.

    As for the memes – yes, I am over them all 🙂

  7. Great post, very funny. I don’t care about football either…any football, thankfully my husband doesn’t either. Love the kangaroo scrotums – do tourists realkly fall for that? 🙂

  8. I don’t care about the game in all the languages/codes!! Can’t believe it’s only on half the year. Seems longer.

  9. I really do enjoy your poem! And I also share your apathy for NRL. However it’s even worse for me – I’m a Kiwi. We have the Warriors…

  10. I grew up in the Eastern Suburbs and now live in The Shire… I am a Rabbitoh supporter through and through and so I’m met with the same kind of reactions and criticism by NRL fans 🙂 (The Rabbitohs have won 20 premierships but all before I was born). I taught at a school where most kids were Roosters supporters too and even copped flack from them!

  11. You had me at the Yoda one!!! Cracking up laughing – couldn’t agree more! xxx

  12. The best thing about a Yoda meme is that I need no reminder to imagine, or “do” the voice. That happens naturally. Instinctually. It must be the force…

  13. I’m with you on the NRL thing, although I do like me a good Origin!

  14. Aaargh football!
    Hilarious as always and now I know my beach-side holidays have been seriously lacking!

  15. You are brilliant, I give not a koala f@rt about NRL either and the poem is GOLD.

  16. Just think … if it wasn’t for footy, cricket and all the other sports out there – Husbands would have to spend more time with their wives. Is that what you really want?

  17. I’m on the border of The Shire but I’m a Bulldogs support. I didn’t grow up in Bulldogs turf either. Go figure.
    All I can say is this, book a babysitter if and when the Sharkies ever win the GF coz The Shire will be going off. Like Puberty Blues off.
    As for the roo balls, that’s disgusting! Yuck!!

  18. I lost all train of thought when I saw the kangaroo scrotums and now I cant unknow what kangaroo scrotums look like…. 🙂 You get me every single time xx

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