It seems to me that the issues that threaten to tear friends, family and even civilization as we know it asunder are often the most trifling. Technology has banished some of these pressing questions like Beta vs VHS or Holden vs Ford to the annals of history. Only a few die hards cling on to these ancient rivalries. Other quandaries like The Beatles versus The Rolling Stones seem to spring eternal, gaining new life with every passing generation (unlike the Stones themselves – by what miracle is Keith Richards still alive?). Some conflicts are seasonal – arising only in September- like which NRL team is the most despicable – Manly, The Broncos or the Bulldogs? The argy bargy reaches fever pitch over the October long weekend then blows over like a summer breeze (or a coke snorting footy groupie).
In modern society nothing is more divisive than confection. The war between M&Ms and Smarties rages on. Within the M&M camp there is a civil conflict between peanut and non peanut. Crunchie sadly appears to be winning its epic struggle with Violet Crumble. I risked ripping my family apart when I asked my brother in law (Uncle-abulous) about his preference for a new Tim Tam flavour. He suggested Turkish Delight! Argh! I did not know I had married into a family of culinary Philistines. I told him that Turkish Delight is an abuse of innocent chocolate. The answer that I was looking for was Cherry Ripe. Dont even get me started on Bounty. Its putrid.
Within my marriage I run a daily gauntlet of minor conflicts. I marvel that with as many as 2 out of 3 marriages lasting, the divorce rate is so low. The biggest source of tension in my relationship is the toast. I’ve been known to fancy pale and interesting men but when it comes to toast a rich shade of mid brown appeals. Dadabs thinks that by over cooking the toast I am going to give the whole family cancer. I think that Dadabs is paranoid about cancer and if you are going to die anyway you may as well enjoy crunchy toast. Dadabs also believes that I overuse cleaning products and exposing the whole family to carcinogenic chemicals. This only strengthens my point that he is paranoid about cancer. Why does he not understand the principle that the more cleaning agent you use the cleaner your surfaces will be. Clearly its a case of
You like potato and I like potahto
You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto.
Let’s call the whole thing off
We are fortunate that social media provides a platform where we can mass debate. If Facebook is anything to go by (often its the only thing to go by) the question du jour is “To burqa or not to burqa?” Many Australian’s are preoccupied with discussing what they find more confronting – an Islamic woman in a burqa or Tony Abbott in Speedos. Of course I am being facetious. There’s a more serious discourse going on here about tolerance and the rights of the individual versus the need to keep Australia safe from terrorists. However I feel that the resulting furore has thrown a burqa over more pressing issues. For example I wish there’d been as much public discourse on whether we should again send troops to the Middle East.
Despite all the seemingly unresolvable conflict around us I’ve observed green shoots of hope recently. Australians of all color and creed are uniting in their condemnation of Blake the Bachelor. Apparently he proposed to one of the dolly birds (as he was contractually obligated to do) then bailed without explanation when the cameras stopped rolling. The chorus of “jack ass” is deafening and the verdict that his behaviour was “Not cool” is unanimous. To me its proof that it is possible to set aside our differences and realize that the things that unite us are stronger than those that divide. All it takes is some trash TV. Who would have thunk that The Bachelor would lead to ultimate solidarity? Go Team Australia!
What are the great ongoing arguments in your life?
Do you feel that your disdain for Blake has brought you just a little bit closer to your fellow citizens?
Does the world need more trash TV?
PS: Time for me to confess that I did not watch The Bachelor. I didn’t watch Offspring either. Despite giving birth to two kids I sometimes wonder if I am infact a woman.