First World Issues


Is your life beset with very minor inconveniences which could best be described as “first world issues”? Welcome to Chez Abulous. I’ll show you mine.

To begin with I am peeved that Barbie’s car is significantly hawter than mine.

Hawter than a Mazda 2?

Hawter than a Mazda 2?

I have a walk in wardrobe. Yay! High fives all round. But all too regularly I can’t find my stuff in it.

Items of clothing disappear into this vortex

Items of clothing disappear into this vortex

Clearly I don’t have enough shoes.

there are still some empty pigeon holes.

there are still some empty pigeon holes.

If you have daughters your house is likely to be absolutely riddled with these things in every possible color, pattern and permutation. They appear in the most unlikely of places – under cushions, in the vacuum tube, behind the toilet, in the back of the fridge. Perhaps you’ve even taken to accessorizing your gym gear with them yourself. The glittery pink numbers are particularly fetching when teamed with lycra. Unfortunately you can never find one when your Year 1 girl is screaming for you to put her hair in pigtails and you have five minutes to get out the door.

Elastics are breeding!

Elastics are breeding!.

I’m not entirely sure what a wazoo is but I do know I’ve got bougainvilleas coming out of mine.

Its like Night Of The Living Dead.

Its like Night Of The Living Dead.

I have lost my exercise mojo and ergo I am feeling extremely nawt hawt.

This is motivating me to do several sets of middle finger lifts.

This is motivating me to do several sets of middle finger lifts.

Luckily my mojo for calorific treats is unaffected but my health conscious husband insists on buying unsalted nuts. I have to salt them myself.

Salting Dadabs nuts.

Salting Dadabs nuts.

Meanwhile some lazy sods simply could not be arsed scrambling their own eggs with a fork.

Prescrambled eggs. Now I have seen it all.

Prescrambled eggs. Now I have seen it all.

I may have given you all the impression that Fassbender is my greatest love but the truth of the matter is that it’s chocolate. If pure bliss could be condensed down into a square inch like a neutron star it would be this stuff.

chocolate honeycomb!!!!!!

chocolate honeycomb!!!!!!

It HAS to be Violet Crumble. Nothing else will do. This Crunchie shite is a poor impostor. Do you think I can find Violet Crumble at my local Colesworths? There are rows of floor to ceiling confection but nary a Violet Crumble in sight.

What's wrong with this picture?

What’s wrong with this picture?

Did the Violet Crumble go the way of the Polly Waffle and the candy cigarettes? I believe that the current scarcity of Violet Crumble is unAustralian and that Tony Abbott should do something about it. Bring back the VC with the Knighthoods TA!

Bryan Ferry was a Slave to Love.

That'll kick start your mojo.

That’ll kick start your mojo.

Sadly, I by contrast am a slave to a four year old. However I don’t think that is strictly a first world problem. It’s universal.

When she says "bake" we bake.

When she says “bake” we bake.

In truth, like Bryan I am a Slave to Love because I do love my golden haired girls.

What are your first world issues?





36 thoughts on “First World Issues

  1. I was really cranky the other day when I (as a one off because I had a sore back and my house was filthy as I work full time) hired a cleaner and paid her $275 up front for a spring clean. When I came home she hadn’t even vacuumed. All she’d done was wipe down the kitchen bench. Grrrrrrr.

  2. Haha, great post but CRUNCHIES RULE!!!!

  3. Violet Crumble over Fassbent??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. My first world problem is being unreasonably SHITTY over the fact I couldn’t see the Crumpetbatcher at Adelaide Comic Con on the weekend. Well, not unless I wanted my kids to fend for themselves back in Melbs. It would have been almost worth it.

    • The thing is that Violet Crumble is actually attainable – sometimes. Of course if Fassbender knocked on the door bearing a bag of Violet Crumble…….. Crumpetbatch was in the country? I thought I felt a movement in the Force. (Its OK to mix your franchises when Crumpetbatch is involved).

  4. OMG! Your husband is offering you unsalted nuts? Does he even know you?

  5. Hahahahaaa! No sorry, Fassbender wins. Thank so much for linking up!!! x

  6. That’s great! I LOLd at the salted nuts. My first world problems are:
    My kids hate walking the dog so trying to get everyone out for a walk is a huge time-sucking drama while the dog drives us crazy for the two hours it takes us to get going
    My clothes won’t fit in my wardrobe so they’re piled on a box next to the bed and I can’t find anything so I wear the same three outfits in rotation
    My attention has become fragmented with so much good stuff to read or watch and when I have free time I can’t decide what to do
    Fun post!

