The Boss’ Wife

18 Comments

I see my ‘Abulous life as a fairy tale. Except that I’m more like one of the Ugly Sisters who having been thoroughly rejected by Prince Charming takes up with the Palace IT guy instead.  It turns out to be a remarkable twist of fate – almost as if the fairy Godmother was looking out for the ugly sister on the sly. The Palace IT guy has a mind like a diamond, abs of steel and a heart of gold. Through his esoteric knowledge, techno wizardry not to mention entrepreneurial flair he is highly sort after in the Kingdom. He does very nicely thank you very much.  Another analogy is a jaded thirty something Guinevere becoming bored with the macho posturing of Lancelot and Arthur and running off with Merlin. ( Only in this case Merlin’s magic is his mastery of C+ and other mystic tongues).

So the shoe didn't fit

So the shoe didn’t fit

 

Marry the Palace IT guy instead.

Marry the Palace IT guy instead.

 

So by whichever sorcery brought it about, Mumabulous finds herself in the position of being the boss’ wife. I suppose it confers a certain amount of status in a quaint pre-feminist sort of way.  It is something I did not expect and was certainly not groomed for (as my last post about language will attest). Luckily for me Dadabs is not Sir Schmooze-alot so I haven’t had to do much of the typical “executive” partner thing. I’ve avoided he conference and dinner party circuit. Dear Lord – could you imagine it? Mumabs making risque puns and honking was Dadabs tried to butter up clients at swish events?

Now that I’m actually going into the office I am expected to conduct myself with some decorum in front of the staff. It has been a challenge – as if getting dressed and getting to work wasn’t challenging enough. The first major problem is the way I address my husband. I try to call him by his given name but occasionally I lapse into “home speak” and refer to him as “Daddy”. (Clearly as parents we haven’t lost our identity). Its all to easy to address him as “darling” and even easier still to call him “&^%&#@”.

I try to keep the conversation about the kids to a minimum. However sometimes I find myself regaling Dadabs with tales of my epic struggles to get the kids ready for school & daycare – complete with my own interpretation of their interpretation of the latest Katy Perry song. I don’t think the Gen Y staff really need to hear or indeed see any of this. It might put them off parenthood and the country needs more smart people to breed.

 

But I'm nowhere near as embarrassing as the office Dalek.

But I’m nowhere near as embarrassing as the office Dalek.

 

Most of all I’ve got to watch the seriously bad puns. I embarrassed Dadabs a few weeks ago. He hung up the phone with an exasperated sigh and muttered ” Some clients want me to wave a magic wand”.  To which I said “Oh Daddy there’s magic in your wand”. “Daggers” is the best description of the death stare I got after that clanger. He mouthed “Shut up, shut up”. Another time I had to send an invoice to a gentleman whose compound surname had “bush” in it.  I said  “that sounds like a porn name”. The staff member who was sitting nearest at the time chuckled. I dont know if he actually found it funny or he was just being polite to the boss’ wife.

Could you imagine Cinderella acting that way in front of her Prince? Nah me neither. Would I want to swap places with her? Not on your life. Ugly sisters rock!

How do you handle work events with your spouse?

Love

Mumabulous

Roger med

18 thoughts on “The Boss’ Wife

  1. Love that you married the Palace IT guy!

  2. You’d be a fun boss’s wife. I bet they all love you.Now I’ll spend all afternoon dreaming up funny compound names with bush in them…

  3. Daddy. BAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA! That would be so hysterically funny and so hysterically creepy at the same time. I haven’t managed to let that one slip in public (yet), thank god!

  4. And he calls me “Mum” which I guess is one of the reasons why this isn’t a romance blog.

  5. Congrats for marrying the palace IT guy. And I think it should be C++ not C+

  6. Alcohol and strong opinions on social injustices. Which is why I am rarely invited x

  7. “Oh Daddy there’s magic in your wand”. I would have been snorting myself stupid if I was a coworker. You are hilarious x

  8. Ha, ha – you really must be very embarrassing for him. Keep it up I say.

  9. Haha.. I cringe when I hear myself call my husband daddy in public. The wand line was a pearler 🙂

  10. My hubby and I have always been in completely different industries, so ‘never the twain’ really, when it comes to work events. The principle difference though does come down to honking – hubby works in IT where a good honk is always welcome. I’ve always worked for universities/public service sites where honking gets you slapped with some kind of discrimination charge! And I’ve seen that wedding photo before, but honestly – how beautiful is that dress and hair combo? Should have been a fashion blogger!

  11. “Oh, Daddy! There’s magic in your wand!” – BAHAHAHA!
    I suggested to my husband one time that perhaps I could apply for a job at his company. His stare said it all: “No effing way!”

  12. Oh lord, that sounds challenging! Maybe you could get your boss’s permission to work from home more often?:)

  13. I often call my other half Daddy…I never really thought about it up until now…. as usual another terrific post!! Thanks for linking up!!

  14. The last work event I went to with my hubby involved a sausage sizzle and beer. I was as boring as batshit, and the only thing to look at was fat truckers!
    I bet the staff just love having you and your quips in the office 🙂

  15. Hilarious but as the boss surely he should be called Big Daddy. Loved it.

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