The Day I Got Lucky.


So I have just finished binge watching four concurrent series of Game of Thrones. The fact that this is newsworthy should give you an indication of just how exciting life here in Chez Abulous really is. If I’ve gleaned anything from GoT its that my life as an Eastern Beaches housewife is as pampered, comfortable and safe as it gets. ( I’ve also gleaned that Kit Harrington and Iain Glenn are smokin’ hawt). In the Game of Thrones the players stare down death everyday and twice on Sunday’s. All too often  they come off second best. No one is immune – not even the uber smokin’ hawt.

Two hawt bros but only one of them survives to the end of Series 3

Two hawt bros but only one of them survives Season 3.

In stark contrast I feel like I’m going to die if 10 am rolls around and I haven’t had my coffee*. You can tell the time by my moaning about this – it is that reliable. When I am heard to complain “If I dont get a cappuccino now I’ll die” you know its 9.30am. Its got to be a real cappuccino made by the artisan hand of a skilled (and preferably hawt) barista. That Nescafe shite wont cut it when it comes to matters of life and death.  Also over the past seven years many is the occasion that I felt like I was going to die of boredom. Particularly during those endless hours spent at the park, playgroup, swimming lessons and viewing In The Night Garden.

This one is from Bake Bar in North Randwick

This one is from Bake Bar in North Randwick

There has only been one occasion when I sincerely believed my number was up. I wish it were an heroic story like falling down an ice crevasse and crawling my way to freedom (that was Touching the Void) or having to drink my own urine whilst stranded in the wilderness (That is every episode of Bear Grylls and Todd Carney on a big night out). Sadly my brush with the Grimm Reaper was much more mundane.

Bear Grylls surviving the outback.

Bear Grylls surviving the outback.

Back in the BC (before children) era shorty after Dadabs and I shacked up we took my chariot on the epic trek to the Gardens of The East. Which is a fancy pants way of saying I drove my shit box Mazda 121 to our local Westfield – Eastgardens. Calling it the Gardens of the East makes may life sound vaguely exotic. That bottle green 2002 Mazda really was a box of shite. Dadabs risked dying of embarrassment every time he stepped inside it. On the one occasion he actually had to drive it he found the experience so humiliating he decided there and then to buy me a new car. But I digress.

Chariots of Shite

Chariots of Shite

Whilst we cruised down Avoca St towards Anzac Parade Mother Nature unleashed an Almighty Gale. She can be a bitch that way. The gumtrees that lined the avenue bent and groaned helpless in the sway of the cyclonic winds. Then I saw it – a bloody great tree branch hurling straight towards my windscreen.

Like many a movie cliche time slowed down. I watched stunned as the log inched towards us as if in slow motion. I didn’t however see my life flash before my eyes. My one thought was “you’ve got to be kidding! It can’t end today, I’ve only just found a half decent boyfriend and been promoted at work”.

Just when it looked like all was lost and I wouldn’t get to finish the report on the mining services company that I had been working on the log lowered its trajectory. It smashed into my radiator with a sickening thud. Water leaked out all over the road. Dadabs and I had been spared by a matter of inches. Talk about getting lucky!

The car limped into a side street and we walked back to the former Chez Abulous determined to restart our journey to the Gardens of the East in Dadabs chariot – a firey red Mazda 3. Brenda and David having avoided their demise lived on to become Mum and Dadabulous. Even the Mazda 121 carried on heroically for several more months until it was deemed unfit for a successful software developer to be seen in.

Since that day luck has been on my side and Game of Thrones is the closest I’ve come to experiencing another brush with death.

How about you? Have you ever stared your mortality in the face?



*If you noticed that very bad GoT pun, you are as nerdy as I am. High five!

OK – enough with the GoT references already.

12 thoughts on “The Day I Got Lucky.

  1. In the space of two weeks a barbecue table fell off the back of a ute and then a windscreen fell out of an old car being towed in front of me. Luckily they didn’t make contact because some weeks later some kids playing on the footpath threw a Frisbee directly into my windscreen and all I did was blink my eyes shut. Clearly I have no survival skills whatsoever.

  2. I wonder if Dadabs actually orchestrated the whole thing to get rid of your bomb? He is a scientist after all? 😉 x

  3. I would have shite myself. Thank goodness you are still here today to make sure no one misses out on the hawtness that is out there. Can’t say I have had any close calls like that, thank gawd 🙂

  4. So, the big question….did you ever finish the report for the mining services company???

  5. We had a couple of nightmarish boat trips while on our honeymoon in Tasmania years ago. I honestly didn’t think I would survive. Plus, I’ve also survived 43 years of living in the wild west.of Sydney (also known as the arsehole of Sydney). Does that count?

    Glad you lived to tell that tale. Would have been so scary. xo

  6. We were in a Fiat Punto (hire car, nobody actually owns one of them) in the dessert of Morocco (back packing adventure so not as glam as it sounds), it was getting dark and the Fiats headlights weren’t working (told you, hire car), a large shape loomed in front of us, we slammed on the brakes only to miss a camels bum in our faces by centimetres. Would NOT have been pretty! Anyway that was back in the day, BC, as now the scariest thing is getting past that jungle gym as you enter the Gardens of the East.

  7. Husband and I watched all series of GoT back to back too. Now it is so so long till the next one.

  8. I once had a burrito at Eastgardens. And if you’re watching Game of Thrones, then maybe I should too. Once my kids grow up and leave home and I finally can control what goes on the TV.

  9. Take home message from this post” Jon Snow. Jon Snow is hot.

  10. I love GoT. Got the pun. Brushes with death? Yes, at my own hand unfortunately.

    So you worked in the mining sector? Me too! My old boss was one of the biggest mining analysts in the world. He has the same last name as you do. His first name starts with J. Know him?

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