The Morning Person

20 Comments

The clock radio read 6.00am when she sprang out of bed full of vim and vigor. She was greeted by a view of the rising sun, a luminous mango colored orb hovering gracefully over the glassy ocean from her bedroom window. She slid on a pair of jeans noting that they were feeling slightly looser around the hips and wandered downstairs. There her husband stood in front of the sink. Warm, soapy water caressed his muscular forearms as he scrubbed the last of the breakfast dishes. Apparently her seven  and four year girls had both eagerly gobbled up their Weet-bix and fruit without complaint. Having shunned the morning cartoons they were now playing together happily in the family room. The tune of happy giggling made for soothing background music.

Not Dadabs but close enough.

Not Dadabs but close enough.

Mumabs took the opportunity to escape and headed out into the glorious morning sunshine to her local high street.  She ordered a large skinny cappuccino at her favorite hipster cafe and made mildly flirtatious banter with the handsome strawberry blonde barrista. His resemblance to Tom Hiddleston was uncanny she marveled. If that were not invigorating enough, the first sip of milky ambrosia brought her fully to life. She even contemplated jogging back home but dismissed that thought as a momentary lapse in sanity.

When she arrived back at Chez Abulous she found her computer unoccupied. Her seven year old had not commandeered it to watch Total Drama Island. She sat at her uncluttered desk. It was remarkably clear of kids artwork and general debris. In this zen like space she got in a good 10 minutes of uninterrupted social media time.

Breakfast was also a leisurely affair. She savored every mouthful of Bircher muesli with grated pink lady apple whilst scrolling through Facebook on her phone. (Which nobody snatched from her in order to take innumerable butt selfies)

Then she attended to her morning ablutions without an audience. Happily her daughters were starting to appreciate the value of bathroom privacy. Her hot shower was particularly luxurious for not being punctuated by screams of “Muuuuuuuuum, Muuuuuuum”. Indeed she relished being able to stand in the cubicle serenely contemplating Michael Fassbender the day ahead without the interruption of a small person attempting to bash the bathroom door down. Apparently this morning no one urgently needed a piece of fruit cut up – or if they did it could at least wait for five minutes.

 

A place for quiet contemplation.

A place for quiet contemplation.

When she emerged clean and refreshed her girls were brushing their teeth unassisted. Her seven year old got dressed without detouring via the computer to watch yet another episode of Total Drama Island. The delightful first grader put on her fresh underwear and school tunic without jumping on the bed or performing a rousing  rendition of Katy Perry’s Firework. The proverbial icing on the cake was the manner in which Miss 7 donned her white cotton school socks without complaining about lumps and itchiness.

Meanwhile the four year old had eschewed her normal choice of onsie or swimsuit and  dressed herself in a daycare appropriate outfit complete with sensible shoes. Mumabulous almost heard the singing of angels – Hallelujah!  Perhaps it was just Jeff Buckley on the radio.

Oh my - sequins!

Oh my – sequins!

 

Then she woke up. Reality freakin’ bites!

dishes med

 

This is what I live with.

This is what I live with.

20 thoughts on “The Morning Person

  1. Love it! You totally had me!!

  2. Bahahahhahhahhahaha! I knew it was all a dream – a beautiful, swoonsome dream – but I was right there with you. Sigh. On another note: butt selfies are a thing now?

  3. I knew all along this was a dream sequence, I’m a realist like that!! Great work 🙂

  4. It was a dream sequence to rival the winning Lotto ads—as if that happens in real life …

  5. Total Drama Island is in heavy rotation here too. Love your work! xo

  6. You completely tricked me. I was suspicious about the going out for coffee BEFORE the kiddles went to school though. Is that really your toilet lid? I saw one in Bunnings like that and I really wanted it. If it’s your real toilet lid then I’m jealous. Are they bats or stingrays on it? I can’t enlarge the picture. Being a water toilet I’m guessing stingrays but knowing you it’s probably bats.

    • I really do sneak out of the house first thing every morning to grab a takeaway coffee before Dadabs leaves for work. (and the barista really is hawt). The toilet came with the house. Its a sea-life motif (being an beach side suburb and all). It is emblazoned with dolphins & a lobster.

  7. You had me until you said the kids were playing happily – what kids do that in the mornings? 😉 x

  8. You should write fantasy novels for mummies the world over Mumabs!

  9. I wish I had a hawt barista in my neighbourhood 😉 x

  10. Sigh. If only! You write good fantasy, Mumabs.

  11. Reality is a pain the arse! You had me going there…

  12. Fantasy would lose it’s appeal if reality competed with it, so we wouldn’t want that really, would we?

  13. Bahaha, brilliant! I want to go and live in that world. Btw, I love that you used the word ‘eschewed’. Best word in the English language.

  14. Reality bites. You had me for a moment but I twigged when you said you had the bathroom to yourself and that your kids were starting to respect privacy. Like that would ever happen 😉

  15. haha nearly!! My hubby actually does do this!! The kitchen is usually spotless when I come down on the weekends, he is an early riser!
    Thanks for linking up again, I love reading your posts!

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