Last Sunday was particularly arduous. Swimming lessons followed my five year old’s birthday party. I returned home from the reservoir of toxic chemicals sometimes known as the Des Renford Acquatic Centre at 4:30pm. Drinks o’clock was half an hour away but that didn’t bother me. Nor did the fact that we had drained the open bottle of chardonnay. I grabbed one of Dadabulous’ Cascade blondes and flopped on our bed starring out across our ocean glimpses. I mumbled to Dadabs that I couldn’t really complain but folks you know me by now. Not having the right to complain wont stop me none.
Life in Chez Abulous is beset by a myriad of first world issues. Here are some of the more taxing;
Have I ever mentioned that I have five bathrooms? Here’s an investment tip for you – buy shares in this stuff. We are keeping the company afloat.
Meanwhile perversely on the statistically rare occasion when both of my girls need to relieve themselves at exactly the same moment – they converge upon the same bathroom despite being spoiled for choice. It’s inevitably this one.
In our household we experience
Perhaps its a sign that the end is nigh and I won’t be able to get my house clean for the Messiah’s second coming. Judgement day is fast approached and I will be found wanting. At the same time you know you are in a party house when you come across hidden stashes in the bathroom.
Whilst the grime is taking over the doll population is exploding.
Its outpacing the plaster figurine boom.
Its enough to make you want to get plastered.
The odd thing is we’ve only got two male toys in the house.
Things in the kitchen are no better. My fruit bowl is full of
There’s only so many banana muffins one can bake and consume.
We are experiencing problems with technology. Mainly the lack of screens. Team Abulous consists of four members but we only have two PCs. Even worse there is only one Ipad.
These are merely the tip of the proverbial ice-berg. Delve deeper and you’ll find a myriad of trivial but the nonetheless annoying problems like ;
- The logistics of parking between two SUVs
- Sequins embedded in the carpet
- The delicate art of washing tulle
- Deciding which items of plastic junk to keep and which to donate to the charity bin.
- Milk wars – your child wants you to purchase the carton with the pink label then refuses to drink it because its skim.
- Too much crumpet in the neighbourhood. I have almost permanent whiplash from turning my head to have a perve at a fresh one every few minutes.
What First World problems are affecting your household? Do you have solutions.