If you are a regular reader you’d know that Dadabs and I are a particularly ambitious pair. We blow aspirations out of our aspirations. Dadabulous is working zealously on his goal of becoming a grumpy old man and I have a dream that no one can take away – the dream of becoming a dirty old lady. I’ve bought the cougar pants and I intend to wear ’em. I also bought this age inappropriate top. Riooowwwwww.
My problem is that over recently weeks its as though my husband and I have switched modus operandi. He’s been swanning about making the most terrible (and dirty) puns. They don’t bear repeating. Lets just say its a good thing that our kids don’t understand double entendres yet. Their idea of risque is to chant “Shake yer bum, bum, Shake yer bum bum” implying they possess the wit and sophistication of Nicki Minaj. I really expected better from them at age 5 and 7. But I digress and you love it when I do that.
See what I mean!
Anyhow back at the ranch Dadabulous is channeling his inner Dick Emery (Ooooooh he is awful but I like him) and I am finding myself in an almost permanent state of annoyance. It is as if I not Dadabulous, is morphing into Victor Meldrew. Sadly I’m more often like this.
than like this.
My general cranky disposition may be hormonal. I’m turning 45 this year and am probably in perimenopause. However I’m noticing a distinct correlation between my mood and time spent on the interwebs.
It all started a back in early December when TV and radio host Yumi Stynes took her baby to a red carpet event clad in just a nappy. Forget Kim Kardashian’s naked butt this was the thing that nearly broke the internet. A frenzy of shaming, counter shaming and shaming those who shame broke out. Even Derryn Hinch weighed in. Mind you he was concerned about the public hygiene aspect. The thing about all of this white noise was that I didn’t care. I simply did not give a proverbial shite. I didn’t want to see comment after comment on my Facebook feed about this non-story. The worst thing of all was the media kept referring to the baby’s attire as “a diaper”. As far as I’m aware Australia isn’t the 52nd state of America YET.
Whilst all this was going on Mark Latham took aim at leftist feminist Mummy bloggers, particularly his Fairfax colleagues. I can just imagine the Fairfax editorial team rubbing their hands with glee at ensuing brou ha ha between Mark Latham and the Daily Life columnists. It was click bait that kept on giving.
Suddenly all the huffing and puffing was interrupted by the Martin Place siege. Frankly that wasn’t good for anyones mood. I dealt with the ensuing melancholy with pinot noir and vintage David Bowie. I scrawled aimlessly through Facebook becoming increasingly annoyed at the commentary as only a person who drinks pinot noir and listens to Bowie can.
In retrospect Australia’s response to the tragedy was exemplary. The police did a stellar job under the toughest of circumstances. I don’t usually heap praise on politicians but Tony Abbott and Mike Baird displayed strong leadership with their calls for calm. Even the media showed admirable restraint (except for the Murdoch rag). Most heartening of all was the coming together of Australians across all creeds to condemn the violence.
Yet despite the flood of goodness that flowed from this terrible event I was still shitted off. I had to contend with a number of posts featuring Australian flags with slogans along the lines of “wake up – Australia”. One FB “friend” put up a post in support of Pauline Hanson. WTF? That old chestnut? I toyed with the idea that she was being ironic but decided the individual in question didn’t have the mental capacity to do irony. Unfriend.
My few remaining brain cells were assaulted by a discussion where “civil libertarians” were said to be “destroying the country” and that the “fabric of society was falling apart”. Unfriend.
Interestingly I’ve enjoyed a couple of weeks of peace and my crankiness has slipped back to moderate irritation with the kids which is to be expected over school holidays. Now when I’m subjected to simplistic catch cries, meaningless statements and cliches at least they accord with my particular view of the world.
Was I wrong to unfriend these people simply because I disagreed with them? Is social media and media in general acting like mental metamucil for you too?
Is it in fact me who is the very annoying person?
Anyhow I hope in the coming weeks to convince you that Australia is infact “awake”, “civil libertarians” are not running wild, the “fabric of society” is hanging together and Australia is far from being “destroyed”.
PS: This piece needs some clarification particularly in light of the Paris shootings. I am not trying to argue that terrorism isn’t a real threat and shouldn’t be taken seriously. There’s no denying the existence of a tiny but dangerous element who could potentially do disproportionate harm. BUT to suggest that the Australian government is somehow “asleep” to this is just daft. Since 2000 only 4 Australians have been killed on home soil in terror related incidents and 130 overseas (95 in the Bali bombing). At the same time the Federal government has committed $600m in funding for counter terrorism over the next four years. They’ve also tightened up counter terrorism laws restricting the movement of terror suspects, granting ASIO and the Australian Federal Police greater powers as well as collecting everyone’s meta data. Are these measures offensive to civil libertarians? – Definitely. Will they save lives? – It’s impossible to quantify but most probably. Would more lives be saved if $600m was instead channeled into healthcare? Life’s never simple.