New Celebrity Fragrances

16 Comments

Celebrity narcissism (or in Kim Kardashian’s case arsisssism) knows no bounds. It isn’t enough that they inflict their oiled up backsides on our social media feeds, dress us in their signature clothing lines and parade the minutiae of their lives as reality TV? Apparently it’s not. They want us to smell like them too.

It seems like all the listers from A to Z have their own perfume.  According to Wikipedia (yes someone had enough time to collate a Wiki page on this) Brittany Spears has lent her name to 16 different fragrances. That ought to keep K-Feds bank balance smelling sweet.  Antonio Banderas ( the latino crumpet which I rank as my daggiest crush but – that’s a whole other blog post) has a collection of colones under the “Seduction” banner. The marketing campaign for  Seduction is laughably cheesy. Just imagine Derek Zoolander advertising “Blue Steel” aftershave and you get the picture. Actually don’t bother imaging it – I’ll give you the picture.

Antonio splashes Angelina Jolie

 

Here’s our hero seducing none other than Angelina Jolie with his big blue splash. To my mind the connotations are quite obscene. (If they are not to your mind why are you reading this blog? You are not filthy enough. Click away).

At the other end of the spectrum One Direction have two signature scents – Our Moment & You and I. Doubtless 1D could sell anything from toilet paper to tax returns but seriously who would want to smell like five barely pubescent boys on a hormonal rampage? P-eeeeeew!

I would not want to smell like one teenage boy let alone five of them!

I would not want to smell like one teenage boy let alone five of them!

The fragrance that really puzzles me comes from that marketing behemoth some people know as The Beckhams.  Dave and Vic’s “Intimately” line is quite the turn off for this cougar.

Seriously who would want to smell like The Beckhams getting intimate? Eeeeeeeuw.

Who would want to smell like The Beckhams getting intimate? Eeeeeeeuw.

I have decided to get in on all this celebrity stink action. You may not have guessed but there’s a marketing genius inside of me (he looks like Don Draper – HONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and he’s just busted loose all over Photoshop CS6.  With no further ado I present Mumabulous’ new range of male celebrity fragrances just in time for Christmas.

 

Class4 med

Shane Warne Klass med

 

krass med


TAs denial med

If you’re going to lower the tone of the political debate you may as well be non-partisian about it.

but as Bill doesn't get about in Speedos he is not nearly as much fun.

but as Bill doesn’t get about in Speedos he is not nearly as much fun.

And finally as his existence in the Parliament stinks its natural that Clive Palmer should bottle his own odor.

Clive palmer 3

 

Why the PR agencies aren’t knocking my door down in a frenzy I will never know.

Celebrity scents – do you own any?

Who do you think would make a great fragrance ambassador?

Which celebrity do you want to smell?

 

Love

Mumabulous

16 thoughts on “New Celebrity Fragrances

  1. OMG! That’s just too bloody funny! I wish I’d thought of it! But then again I don’t have the same wicked sense of humour as you! Hil-ar-i-ous!

  2. This post needs to come with an eye-bleach warning. Warnie and Eddleston in the one place. Eeeeww. I need to take a shower and douse myself in Antonio’s Blue Splash. (ironically, I almost typed “douse” as “douche”. Ouch.)

  3. Can I order a crate of Crumpetbatch’s ‘Class’ please? I think you might be onto something there. Not too sure about the others, though 😉

  4. Oh B this is GOLD my friend. I want the first one only – as for Clive’s – shiver, shudder, YIKES!

  5. #Klass & Krass are spot on, and would no doubt be weirdly big sellers…

  6. Oh Mumabs, you’ve done it again. Pass the neuralyzer.

  7. Ah hahaha! Love it! I’d like to suggest a Jackie Lambie fragrance- what do you think?

  8. Oh, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your range of perfumes. Denial is, of course, my fave xxx

  9. Love this! What a crack up! I don’t own any celebrity fragrances. I always find them a little daggy!

  10. Hahaha, love this. Spot Mumabs, as always! I did get Dave a David Beckham fragrance quite a few years ago as it was the nicest one in my price range, but I’ve never used a celebrity perfume myself. It just seems a little wrong! Plus I’ve never found one I like!

  11. Love this post and your suggestions for more celebrity fragrances (I noticed there wasn’t a Mark Latham perfume in the political mix?!). You always hear celebrities talking about their fragrances but how involved are they in the process? I can’t imagine the One Direction boys in lab coats debating the merits of floral vs oriental vs citrus scents. The TV ad for their perfume was hideous enough.

  12. I do love your new range lol. I am ashamed to say I have a Britney perfume that I frigging LOVE but I never tell anyone it is actually by Britney when they ask.. except for now. i guess I just told everyone lol xx

  13. Don’t forget Eau de Herpes by Paris Hilton. Have never, and will never, buy a fragrance endorsed by a celebrity. Any celebrity, even one I like. Unless they actually train to be a parfumier and invent the scent themselves, possibly. PS, this is Alison, can’t recall the password for my account, hence the new one along with irritated user name 🙂

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