  7. Hilarious! My life too is riddled with first world problems. For example, Jamie Packer is going to take my Harbour view away with a god awful casino that none of us needs and the man I voted for is letting him get away with it.

    I’m turning 40 this year yet I still live with my parents (hence the nice view). They are on a six week cruise and I’m struggling to come to grips with how to survive without them.

    The Violet Crumble issue is definitely a tragedy but not as tragic as the demise of that Australian confectionery icon Darrell Lee. Dazza defo had the premium choc coated honeycomb in my view.


  8. Can not believe you have to salt your own nuts. That’s right up there with not being able to drink a drop of bubbly in the last 5 days thanks to a nasty tummy bug…which may or may not be my current FWP x

  9. I’m so glad I’m not the only one that hasn’t been able to find Violet Crumbles at the grocery store. My husband loves them and I had to resort to buying two Violet Crumble bars as opposed to a packet. I love your shoe wardrobe… there’s an empty space though… you may need to buy another pair of shoes to fill it. 🙂

  10. I can’t even remember what a Violet Crumble packet looks like, let alone what it tastes like. It’s been far too long.

  11. My First World Problem at the moment is not being able to think of a new title for my blog! How will the World survive if I have to quit?? Don’t answer that….

  12. I feel the urge to lift my middle finger too at the picture of the sculpted mum with her kids asking what’s your excuse. And I’m also unsure of what a wazoo is – must look that up sometime…

  13. I have yet to look at the Honeycombers to choose my restaurants in Singapore…where will we dine???? (Hopefully I’ll resolve that today….)

  14. Your daughter looks just like you!

  15. The hair ties – can so relate, although these days my 10 year old dancer girl does her own hair and can bloody well find her own ties and bobby pins for buns. I haven’t noticed a violet crumble in the shops for an age either, but must admit, I am a traitor to a crunchie on occasion.

  16. What is wrong with that picture is that everything appears to be on sale but I wasn’t there to buy it all. Thanks for the giggles.

  17. Bahaha I love that you are salting your unsalted nuts! Thats so funny! Oh and I love Violet Crumbles too! Sooooo good! xxx

  18. You are hands down one of the funniest bloggers I know!!!!!!!!! Thanks for linking. That bush, those nuts (who buys unsalted?) and yes I find hair ties all over the house except where they are supposed to be! Yes to Violet Crumble and YES YES YES to that skinny bitch. Don’t suppose you’re going to that Voices 2014 Masterclass in Sydney on Saturday, I’m flying down for it, can’t make the night even though, long story. Thanks for linking and I can’t wait to see what you have when I host next week!!!!! x

    • Thanks hon. No unfortunately I can’t justify going to the Voices Masterclass as my blog is such small potatoes. I’m sure they would tell me I am doing everything wrong anyways. Its a shame – I would love to have been able to meet up with you.

  19. Violet crumbles are the best!! I can’t believe you have to salt your own nuts, criminal!

  20. I became VERY angry in the lolly aisle a few months ago when I was searching for Violet Crumbles to decorate my sons’t birthday cake (first world problem right there). They still do have the home brand ones which are also pretty yummy.

  21. My first world issue today is that my fullstop key has stopped working on my laptop! I am exclaiming a lot!

  22. Haha! Mine is when my recordings dont work and I cant catch up on Home and Away!

  23. My most frequent first world problem is that I have nothing to wear!!! *groan*
    Oh, and that my wifi at home sucks sometimes 😛

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

  24. It can’t be true! Please don’t tell me the VC is GONE?! I could eat a whole bag of those bites. My first world problem is that we’re going away this weekend to a beach side resort when we have so much to do at the house we just moved into last weekend.

  25. Yep, 4 daughters here and hair ties EVERYWHERE! Drives me nuts. Oh and totally agree with violet crumble squares. THE BEST!

  26. Love your blog! My most recent first world problem was that there was no frozen potato gems left at Colesworth today and I just about cried. Such a travesty. I can totally relate to the hair elastics – they are everywhere until you need one and unsalted nuts are as bad as unsalted butter. I do prefer Crunchies to Violet Crumbles though, sorry 🙂 Mel x

  27. OMG I thought I was the only one who salts my own nuts,,.. God that sounds wrong on so many levels! x

  28. Ready-made scrambled eggs? That is Disgusting, yes, with a capital D! And I hear ya on the hair elastics, oh how I hear ya!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s