This blog tends to avoid culinary related matters unless we are talking about tasty crumpet. There are a plethora of bloggers out there with expensive cameras and a sprinkle of talent who can do the food porn thing way better than I could ever hope to. Nevertheless Mumabulous does like to spice things up. So today I am going to share with you an example of modern Australian cooking straight from Hells Kitchen, or as some people prefer to call it – Canberra.
- One fractured global economy
- One unsustainable fiscal structure
- One biased and polarized media
- An utterly dysfunctional ALP
- A generous splash of factional infighting
- Half a cup of high level corruption
- A dash of union toadying
- One troupe of ideological zealots with a penchant for marginalizing the only voices of rationality within (alternatively known as The Coalition)
- A teaspoon of climate change denial
- A heaped cup of business lobbying
- An assortment of self interested crazies (alternatively known as the Palmer United Party, Motor Enthusiasts Party or RevHead Party)
- A tablespoon of naive dewy eyed idealists (The Greens)
- One very pissed off Australian public
Chefs Note: Under no circumstances should compassion for marginalized groups such as the elderly, the unemployed, the working poor, the sick, the disabled or refugees be added to the mix.
- Puree your leader as frequently as possible
- Shred your (poorly explained ) policy at the slightest sign of public disapproval
- Cook up the lamest election campaign in the history of democracy
- Blend catchy but ultimately meaningless slogans with frequent appearances in Speedos
- Mix a faux debt crisis with a scare campaign about the carbon tax
- Mince public health and education
- Knead the less well off into submission
- Roll out a set of unpalatable policies
- Chefs Note: Adding credible opposition policies at this point will cause the mix to spoil
- Place the minor parties in a senate shaped saucepan and stir over heat
- Continue until the whole thing boils over
- Dissolve both houses.
- Start again.
What a dog’s breakfast! No wonder the Australian public has lost its collective taste for politics.