A Recipe For Chaos

15 Comments

This blog tends to avoid culinary related matters unless we are talking about tasty crumpet. There are a plethora of bloggers out there with expensive cameras and a sprinkle of talent who can do the food porn thing way better than I could ever hope to. Nevertheless Mumabulous does like to spice things up. So today I am going to share with you an example of modern Australian cooking straight from Hells Kitchen, or as some people prefer to call it – Canberra.

Modern Australian cuisine

Modern Australian cuisine

Ingredients

  • One fractured global economy
  • One unsustainable fiscal structure
  • One biased and polarized media
  • An utterly dysfunctional ALP
  • A generous splash of factional infighting
  • Half a cup of high level corruption
  • A dash of union toadying
  • One troupe of ideological zealots with a penchant for marginalizing the only voices of rationality within (alternatively known as The Coalition)
  • A teaspoon of climate change denial
  • A heaped cup of business lobbying
  • An assortment of self interested crazies (alternatively known as the Palmer United Party, Motor Enthusiasts Party or RevHead Party)
  • A tablespoon of naive dewy eyed idealists (The Greens)
  • One very pissed off Australian public
That aint humble pie

That aint humble pie

Chefs Note:  Under no circumstances should compassion for marginalized groups such as the elderly, the unemployed, the working poor, the sick, the disabled or refugees be added to the mix.

Method

  • Puree your leader as frequently as possible
  • Shred your (poorly explained ) policy at the slightest sign of public disapproval
  • Cook up the lamest election campaign in the history of democracy
  • Blend catchy but ultimately meaningless slogans with frequent appearances in Speedos
  • Mix a faux debt crisis with a scare campaign about the carbon tax
  • Mince public health and education
  • Knead the less well off into submission
  • Roll out a set of unpalatable policies
  • Chefs Note: Adding credible opposition policies at this point will cause the mix to spoil
  • Place the minor parties in a senate shaped saucepan and stir over heat
  • Continue until the whole thing boils over
  • Dissolve both houses.
  • Start again.

What a dog’s breakfast!  No wonder the Australian public has lost its collective taste for politics.

A dog's breakfast.

A dog’s breakfast.

Love

Mumabulous

Australia gets the raw prawn

Australia gets the raw prawn

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

15 thoughts on “A Recipe For Chaos

  1. Not a dish I like the taste of that’s for sure! You clever clogs you!

  2. Pingback: Food Recipes | Food Recipes

  3. I felt extremely jealous when I read this. Far cleverer than anything I could write. A+++

  4. I mean “far more clever”. See what I mean!

  5. So well put. Glad I’ve already eaten or you’d have put me off my dinner…

  6. oooo sorry I couldnt I just couldnt… I like politicians as much as I like brussel sprouts… which isnt a lot. But you however are a master ched when it comes to cooking up words xx

  7. No matter which party you support, you’ve summed it up with “» One very pissed off Australian public” perfectly!

  8. It’s a bitter dish. One that’s guaranteed to give you the sh1ts.

  9. hahaha, that’s great!!! Very clever you, thanks for linking up!!

  10. Your dose of wit makes the political medicine much easier to go down, but still I find politics unpalatable!

  11. I live in Canada and the USA, and I don’t keep up with politics in either country, so obviously I’m clueless about what’s going on in Australia. I haven’t been to Australia since Expo ’88.

    The way you presented the information is brilliant, and made me want to know more. More precisely, I need to know if there are really appearances in Speedos??

    I stumbled it!

    • We have an athletic Prime Minister who likes to display his manly sporting prowess by doing triathlons in Speedos. He also gets about in cycling lycra on a daily basis. It is not something you really need to see. If I had to look at a politician in Speedos I would certainly choose Obama.

  12. Awesome and well written! love the photo of the dogs. They are so beautiful!

  13. And they expect us to eat this crap. They say that it all comes out the same way anyway.
    I can totally see Joe Hockey as the fat dressed goose in the middle of the banquet. And it brings to mind the words of Mick Dundee, “You can live on it, but it tastes like shit”.

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