A Banal Bucketlist

22 Comments

People spend hours of their lives that they wont get back  compiling lists of things they plan to do before they die. I find bucket lists intimidating, not to mention redundant. There’s no need to specify that you want to do things before you die.  Conversely there’s not much point in setting goals for after you die. Although I being the quirky individual that I am, aim to donate my corpse to medical science. I would love for medical students to use my cadaver in a prank (do med students still do that sort of thing?) so someone could at least get a laugh from my demise. Dadabs is fully aware of my wishes but argues that medical science would not want my body.  In this sense medical science is like most men I have encountered. A running theme in my life would continue into the great beyond.

Bucket lists are normally filled with lofty aims like not only scaling Everest but all eight of the world’s highest peaks, trekking bare foot to the South Pole and making it more than half way through  James Joyce’s Ulysses. These things are hard. They involve effort and commitment, traits that I lack in droves.

I dont know how I became an under achiever. It may have started when I considered that cliched question often asked by motivational types – “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” I briefly assessed my list – run my own Hollywood casting agency, have one of my tunes performed by Weird Al Yankovic* and see the Cronulla Sharks win the NFL premiership. Reality bit hard as I recognised that failure is indeed an option.

Perhaps I should formulate a list of less ambitious goals. Humble achievements are still achievements right?

I present for your inspiration Mumab’s Banal Bucket List.

1) Win a Nobel Peace Prize for mediating between rival factions at the local P&C.

2) See the MacBeth movie starring Michael Fassbender on the big screen. This may not sound like much but negotiating a leave pass, finding a willing babysitter and convincing Dadabs to see a Shakespeare adaption involve tricky logistics. Getting all of this right is like landing the Rosetta space craft on the 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko comet. Its possible but its takes millions of man hours and the expertise of thousands.

What - I haven't Fassed you in months.

What ?- I haven’t Fassed you in months. But Oh My he is still hawt.

3) See Flight of the Conchords live – difficult for the reasons explained above but certainly worthwhile.

4) Slice an onion without feeling like I’ve been attacked with a can of mace.

The rings of evil

Rings of evil!

5) Similarly remove my shoes at the day’s end without being overcome by noxious fumes.

6) Experience a good hair day.

Selfie

Selfie

7) Leave the house without forgetting an essential item like a child’s sun hat or drink bottle.

Dont you forget about me.

Dont you forget about me.

8) Consume this award winning bottle of McGuigan’s sparkling wine in one session.

Can we do it in one hit?

Can we do it in one hit?

9) Brush my children’s hair without the neighbours calling DOCS about the screaming coming from our house.

10) Have Dadabulous do the laundry – twice in the same decade.

A husband free zone.

A husband free zone.

 

What’s on your Bucket List – banal or otherwise?

Love

Mumabulous

* You’re Gonna Hear Me Snore & Eye Of The Cougar are great candidates. See https://mum-abulous.com/2014/08/04/ive-been-thinking-about/

 

 

 

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22 thoughts on “A Banal Bucketlist

  1. Mine are similarly banal – no climbing Mt Everest or writing a New York times list best selling novel for me. In fact all I could come up with was…

    1. Taking the boys to Foo Fighters concert – I have completely brainwashed them due to my ongoing obsession with Dave Grohl so they know all the words to the entire Foo Fighters back catalouge

    2. Organising myself a rip-snorter of a 40th b’day party – I have not had a proper party for any of my milestone birthdays and I want to do it before my boobs go completely south on me.

    PS. Due to a proposed work trip I may be in Sydney in a few weeks. Not sure if it’s possible but i would love to sneak in a coffee or champers (time permitting) with you in person 🙂

  2. If you cannot down that bottle in one session, then we are no longer mates x

  3. I’d LOVE to see Flight of The Conchords live! And a good hair day wouldn’t go astray either. Great list!

  4. You have to have a bucket list because those are your dreams aren’t they? Mine include holidays by myself, living by myself….oh, dear!

  5. I am so with you on the hair brushing! The two year old didn’t take too long to adopt the four year olds shrieks of bloody murder upon the wielding of the brush of doom
    I have been thinking about the onion issue. Either I have become immune to the wiles of the onion, or the onion is being bred out of it’s sting…

  6. My goal was to actually stay alive until I was 40. As my 40th is just under a month away I guess I can now cross that one off the list! My other goals include surviving my son’s school years and to go overseas at least a couple more times. I’d like to meet a decent man who loved me for who I am but I’ve pretty much given up hope on that one!

  7. I like to dream small. More chance of success. So mine include owning a home one day (though that seems awfully large these days!) and travelling overseas. I would also like to one day establish a housework routine that doesn’t leave me cleaning like a mad thing because people are going to visit. Oh! I also want a pet pig!

  8. Love this post! Just discovered your blog through FYBF. Thanks for the morning laughs and have a good weekend.

  9. Ha ha. I’ve shown my husband how the washing machine works twice but I’m pretty sure he’s never turned it on.

  10. Also found you via FYBF… I’m so with you on No.6 – just one.freaking.day. Is that too much to ask?

  11. I wrote myself a long list and continue to revise it… as in acheive something, then write it on the list just to cross it off.

  12. I’m with you on the onion, and the peace prize for P&C!

  13. I’d just be happy to stop my daily repeated sayings of “Sand stays in the sandpit” and constant asking of the question “Where are your pants?”. I’m also more than happy to help you achieve # 8 on your list – too easy.

  14. That P&C stuff should definitely earn you the Nobel Peace Prize! All I can say is OMG!

  15. Interesting concept about your thoughts of a bucket list!!!
    I have always wanted to write a bucket list, but I reckon it would change so much cause there is so much I want to see and do…
    and I love LOVE your number 5…as a mum of five boys we all have smelly shoes!!!!
    The good hair day is something I have finally got a handle on, its through a good hair straighter that I am able to look OK when stepping out of the motorhome each day.
    Would Love to see as much of Australia as my bucket list….guess you could say my list is never ending {if there is such a thing?}

  16. I totally want to donate my body to science. I think it would be a perfect example to teenagers as to what not to do with your body lol!

  17. Not a bucket lister my self either, but will join you on the wine consumption!

  18. I only have two goals on my list:
    1 – achieve a full forward fold in yoga. This doesn’t sound like much but my current maximum fold is about 15 degrees.
    My second goal is much more achievable:
    2 – Make my lentil lasagne for Sir Paul McCartney.
    He’s not my favourite Beatle but I think he would really like my lentil lasagne.

  19. To help you down that bottle of award winning sparkling wine. For reals! x

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