Its a good thing that most of us, at least when sober, have a filter that stops us from blurting out whatever happens to be on our minds. Today my filter is more like a sieve.
Its a marvelous thing to encourage and develop creativity in your child by doing craft activities with them. Its just a darn shame that what the kids produce is often such complete shite.
Chez Abulous is bursting at the seams with this kind of junk. The girls of course think this stuff is wonderful and I haven’t the heart to file their handiwork in the wheelie bin – yet.
I’m not sure what possessed us to make a paper mache pinata from scratch for P1’s impending 7th birthday party. I suppose we thought it was a wholesome craft activity that would encourage and develop creativity in our girls. One well worth the shite result at the end.
P1 is well chuffed by the way the pig (yes it is meant to be a pig) turned out and P2 wants one for her 5th birthday party in November. Only P2 wants us to buy her a pinata because “it’s quicker and it looks better”. Not only does P2 look like me, she thinks like me. Its a dangerous combination. Lock up your sons!
Dobbing has reared its ugly head in Chez Abulous. P1 took great delight in informing me that her sister was making Spiderman bash the Barbies with a miniature spatula. Of course we will not tolerate violent play in this household and P2 was promptly told off for “not being very nice”. Nevertheless I thought to myself that those plastic biatches had it coming.
The joy of reading.
Dr Seuss is lauded for his contribution to children’s literacy but not for his contribution to parent’s sanity. My heart drops a little every time I am presented with this as bed time reading.
I am all for twisting my tongue but not around passages such as
Which beast is best?…Well, I thought at first
that the East was best and the West was worst.
Then I looked again from the west to the east
and I liked the beast on the east beach least.
No Theodor Seuss Geisel I can’t say that but I can say “Sod the Sod Orf!”.
I’ve come to the conclusion that size is far important to men than it is to women. Case it point, my husband thinks our TV is too small. Infact he is embarrassed to reveal it in front of his friends (some of which are extraordinarily well endowed televisually. Some of them have whoppers).
I argued that our television was perfectly formed and that anything more than a wall unit full is a waste. Dadabulous is unconvinced. He is so bothered by the issue he is seriously contemplating a surgical solution. He wants to adjust the wall unit (at considerable expense) and implant a larger screen. Men!
It’s politically incorrect to admit it but I spent Dadabulous’ hard earned money on these shoes.
I did not need them. I have no idea when I will get to wear them or even if I can still walk on a serious heel. Still they are the fabulous! I luff them.
I quit sugar! ( Hahahahahahaha – I almost had you there)
I was cruising down the aisle at a local Colesworths humming to myself “Hello I love you. Wont you tell me your name” – which Gen Y whippersnappers may or may not know is a classic tune by The Doors.
Anyhow imagine my surprise when I got a response in the confectionery section.
Its a fine thing for everyone when Lindt chocolate gets conversational. We’ve developed quite a rapport Caramel Brownie and I.
The ultimate First World Issue
The ultimate first world problem is the fact that when it comes to ice cream there is simply too much choice. How many hours have you whittled away in the freezer section of the the super market searching for a 1 litre tube of plain vanilla. Not vanilla with bourbon and hazelnut or elder flower or eye of newt – just simple vanilla for a cheeky spoonful here and there. Alas pretty much every flavor variant in existence except for vanilla. Homer Hudson used to produce a heavenly concoction appropriately named “Vanilla Nirvana” and no it had nothing to do with the band. That seems to have gone the way of the Violet Crumble bar which ironically can still be found in ice cream form. A dude named Harry has gotten in on the act. He has developed a range of classic desserts in a tub.
If he ever put out a plain vanilla, I’d marry Harry.
What’s been on your mind?
* The pinata has since been painted.